Gay Men's Group

I had asked another moderator about it and he said it looks like it's no longer active. I might like to start a new one if it's not. It would definitely be helpful to chat with guys who are gay, and who are secure in being gay, who are going through this. I've been a little frustrated that when I've posted a few things about my reboot process, the conversation has been kind of dominated by guys who seem to be insecure over and struggling with feelings of same-sex attraction and see that as part of their problem that they must overcome, which isn't the point I'm trying to make and frankly can feel a little insulting. Are there other gay guys on here who might be reading this thread? I'd love to hear from you.

 

Gay and gender identity problems. Day one. Please help

 

just checking

hi, I would be very interested in joining. Pretty comfortable with my sexual identity, gay of course, and interested in the specific reboot process for gay guys. When I first joined NF, i had contacted the group but like you didnt hear back. Then much later heard back. Groups are not really run by Mods, as i understand, so its dependent on who is interested and has time.I ll bring it up fro you and say you are interested in starting and organising?

 

I agree. From anal stimulation is very hard to achieve and most men will never achieve that. So I think that masturbation with a partner while being intimate is shared sexual experience

 

Hi there, I agree with you that I am very comfortable with my same-sex attraction but I'm interested in becoming a more for filled man in and out of the bed.

 

Hi all,

Just found this group (thanks for setting up) and thought I'd see if anyone has a shared experience to me...

I'm a 26 year old gay guy who's keen for some changes. I've been using porn fairly regularly (4-5 times a week) since I was 12/13. In the last few years I've also been using Grindr and Scruff to talk to guys online.

At first using porn and these apps actually felt pretty natural as an outlet for my sexuality. Now I'm not so sure and I'm certain that is has affected my ability to enjoy real sex with some guys.

When I'm with some guys I find it really difficult to feel aroused. I think their really attractive, but I just don't know how to enjoy myself with them. This isn't the case with some guys, but I would say it's quite a few. It's like I'm used to seeing sex, but. It participating in it. Does that make sense? Even with the apps, i feel like they have given my brain to associating that with arousal and not the guy itself. I find it very disconcerting as I would really like to connect with a guy and form a relationship.

I suppose with 14 years of porn use and also the apps it might be a little while before I recover.

Anyone experienced/experiencing the same thing? Would be great to hear from you guys.

 

Hello there! So nice to find this community of gay men because I think there are some differences from the straight one.

Today my second week of no fapping is starting. I wanted to try this because of a PIED. After almost 9 years suffering ED when trying to have real relationships I think I've found my way.

I'm gonna try to explain my whole story so that it can be understood or maybe there is somebody with the same problem and can help them.

The first time I experienced a "fail" when trying to have real sex with my first boyfriend I thought it was due to a psychological matter. I was okay with it, thought it will be gone with the time. But it wasn't. He broke up with me because of that problem and after that experience was really hard for me to find somebody to trust. So I basically spent some years having sex with my laptop's screen... at least once a day (sometimes even 4 times a day and edging a lot).
Sometimes I had the need to experience something real, so I tried to puss myself and find guys to have sex with, but it was going worse and worse. Not possible to stay hard when being top and not really enjoying it when bottoming. Really sad. So I just stayed giving cybernetic pleasure to myself because it was the only way I could enjoy sex.

One day I received the horrible new. My brother passed away. I went through a big depression that was the only thing that made me stop masturbating to porn (masturbating in general) for a long period of time. And during that time was when I found my second boyfriend. I was really connected to him and I didn't really know why. Here's the thing: I was able to keep an erection during sex for the first time in my life. I thought it was because it was the first time in my life I was in love. So I got to believe that I was only capable of having real sex when feeling in love. Everything made sense to me.

After four years of fighting because of different problems between us, we broke up. That relationship gave me lots of problems, and the only fact I tried and tried to keep it going was because I thought he was the only person I could be sexually attracted to. But besides that, it hurt me so bad so I decided to break up.

I didn't have any other relationship/sex partner for two years. So I started masturbating to porn again.

Now I've found a really nice guy. I like him in every way, I can even say that I'm in love with him. But the first time we tried to have sex I completely failed. I thought I was overthinking because of those problems in the past and I really wanted it to work out so maybe it wasn't working because I was stressing so much. After a week we met again (I didn't masturbate during that time) and it worked out! I couldn't believe it! I was really happy and thought the problem was solved!
He had to travel to another country for a bit more than a week, so while I was alone I did masturbate to porn. And... surprise! When he came back and met, I had all those feelings (butterflys in my stomach), I was really excited and wanted to make love with him so bad! But I couldn't stand... It was really difficult for me to understand why.

So after lots of overthinking I decided that maybe I just needed to use some pills or something to be able to have sex with the person I love... But it didn't really make sense to me. Why I was able to keep an erection with a freaking screen and not with him when I have all those feelings going on? So I started my investigation online.

And... OMG! I found this community! How could I have been so blind! The only period of my life I was able to have a normal sexual experience was the time I wasn't masturbating to porn!

So I decided to quit (now that my guy is away for three weeks and I can't have sex for a while).

As I said, today is my 7th day and I'm horny as fuck. But I also feel really low... no energy at all, just want to sleep! Do you guys think this is normal? Because everybody talks about feeling more energetic the first two weeks and low when the flatline comes. But the thing is that I don't think I'm in that flatline, I get a lot of bones, I'm very horny all the time...


Some light over there?

 

Up !

This topic is quite empty... I feel a bit worried about our "community" because the percentage of gay men looks very small among NoFappers.
Just checked in Youtube: 2 gay dudes talking about NoFap against dozens straight men.
I am aware that gay men are rare compared to straight ones, but it seems to me that the ratio should be higher anyhow.

I hope that you guys are not glued to Grindr ! lol

 

Great discussions. Appreciating this as a gay man REALLY wanting to be free of porn and the crap that it does to my head and in distorting my focus on life and life.

I'm staying free of grindr, all those kinds of aps, manhunt, CL, etc. etc. etc. I want to be free and see what happens.

 

Thanks a ton for sharing your story. I'm new to this, day 9. I can tell you each day brings a new adventure. I have tons of hard ons through the evenings. Some days I'm crazy horny, especially the first several days, I tend to sleep really solidly, except for last night, other days I've really distracted and can't concentrate, one day I was completely clear and productive at work it was amazing. Point is, I don't think there is any "one" way that this is going to happen for anyone. I like the idea that I'm "rebooting" my brain and giving it a chance to heal and recover. Will see what happens. I feel hope that these experiences of no PMO are going to lead to something better than i could ever have by doing what I've always done. Keep posting and sharing and reaching out to talk about what you are going through. I am still new at this, but I have hope that it could lead to something better.
Stay in touch, this adventure is just beginning...let's see what happens.

 

Hey man, great to hear your story. I'm still new here and giving this adventure a chance. Keep going, I think there is a lot of recovery to be had here, if what I'm reading about is true. I'm feeling a ton of hope 9 days into this. The notion of rebooting and giving my mind a break makes sense to me. I'm using the support here to keep it going. It's not easy some days, but I'm sticking with it to find out. I used porn daily and it kept me from real relationships and from living out in the world as a gay guy. I'm sick of that pattern and want to change. I think that willingness is the key. Keep going and see what happens, you deserve it.

 

What specifically is going on? Reach out and let us know...maybe we can help you, man.

 

Nothing wrong with being gay. My issue is def about overuse of Prn and its affect on my life...negative effects. glad to hear from you...keep posting and reaching out.

 

I'd love to join the group!

 

Hey everyone, anyone here still using this thread?

I was wondering if, as well as porn, I should stop using apps like Grindr and Scruff too?

 

Hyiaa, I check this thread from time to time

Well I stopped using Grindr and another gay apps, its going to be damn hard to find someone, but I dont think so, you will find a right one on these apps, these apps are more like "sex" apps I hope you understand me

 

Yes, I understand you. It's Day 4 for me now of hard mode NoFap.

I went out to have a coffee with a guy that I went on a date with a while back. Now we're friends, but sometimes I feel as though we could be more... I suppose we will see

 

I am on day 7, but the longest was 23 you are lucky you found someone, i have been without sex for 8 months right now no dating etc
good luck

 

Hey guys Bisexual guy here - is there an active gay/bi/lgbt group on here for Nofap? I'd like to ask some questions, if someone knows the answers please reply. I am attempting a nofap 90 day challenge not mastubating with my dick, but I also sometimes anally masturbate using a dildo/prostate massager/finger etc - I have no issue from receiving pleasure in this way, but PIED/DE when using my dick, presumably from overuse. Would it still be beneficial to keep doing this whilst doing regular PMO abstinence or should it be a complete quit to see the benefits? That is - does the origin of the orgasm matter to the point of the exercise? Thanks

 

Hi I dont think its okay, any touching including your anus and dick leads to masturbation