flat line and the troubles and positives that come with it.

so I have been in flat line for a few days, I didn't expect it so soon so it took me a few days to research it and see the symptoms I was going through are the same as flat line. I guess it's good that I've made it so far and I'm glad but I won't lie and say these last few days have been easy. the constant on and off depression is probably the worst of it , it like being a yo yo,one second everything it dark and a few minutes later it's okay and than its depressing again. combined with suicidal thoughts it really just made it very hard for me.

the lack of motivation is there also but that might have something to do with being tired,not the normal tired,I feel the jaded type of tired all the time and no amount of sleep is enough for me to get away for it,some days just getting out of bed to do my basic things are hard for me .

my anxiety that had really lessened has returned and it's even worse now I guess.

and as expected my sex drive is next to zero, I couldn't be bothered with porn or woman ,this girl I really liked and was so attracted to now does nothing for me,it's as if I couldn't be bothered with her anymore yet I still like her but I don't feel a sexual attraction to her . the urges are there but now they more telling me to check if everything is okay with me and maybe go back to safety when I felt sexual attraction than the need to actually want to watch porn .

all in all these last few days have been nothing short of fucken hell, all the above symptoms and brain fog and body pains are hard but now that I've realised it's flat line in feeling better be cause this will pass and when it does I'll be better of for it .