Girlfriend is behaving like she never knew me..

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by oooo, Feb 27, 2017.

  1. oooo

    oooo Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    My girlfriend broke up with me a month ago, we knew each other from the gym.
    And she was the one who wanted a relationship with me but also broke up with me after a month or so.
    I didn't see it coming, the week before breaking up with me she was totally in to me and telling me how much she loves me. blabla all bullshit. Oh yeah for i forget to tell it she broke up with me using a whats app message.
    I asked her why and she came up with some bullshit story about that she is not yet ready for a relationship.
    I have never feel so fucked up... also due the fact she was my 1st girlfriend. I personally think her mom is involved in the story. But anyway, i respected her choice and told it in the message. But when i saw her in the gym after the message conversation she did not say a word to me and does not even look me in the eye and avoided me. But now she is every time training in the same area as me and talking to guys. I noticed a few times she is observing me or i think she is... So today i was again in the gym and after training i took a sauna after that i was going home and she was also going to home at same time. We were alone both but she didn't say anything and walked away quickly. Someone told me she is ashamed but i am not sure what to think of it.

    I really don't understand what i did wrong and why she broke up and why she is behaving like i am some piece of shit.. :(
     
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  2. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

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    Dude, don't even waste your energy on her anymore.
    Sounds like you did nothing wrong, and that she's just stupid and immature.

    If I were you, just forget her.
    A girl like that is not worth investing your time in, if they just turn their back on you, especially breaking up over what's app, no respect in that, and the childish behaviour afterwards of ignoring you etc is just dumb.

    Move on and find a new gf dude.
     
  3. MeTP

    MeTP Fapstronaut

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    Yeah definitley forget about her, there are surely some better ones for you !
     
  4. PostiveChange1974

    PostiveChange1974 Fapstronaut

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    I know it hurts. It feels like someone reached in and cut you badly.

    Breakups happen for many reasons. Sometimes people don't feel it, or they get scared and run off, bored, or want to try a new partner. Dozens of reasons. Can't let her choice define your value though. You were a human being before you met her, and you are one now. Her choice doesn't reflect what another woman would say.

    As far as her 'ignoring' you, that is normal. Just because people come to the place where they feel and say the words to break up, doesn't mean they instantly feel nothing for you, or don't feel sensitive. Many people deal with that, by putting up a wall, and just trying to ignore the partner completely. It gives them space. It's very very very hard to be friends with someone you dated, without first going cold for awhile, and letting the immediate feelings pass. Most never get to this place. Don't force it or try.

    As others have said here, yes it hurts, but you have to do some of the same as her. Let her go, and try to put her out of your head. (It's so very hard when you share space like a gym though). You and her are no more, so you can't expect anything at all from her.

    In fact, you need to put up a wall yourself. (I'm not saying she would try, but...) You should never just accept someone back from a break up like that. If she got bored and called you right now, you are in a place where you would respond. That doesn't lead to a secure happy life where you can be yourself. You are worth more than that. So it's important to realize your value, and not accept anyone in your intimate life that is just there 'because they are bored'.

    That being said, this being your first girlfriend, I know nothing I say here will change your feelings, or alleviate your pain. It's just has to be experienced and processed, before you will know what to do in the future.

    In any case, you're not alone. We stand with you, even if there isn't a girl there at your side right now.
     
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  5. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

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    It is couple years after I had girlfriend last time but this is pretty common behavior after break up. Why would you talk anyway? Both of you need forget and move on. And you cant do that if you talk, share and care - that's not a breakup. Just move on, she dont want you, that is pretty clear and she was not right for you either. There is plenty other fish in sea.

    I bet she was! And you shouldnt have fucked her! (Just joke - it was hard to resist when you wrote something like this :D)
     
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  6. Move on mate. Don't stalk her. Reality is she will hook up (if not already) with someone before you. And she'll likely move on much faster too. Sorry but it's the truth.

    My advice is accept this as a lost cause and be grateful you had some fun.

    There will be plenty more women for you to go after. They should be your ficus now.
     
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  7. First break up is hard. These things get a lot easier as long gets longer.
     
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  8. oooo

    oooo Fapstronaut

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    Thanks all, for the advice i know i should forget about her in fact i am already dating with other girls.
    But it isn't so easy if you see each other every day in the gym. I feel so depressive at the moment, not only because the fact this girl broke up with me.
    But a lot of things are going on in my live at the moment where i am not happy about, i do have currently zero friends, my best friend passed last year and the only other friend became angry at me last month because i didn't like the website he made for my company. I think i will go to a new gym, but i just would like to have a nice group of friends, but i really suck at making friends. I don't understand what it is that some people make social contacts so easily, actually i think i know what i am doing wrong but because i'v been bullied a lot when i was young day in day out i lost the trust in meeting new people and made myself some kind of shield in which i ignore most people.
     
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  9. Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

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    I was bullied too and I know this feel my friend. I had a recent breakup also, If I were in your area I'd totally go to the gym with you.
    Whatever happened to her, you're on top of it. By the description and what you related that's an extreme immature way of breaking up, we all end up with some concerns regarding it after, dont worry. Time will fix that.

    The worse feeling is that you cant eventually ask and see her emotions when you receive it from text. In the future, if you need to break up with a Gf, dont repeat her error, have pride of yourself and face it live. Most of the time girls prefer text because they dont have confidence to face it and maybe they can get worried over how you will react. And the fact that she ignored you after demonstrates that shes insecure I think...

    Think that way... She will need to face that by herself some day, otherwise, if she continues to dump up with people over text and than try ignoring them after she will end having to go on the streets with a paperbag over her head!

    Cheers bro! I'm with you.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2017
  10. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    I think you are her "training". She has never been serious. She wanted to test or develop her relationship and attraction skills. She succeeded in getting you into a relationship and talk about feelings and all that.
    Then she wanted to know what happens when she suddenly breaks up. You reacted the right way. Let her go, what else to do?
    Now she plays dirty. She wants to know what she can get out of her future ex bfs by playing mind games.
    Do not reward this behavior. Forget her. Eventually her actions might come to people's attention and she will look really bad. Deserved. Do NOT be the bad guy by taking revenge doing anything to her, else she will trash your reputation. Do NOT beg her to come back. She does not fulfill your needs so do not fulfill her needs for egostroking and attention.
     
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  11. Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

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    You have a good point my friend, and I totally agree with you in a lot of aspects, but with the lack of info provided we cant really assume her real intentions behind of what happened.

    Unfortunatly people like you have mentioned, manipulative and self devoted, exists... Thats what we should watch out for. Taking lessons from it faster so we dont allow that to happen again for us.
     
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  12. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    Yeah it's vague information. But the same thing happened to me twice.
    One girl wanted us to come back together again. She left me and regreted her decision. She thought she'd speed up the process by flirting with guys that I hate. That only made me mistrust her. And it's a lose-lose situation. Ignore her? No relationship. Beg her to come back? She loses respect and will leave you again.
    Another girl was just a psycho. She wanted to get some reaction out of me. Not sure if it was a specific reaction she wanted or just see what would happen. Guess what happened? Nothing. I did nothing.

    I think she has bad intentions. Crazy alert!!!
     
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  13. AlisaAlina

    AlisaAlina New Fapstronaut

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    I feel you bro ;cccc
     
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  14. Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

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    Shit. Bro, that sucks :/
    Respect is a really tricky concept, and it is relative to the eyes of the beholder. I also believed that by being romantic, woman would perceive me as weak... What I most hate about this attraction concept is the idea that youll never be able to go back to that stage when she liked you?

    I think its bullshit, people can win respect as well as lose indefinitely. Today I unfollowed my ex in social media, that was consuming me and I'm proud of it.
     
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  15. Michael Svensson

    Michael Svensson Fapstronaut

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    Count yourself lucky you dodged a bullet dude. You want someone mature.
     
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  16. bluemonkey89

    bluemonkey89 Fapstronaut

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    Join a community and especially one where you need to interact, and watch the moments of pleasure flare up....I was an Uber driver, and my god the amazing conversations I had with beautiful people, even if I didn't contact them or see them ever after the ride, those moments shaped me into a better person...I lost my friends a long time ago, what I do now is try to build my self goals and bury myself in work
     
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  17. Gucci Gang

    Gucci Gang Fapstronaut

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    Are you Ugly or not?
     
  18. Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

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    Are you Smart or not?
     
    oooo likes this.
  19. Gucci Gang

    Gucci Gang Fapstronaut

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    I'm in fact very intelligent, but I'm intelligent enough to know, it barely matters.

    All that matters is if you are

    Good Looking

    Or Ugly

    :)
     
  20. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    I don't think it makes any difference in that situation.
    Did she leave him because he was unattractive? If yes, why did she begin a relationship in the first place? *X-Files theme plays*
     
    Potato93 likes this.

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