Help im really really upset

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ohpleasehelp, Jun 30, 2020.

  1. ohpleasehelp

    ohpleasehelp Fapstronaut

    7
    3
    3
    First of all I'm sorry if I offend anyone, I have no intention to. I have been watching porn ever since i was 11 or 12(I forgot when) and its progressively gotten worse. I started looking at trap hentai and later shemale porn, and I have a girlfriend. I was told that these would fade away once I quit porn and stopped masturbation. They worrying part is I see some people say if you have a desire to have sex with someone like this in real life it won't go away. I really don't want that. I really love my girlfriend and I really want to stay with her for ever and ever. I first started obsessing that I was gay, even though gay porn never did anything for me, and I don't and never have Liked guys. I only liked girls and at first only watched straight porn. I had dreams of having sex with transgender people and other dudes, but dreams don't mean anything right? The transgender dreams left me wanting to have sex with transgenders in real life, but is that just a byproduct of the porn induced fetish? Please this is really getting on my nerves and its causing me extreme anxiety and depression, it is so bad. I still get aroused when I'm with my girlfriend and when I think of doing sexual things with her. Sometimes I think I don't want to have sex with transgender people but sometimes I do, its a back and forth and when I think of transgender people and sex I don't get a boner or groinal response really, but I still sometimes get the desire to have sex with them. If I quit porn and masturbation, but not sexual acts with my girlfriend, will these thoughts go away? please respond as soon as possible I really love my girlfriend so much and I don't want to lose her, I really really really don't and it makes me really sad. I just want to live happily ever and ever with my girlfriend, without thoughts of having sex with transgender people. I don't have anything against anyone and I'm really sorry if I offended anyone.
    edit: I should mention that when I'm not as anxious I'm not opposed to sexual intercourse with a transgender woman though when I think about it I get anxious. is the anxiety making me think I like it? I don't want to be attracted to that. I've also quit porn for about a week
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2020
    nirav2696 and FlowingSaiyan like this.
  2. jt850

    jt850 Fapstronaut

    51
    60
    18
    Porn addiction can change sexual taste. And yes this can be reversed. You are not doomed to be forever attracted to the porn you’ve watched. Porn addiction recovery takes time. But this is not abnormal for an addict and it’s going to be frustrating and hard but I promise you can get through this. Email me at [email protected] and we can chat more.
     
  3. Arnuld

    Arnuld Fapstronaut

    302
    455
    63
    You are suffering from classic escalation. Neurons that fire together wire together. So masturbating to anything can change your brain chemistry in relationship to it. When this doesn’t match up with who you are both morally and emotionally and does not match up with your real life sexual preferences, it can lead to shame, confusion, intrusive thoughts, and eventually obsessive compulsion.
    Your best bet is to stop looking at and jerking off to porn for AWHILE and hopefully permanently. You need a brain reboot.
     
    FlowingSaiyan likes this.
  4. ohpleasehelp

    ohpleasehelp Fapstronaut

    7
    3
    3
    So even if the attraction to them feels so real its just the porn fucking up my tastes then? Correct me if Im wrong im just really nervous about this
     
  5. Derekale

    Derekale Fapstronaut

    14
    7
    3
    Same boat brotha, I was addicted to foot fetish and haven’t watched that shit in almost a whole year and this is month 7 of hard mode. wow. I’m proud of myself, and still very lost. I still have no idea what my current state is (ed wise), I’m so hurt and am actually extremely fucked in the head mentally, Idk about my ed now but I do remember feeling like it was getting better when I was with my ex girl. but then she fucked my friend because I wouldn’t have sex w her cause my dick was broken so yeah I really don’t want any girl now. I almost cried earlier today bc of this, not that it’s hard it’s just fucking sad that I’m like this and I can’t get any help and no one understands my pain. IF YOU WANT TO GET FAR IN NOFAP READ THIS PART MULTIPLE TIMES -> you need have the energy and you need the willpower, it took me until I wanted to be DEAD than to be pussy slave to the porn industry. Fuck every single person besides yourself and focus on your purpose. I truly wish you the best of luck.
     
  6. ohpleasehelp

    ohpleasehelp Fapstronaut

    7
    3
    3
    So do you still have that fetish though? I want this to disappear from what im attracted too completely, Like people say that it doesnt match up emotionally and mentally but the thing is, I think of them as women, and the only thing is I want to try anal sex with them, I don't want to be penetrated and thats what im worried about. If I cant stop being attracted tothem and if itll interfere with my gf and i
     
  7. Derekale

    Derekale Fapstronaut

    14
    7
    3
    No I don’t, I basically never think about it, at the same time I don’t feel any real strong sexual attraction to anything. Like I know I used to be sexually attracted to normal shit and I know I used to be sexually attracted to feet and now I’m just here, like I barely remember what actually orgasming feels like. The only time I do orgasm is in my wet dreams but they rarely happen (5 in 7mo) and I strive for those cause I can still feel the orgasm as it wakes me up and then it’s just like well I came, I’m kinda horny now I want more but it’s like even though I’m horny what’s actually going to get me off? sometimes it feels like nothing and that’s what’s really hard about this. I don’t know what to do anymore and my past experiences with not being able to get hard is just fucking embarrassing and you don’t want to try to even have sex again after that, like the first girl I was talking to thought I was gay cus I didn’t get hard when she sucked my dick.
     
  8. ohpleasehelp

    ohpleasehelp Fapstronaut

    7
    3
    3
    I dont think im in as far as you because I can still get hard when Im with my grirlfriend and have intercourse, but I should quit masturbation and porn for good
     
  9. GrandRising

    GrandRising Fapstronaut

    17
    16
    3
    Hey man, how old are you?

    I ask because I went through some similar stuff from 20 - 24. I'm 26 now. I had persistent anxiety about whether I was gay. And I was smoking weed at the time and it made it a lot worse. I became very paranoid.

    What I wanted to add is that if you are young, this episode can also be a byproduct of finding your identity. I'm not at all discounting the pornography addiction part, because I definitely believe it has warped your tastes and opened up a sort of 'Pandora's box' if you will. What I mean is that your brain has felt attraction to all sorts of things while watching porn. In fact you have probably felt the most extreme attraction episodes while watching porn and engaging in your porn-induced fetishes. So this naturally pushes your brain to go, "Well how can I get that same massive hit again?". It knows that last time it was from stuff that was extreme and/or off-limits so to speak. Therefore, it will push you towards extreme thoughts and compulsions to achieve that.

    A reboot will 100% help. It will take some time so be patient. To my first point though, I also believe some of what you're going through is age-related. You're trying to find your sexual identity - and porn has made that a lot more confusing and warped.

    There's nothing wrong with your reaction to all this though and you will find your way through it. It's a very tough online sexual landscape we find ourselves in. I'm glad you have a girlfriend that you love, too!
     
  10. sam30

    sam30 Fapstronaut

    86
    78
    18
    i am addicted to foot fetish whenever i see a massage parlour girl standing outside it makes me want to go and ask them whether they will do it. OH this is bad. Someone please help me
     
  11. Derekale

    Derekale Fapstronaut

    14
    7
    3
    Why are you jerking off to trans porn if you can literally have sex with your girlfriend
     
  12. Arnuld

    Arnuld Fapstronaut

    302
    455
    63
    Why does anyone jerk off to anything when they have access to regular sex is liking asking a drug addict why they do coke when there is a cold craft beer in the fridge. Now that craft beer is beautiful and tasty and highly satisfying. But it does not get you high. It does not make your brain bleed dopamine. And once that reward center gets damaged enough it wants the drugs. In our case porn and extreme genres of porn.
     
    GrandRising likes this.
  13. Derekale

    Derekale Fapstronaut

    14
    7
    3
    Well eh kinda, like if he’s attracted to his girl and can have sex with her then why jerk off to trans porn obviously a coke head is going to choose the coke but if she’s there and there’s no problems physically then it shouldn’t be a second thought to why it would even cross mind to jerk off to trans. I mean idk it just doesn’t make sense to me cause like I know I have completely fucked my brain so it must not be the same for me but like if I could have sex like any normal 19 year old should then I wouldn’t be typing this right now
     
    Arnuld likes this.
  14. Arnuld

    Arnuld Fapstronaut

    302
    455
    63
    Its crazy how bad porn can fuck up your brain.
     
  15. 5adn8m8

    5adn8m8 Fapstronaut

    264
    336
    63
    Watching porn and getting aroused with abnormal contents has a completely different brain function from that of vanilla sex. It means that you can get aroused with those stuff when you watch them online but when it comes to real life you don't wanna do it and if you did you wouldn't enjoy it. (You wanna read about it more? here's the link to an interesting thread which discusses the same stuff:https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...porn-star-the-truth-about-ed-fetishes.277475/). Many of fapstronauts here don't know about this phenomenon and this causes them tremendous stress and anxiety. Eventually they have to deal with HOCD. The good news is that you CAN rewire your brain.
    The truth is that no matter how many days you stay porn free, if you don't do anything to rewire your brain, there's always a chance that you go back to compulsive PMO. So stop counting days and make the days count. Do daily meditation, write journals and have an introspection routine. Keep your motivations in check. An innocent photo can lead you to PMO. It doesn't matter what it is. If it pleases sexually and it's online then stay away from it.
    Hope this helps.
     
  16. Derekale

    Derekale Fapstronaut

    14
    7
    3
    I feel like I’ve gotten far enough to the point where I should be rewiring now. I just don’t know exactly how to go about it like should I get a girl and start talking to her and and trying to get comfortable etc basic shit then have sex? (That might be a little hard cause I’m not talking to anyone) or should I just try to have sex with a girl?(this isn’t ideal but I know bitches who want to fuck)
     
  17. Having sex with somebody close to you while still being an addict poses a terrifying risk. An addict can't imagine that sex with your loved one after freeing oneself from addiction and sex with your loved one while still fighting addiction are two completely different things, and they also feel differently.
    Simply speaking:
    -sex in addiction = your loved one is being used by you (you feel pleasure)
    -sex in freedom = you feel like you're one with your loved one (you feel and SHARE pleasure)
    I'm talking from my own experience, because I was in full addiction even after marriage. When I finally decided to become free, I was amazed by the difference.

    I like using two different names for this kind of intercourses:
    -sex in addiction, with a prostitute, doll = making sex
    -sex in freedom, only with your loved one = making love
     
    GrandRising likes this.
  18. Hardwork11

    Hardwork11 Fapstronaut

    5
    3
    3
    I have fking dreams of me having sex with trannies every other week do i want to have sex with tranny in real life the answer is BIG NO.
    Let the dreams be dreams .
     

Share This Page