Couple nights ago I had a little time between getting off work and when I had to be to my weekly mens group. It was a beautiful evening so I pulled into this park along the way. After a few minutes, out of the corner of my eye I see this girl, probably early 20s, walking down to this hidden area with a fishing pole. She's by herself and looks pretty good from behind. Eventually she disappears from view. I knew I really should just stay in my car but I hadn't been to the area she went so decided I'd just wander down and check it out. Sure enough I'm halfway down there and she comes walking back. We're about 50 feet from each other on parallel paths but I can tell we're each checking each other out side-eye. Finally I know I have to say something so I walked in her direction and asked if she caught anything. By the time she answered we were a foot apart, eyes locked with each other and my joint was jumping. I don't even remember her first answer, just how she was smiling and how blazing blue her eyes were. So then I asked if they allowed fishing down there and she said, "The sign says recreate at your own risk. To me that's a yes." Innocent enough answer, but the way she said it and how she was looking at me was something Ive never quite experienced before. "F Me" eyes, bouncing on her toes, the whole deal. So here's me, not having had sex in more than 7 years (by circumstance) and the last 3 of those on SR, and there's her, young, cute, nice bod with no ink, giving me every signal that she's up for it right now. I've always heard that when a woman REALLY wants you, you know, but I haven't had that happen to me in years so it knocked me back a bit. The one voice is saying, "do it, skip your group, take her home and F her brains out. Break the drought and be a man again." The other voice is saying, "she is not for you, bail out and get to your group like you're supposed to." The 2nd voice won. I said, well have a good night and turned and walked away and didn't look back but I heard her get in her car and drive away right afterwards. I didn't get her number or anything. A very strange few minutes, and part of me hates that I willingly gave up a hand delivered opportunity but deep down I know it was the right choice.
Congrats man, that's a good win. I've had a handful of times when women have given me that "F me" look, and MAN is it electrifying. I'm curious though--how come your mind presented the options of either "go home and F her brains out" or "don't do anything?" Was getting her number not an option? I mean if you obviously know she's not for you *at all*, then getting her number would be pointless I guess. Just wondering why a third, middle-of-the-road option didn't feel like it was presenting itself.
That's a really good question and one I asked myself the next day. Why couldn't I have just taken the convo a little farther, said "hey I've got someplace to be but I'd like your number so we can pick this up again later." For whatever reason that didn't pop into my mind, it was only that I had to bail right away. She probably wound up thinking I'm either the craziest or creepiest guy she's ever met and/or that what she said turned me off (when actually it was the exact opposite). And that bums me out cuz she seemed like a sweet girl overall and she was definitely my type.
I do get it. I had a time in LA where an absolutely stunning woman walked right up to me on the sidewalk and said, "I remember you!" In my head, I was like, "lady, if we met before this, trust me, I'd remember." Then she goes on to describe the exact moment we had a brief conversation a full year earlier. My jaw hit the floor when I realized she was right. I was near a handful of co-workers who watched the whole thing go down, and they were like "who the heck is this guy that random insanely hot women just walk up and say hello?" Her ride came by and picked her up, and she was gone. I never got her number. It's almost like those experiences are so surreal, unlikely, and unexpected that our rational brains go out the window and we don't even know what we're doing in the moment.
I respect you on this website and as a person in general… but I think a better “testament” to semen retention would be if you did go for her and got her number and went on a date with her I just don’t know how much of NoFap is auto suggestion vs. genuinely related to NoFap. idk though! But just saying my opinion… I don’t view this interaction as a “win”
OP's experience presented him with two options: either objectify this woman and use her for his own pleasure and validation, or leave her alone and go on about his day. If he's been struggling with porn and sex addiction, then option #2 was a win.
the girl could have just been being nice though, also, she isn’t going to be rude to a grown man when she is by herself and in risk of danger, just in case he was a psychopath or something I’m just saying, no way to know for sure if she was genuinely interested in having sex with him or not unless he asked. OP may have just been interpreting her signals as interest, when the objective truth was that she was just being friendly. but anyways, I respect both OP and your opinion, I just think a better testament to “semen retention power” is actually going for the close, because the results will show if she was interested or not
It just depends on what someone's priorities are. Some men practice SR because they want to have more confidence around women. Some men practice SR because they want more control over their sexual impulses. "Wins" will look very different to those two groups.
This is a great conversation. I appreciate all points being raised. For the benefit of a little more context, I am widowed as of a year and a half ago. I saw my late wife through two bouts of cancer, the first which took sex off the table 7 years ago and the second which took her life. I devoted myself to SR after her terminal cancer diagnosis so I could be the best man possible for her and have kept it going since she passed. I am currently in a season of exceptionally strong urges and literally nothing even close to a new romantic partner so that made this opportunity all the more tempting. I have been terrible with women my whole life and since my wife passed have worked very hard on my spirit, soul and body and on courageously approaching women who appeal to me and don't appear to be taken (though it turns out they always are). While I'm still really bad at talking with women I at least have enough balls now to start conversations and I believe with enough "reps" this will get better over time.
This is so very touching. I commend you and am in a similar situation. I identified with your original post but even more so now. Aren't those brushes with feminine beauty refreshing.
Hey OP, yep I knew about the passing of your wife. I’ve been a member on NoFap for almost 3 years now (had a different account first) Anyways, I enjoy reading your posts! Thanks for sharing them
