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Girls in yoga pants triggers porn use.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Shy_1990, Apr 2, 2019.

  1. i realized that all the women at work basically remind me of my wife. i feel like shut cuz i know they arent my wife, then I feel like shit because i WANT them.

    my hope is that when my wife is emotionally ready for a healthy sex life again, the struggles from the outside will diminish
     
  2. Shy_1990

    Shy_1990 Fapstronaut

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    She may not be ready for sex, but how would she feel about other intimate stuff?
    Would she be open to you giving her a non sexual massage? I just wonder if its worth trying to rebuild a sensual connection without the actual physical sex.
     
  3. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    That's great to hear! No worries for the story, personally I think this forum could use more good stories like this one to give people real-world scenarios that others can relate to.

    I think attraction is an emotion, but you went past that and looked at the extra emotions behind that - which I believe to be very helpful to basically take a step back and observe our thoughts.

    For me, an attractive girl provokes frustration. But I have to ask myself, why is that such a big deal?

    My answer, I'm single and desire a partner. And by just acknowledging that, rather than getting caught up in the frustration, means I can instead think of ways to change my life to improve this situation.

    Glad to have helped a bit :)
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. Oh yeah I've been massaging like hell. In my opinion it's the best foreplay cuz it's literally you enjoying her body in a way that helps her feel better so it's like wonderfully reciprocal
     
  5. I think actual women in general are by far the most triggering
     
  6. CORAZZON

    CORAZZON Fapstronaut

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    Lol
     
  7. Ghariiscool

    Ghariiscool Fapstronaut

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    I have the exact same issue...I have a fetish for leggings...I'm an ass man , what can I say? It has triggered me into spending money on porn or even spending my entire paycheck on a three day sex get together with a woman (renting a hotel room, buying a bottle, giving her money, etc) when It's money I should have saved or even used for rent at times.... I really need to refocus my energy...there are many things I'm interested in besides sex and porn but the urges resurface..I'm saying this to say I'm in the same boat as you in a way and I know the feeling....persevere...you can do it! I need to work harder at it myself
     
  8. N1[] @|_

    N1[] @|_ Fapstronaut

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    I feel for you man.... I've been there alot.
    2 options

    Lower your gaze... That's a bit awkward way but, if you know the areas where such encounters might occur just lower your gaze and only look forward.
    Advantage- you wont see what you don't wanna see
    Disadvantage- you wont know if one of your friends are looking at you trying to grab your attention.

    The other way is to loof at their faces but that's really tough.
     
  9. i have a hard time with faces too. its like, then I KNOW its a woman
     
  10. CORAZZON

    CORAZZON Fapstronaut

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    I think a lot of people have this issue when first starting their PMO free journeys. If you look at some of the success stories, it's crazy how much your confidence is boosted from staying clean.

    I challenge you guys to practice making eye contact more often, start learning to see women for what they are - just people like you and I.

    Dont lower your gaze, dont stare at the ground or look at the sky. Be confident in who you are, look at that attractive girl and just give a casual smile. Tell yourself "she's just a normal person like I am".
     
    letter, ivanhoe, alfianlight and 3 others like this.
  11. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah just keep practicing guys, eye contact is great!

    On one longer streak I was lost at Uni trying to find an exam room, walked up to a whole class waiting outside their room and just addressed everyone asking if they knew where this room was lol.

    My point is, normally I would have been worried they might think I'm an idiot for being lost, but that time there was just no filter. These people might know, I'll ask them! (and yes they were cool, half had no idea either, a few pointed me in the right direction)

    This is the basic stuff that socially disconnected people (who are connected to their devices instead) are finding a challenge these days.

    Put your phone in your pocket, walk tall. Look people in the eye as you walk past. Don't look down unless you think you're about to trip over.
     
  12. N1[] @|_

    N1[] @|_ Fapstronaut

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    Bro, I don't think we've got problems with talking to girls or" seeing them as they really are" and stuff

    Or at least me personally, I have to travel 40 km in van full of girls and I'm the only guy! Im serious
    I'm comfortable with girls. Its just when a you see a girl you've never seen before in an outfit which we find triggering due to all the disgusting porn we've watched, we tend to find it difficult to keep our mind from wandering off to you know where...

    If its someone you know I hardly doubt that would be a problem for me...
    Still you're right... We should be able to see them with pure eyes. That's one of the big reasons why I even started this journey.
     
  13. Xhiddy

    Xhiddy Fapstronaut
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    There's always gonnA be triggers. I think we should face them head on and realise that they are only harmful because we have associated them for a while with some PMO. Don't be afraid being triggered, try you best to find another response to it. Like some have said here, you could strike up a conversation, if in the gym, you do more sets (arousal is energy use it wisely). With enough time, you will break the association.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  14. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    I am in the same boat. And it’s very discouraging. I can’t focus very well when I’m around them. I try to look away and not think and stare. But I’m very discouraged it’s been this long and I can’t get over this. I’m wondering if I’m too messed up to be fixed. I don’t even usually think of me having sex with them. But P use has trained me to just MO to looking at them. Such as pictures of them or seeing them with another man. P trains us to want to watch. I don’t want to watch, I want to DO.

    I want to be the alpha male in control. Not watching.

    I’m loosing hope. It’s getting to be warmer now. Yoga pants, short shorts, and dresses will be everywhere.

    I feel sometimes, or most of the time. I want to escape which is why I have the desire to ‘act out’. Not because I’m really horny.
     
  15. a big part of it is our fault, but I do feel women do not appreciate what they do to us.

    nice weather i guess means we really should just channel our energy into exercise and getting fit
     
  16. I know this well. I am on a warm place where girls dress very light and it’s a trigger constantly. For me it’s a training to allow arousal to happen and trigger to kick in and to let it go again. Not seeking it and eventually I can often just see them normal recognice how hot they are without being affected (except today]. Main thing for me is to take the fight against it out which makes it super hard and my cock too because the strong no goes straight in my cock
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 9, 2019
  17. Some days will be more difficult than others. Stay strong.
     
  18. First don't worry you're normal.
    As others have said, just about every single guy on this forum, at least straight guys, have been triggered by this. This clothing is MADE to trigger you. Girls may not admit it, and they may (righttfully) claim they are not wearing it to trigger you but - even many of the manufacturers claim it lifts and shapes their hips and butts for a 'sexier silhouette' - in fact a lot of times a girl's ass is nicer is yoga pants than naked - its smooths the lines and emphasizes the shapes.

    ok that said - I developed an extreme fetish about these and i can say over the years it damaged my ability to have normal relationships with women - I got so obsessed, i'd jump on anything with yoga pants and if a nice girl who 'd make a good partner didn't wear them I became uninterested in her.. even first dates.. oh no 'ass pants' see you later..

    Yeah it was stupid and unhealthy.

    As others have said, look up - if you pmo or mo or fmo about them try to take a long break..

    During successful streaks (and as you can see I have had a lot of them but never fully healed - still working on that) - I played a game with myself how many nice asses could I AVOID looking at - it seems silly but it became a little challenge for me... and I'd feel good after I avoided looking. I avoid looking - i win - the 'siren' (in the mythological sense) doesn't lure me to the rocks...

    Think about it - why look at something and trigger yourself (get yourself sexually worked up) and not have any means to fulfill it - then you get home, get isolated and your brain looks for anyway to get that dopamine hit - so when i was obsessed I would come home and PMO or FMO (fantasy -masturbation-orgasm) but it soon escalted and I didn't have the girl in yoga pants in front of me so i'd look for all sorts of other stuff to get off.

    There's also a lot of excellent advice on this thread about looking in a girl's eyes, treating her like another human - and who knows - you may find that intrigues them - they might get frustrated and disappointed their feminine charms aren''t turning you into a cuck.
     
  19. Re girls in yoga pants.

    Yes, this is a potential trigger for sure.

    Hard to train the mind in early stages.

    While a very good suggestion, one cannot always look every girl in yoga pants in the eyes- practical limitations if you’re walking behind someone!

    What I find useful is the analogy of any woman dressed provocatively to eye candy.

    When you eat at a buffet, you have to be careful to not fill your plate up with just candy/dessert/sweets but focus on the main course that’s going to fill you up with nutritious food.

    As @ivanhoe noted, whether intentional or not, this kind of attire excites and titillates many men’s minds. The only solution I’ve found, in addition to all the other good advice about visualizing those women as real human beings, making eye contact, talking to them if appropriate, is the constant mental reminder that this is a titillating non-satisfying eye-candy mental image.

    In time, with nofap, the excitement wanes. I see hundreds of butts everyday at the university. Surfeit has a dulling effect sometimes.

    Personally I think it is ignorant and inappropriate to wear clothing intended for the gym or bedroom in public and although this is a unpopular viewpoint, I am not ashamed to hold it. Yes, the onus is on men to not get titillated, but I also don’t respect a woman who dresses without thinking about appropriateness. Modesty used to be a virtue in all cultures and traditions, and for a good reason. There’s a place to dress enticingly- in the bedroom for your man, and there’s a place to dress sensibly where other men will see you. In our eagerness to appear PC we throw all common sense out the window. But I wouldn’t tell this to any woman who dresses like that because they’re not going to get it anyway (just see how the mom at Notre Dame got burned for her comments!). So it is we men who have to man up and control our eyes and thoughts.
     
  20. N1[] @|_

    N1[] @|_ Fapstronaut

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    I couldn't have said it better myself

    And just so you know, I share the same view point about girls wearing appropriate clothes

    It's ridiculous how they make the argument about "its our comfort, our choice"
    Well if we guys were to do the same thing, we'd just wear boxers and shorts everywhere!
    I'd love to see just how people will react to that.
    Of course because we have our dignity and pride we won't do that
    But in alot of places in Southern India, (my home)
    I can't tell you how many cases ive seen of guys being caught for wearing "low waist" jeans but I have never seen a girl caught for wearing clothes much more revealing

    This is just basic science!
    The male brain is designed to be triggered through visual cues! It's our nature! Something none of us can change
    And these women who dress inappropriately are screwing with that weakness

    Women are not triggered by visual cues. Sure when they see a cute guy they'll want to look at him but, the extent to which seeing a hot a girl in revealing clothes effects us guys is several times more intense than theirs!
    That's something they just don't understand or just don't care about
    This is something science backs up

    I just you to know, I support your opinion even though as ypu said it is an unpopular one!
     

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