You don't know how it is loving a person so much that it lasts three years. She has the most perfect looks I've ever experienced. We don't have any contact, she even doesn't know of my existence. I only accidentally (I am not a stalking idiot) stumble on her profile pic on Facebook. Seeing her with her boyfriend crushes my heart. It gives me the energy of hate, I feel like I've lost everything. Since 3 years she determines how I am feeling. Since 3 years i am more and more worse in school. Since 3 years i never felt inner peace and true happiness. Since 3 years i can't laugh easily (expect I am smoking weed, then it's like before that shit happened). I've lost myself, I don't recognize myself anymore, I don't like what I have become. Since 3 years i got to think about her everyday. I will love her forever. But this shall stop. I must become what I used to be. Motivated, funny and crazy. Not lethargic, boring and depressed, full filled with pure hatred and misanthropy. Obviously I don't want any therapist because money and no time (school). I want to travel deep inside me and to solve the problem out of the inside. I want to unravel a knot. But how? Lucid dreaming? Meditation? Hypnosis? Please tell me HOW?