guys i thought i could share this post on my journal so what do you think

here i go again and my journey begins once more. i had long streaks here and there of 19,20,14,11,12,8 but i have been falling back these past few days. i failed these long streaks cause i had no motivation or purpose for it now i seen what porn has done to me.
it has crippled my brain and my social nature.porn destroys the lives of millions of kids and adults alike minute by minute it rewires your brain if i stop now porn wins if i relapse even after a short streak like 3 days and i just quit and say no more,then porn wins but if i relapse but keep on going no matter what then your brain will see how hard you're working and a part of it will start working to form the new you after a number of days,but if i give up now i'll just keep on being that guy browsing p sites and says that nofap isn't for him and hopelessness and addictions are his destiny,
but if i work hard both mentally and physically to beat this no matter the ways, then one day i'm gonna stand on top of the cliff that i was climbing for 4 years to escape the hellhole of porn addiction and i'm gonna look back and say WOW i've made it but the truth is i still haven't beat the addiction mentally so i'm on a steep slope on top off the cliff and whenever i think of relapsing i keep on slipping and stumbling getting closer to that hellhole but if i give up this cycle will never end and i'll be in my 40's or 30's or 20's with a low self esteem that i grew up with thanks to porn.
i'll end up randomly crying on the street asking god why he is so unfair to me and what i did to deserve this but that's if i give up,but if i keep on resisting and being defiant to the end i'll be free and pass the slope and finally breath fresh air free from social anxiety and the sort also when i pass the slope there will be a family a car a beautiful wife a beautiful house lovely children that will treat you like their hero but that is only if you beat this so my brothers fight tooth and nail we shall be free no matter the cost.
i just had this weird vision right after i relapsed it's as if a part of my corrupted brain is trying to save me.

so day 1 after a 3 day weak streak here i go

random quote i invented: mental freedom is something you earn not given