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Flatlining again??!!??

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Recovering PA, Jul 27, 2018.

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  1. Jul 27, 2018 #1
    Recovering PA

    Recovering PA Fapstronaut

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    Hi,

    Firstly there are going to be possible triggers in my post so if you are in early recovery it may not be advisable to read on.

    I have been in recovery from January and apart from a few missed steps, no relapses but stupid thoughts or suggestions to my SO that have set us back somewhat. I thought I was through the worst with my PIED and away from missed or incomplete erections.

    Our last few intimate sessions have not included penetration but have been great and I have O'd. Last night we got close and I managed penetration without a full erection but it died almost instantly. I am worried and asking for advice, I was in the mood and aroused but worried as the first thing my SO turns to is 'have I relapsed' and this frightens me as if she believes this she will leave as I have hurt her enough already.

    Has anyone else on here experienced anything similar and has advice as I am at a loss of what to do.

    on a side note I have just reengaged in the fight for my children with my abusive ex and have a lot of anxiety about the future, could this be a factor? or am I clutching at straws.

    Please help me.
     
    Recovering PA, Jul 27, 2018
    Recovering PA, Jul 27, 2018
    #1
  2. Jul 27, 2018 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Stress can affect your performance, as well as plenty of other factors. It is normal, however you seem to be really anxious about sexual things- you still remember your relapses etc. Try to see your sexual life like something 100% good, relaxing and pleasurable :)

    If the problem occurs after some time, even after eliminating potential factors, then visiting specialist (sexuologist) can ba a good shot.
     
    Deleted Account, Jul 27, 2018
    Deleted Account, Jul 27, 2018
    #2
    Recovering PA likes this.
  3. Jul 27, 2018 #3
    Recovering PA

    Recovering PA Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, I was definitely overthinking last night and felt a lot better after talking about it and my other issues with my SO. Its nice to read that I am not alone.

    Since doing 90 days I have not relapsed but this stinks of old issues/ behaviour and is unsettling.

    Again thank you for your advice.
     
    Recovering PA, Jul 27, 2018
    Recovering PA, Jul 27, 2018
    #3
  4. Jul 27, 2018 #4
    Brooklyn Jerry 70

    Brooklyn Jerry 70 Fapstronaut
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    Having the child custody on you mind will surely be detrimental to having going sex.
     
    Brooklyn Jerry 70, Jul 27, 2018
    Brooklyn Jerry 70, Jul 27, 2018
    #4
    Recovering PA likes this.
  5. Jul 27, 2018 #5
    Dr.Shilo

    Dr.Shilo Fapstronaut

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    There are a few things I can think of that might be causing this. One is the stress of trying to win custody for your kids. Stress can definitely affect arousal and ability to maintain an erection. Anti-depressants can do this as well are you taking any? Lastly, if your abstinence from porn and masturbation is centered around the thought that sex or arousal is bad, then you may be creating a negative relationship between arousal and happiness so that when you begin to be aroused, somewhere in your mind you're thinking "this is wrong or bad" and the erection will then go away because of that subconscious realization.

    You might consult a urologist about this issue (they know a lot more about that stuff)
     
    Dr.Shilo, Jul 27, 2018
    Dr.Shilo, Jul 27, 2018
    #5
    Recovering PA likes this.
  6. Jul 27, 2018 #6
    Recovering PA

    Recovering PA Fapstronaut

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    We have failed twice in a short time and because of the added pressure and the fact MY SO has gone without O for some time is it worth her M ing to release the pressure between us on performance? It's a current topic this evening she's just having a smoke and think about it herself
     
    Recovering PA, Jul 27, 2018
    Recovering PA, Jul 27, 2018
    #6
  7. Jul 28, 2018 #7
    Recovering PA

    Recovering PA Fapstronaut

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    Quick update.

    I've decided to write my anxieties and feelings down about my custody battle relating to my children which will help me get through it (last time I went through this I turned to porn) meditate daily to try and get myself into a good place. Me and my SO are going to talk about this and our problems regularly and plan to try again in about a week, hopefully with better results. Positive steps I think.
     
    Recovering PA, Jul 28, 2018
    Recovering PA, Jul 28, 2018
    #7

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