Help me

Find it in your conscience to make a commitment to never watch porn again. If you have urges that you cannot control, then try masturbating without porn at first. Realize that changes like this will take time to manifest completely, thus you will need to be patient with yourself. In my own case, I started by installing a porn blocker and took up a couple hobbies (reading and guitar). After my first 5-6 weeks of abstinence I noticed I was thinking about PMO less often and the urges started to fade away. If you want any other suggestions, try to be as specific as you can, otherwise I wish you luck and hope things improve for you. All the best!

 

Hey bro, welcome. If you want to stop with that sh*t, you are in the right place. Porn and masturbation are only pain reliefs, fake pleasures. Live is full of good things and when we are immerse in PMO we are blind.

I will give you some tips that our good bro @D . J . gives in his journal.

1. Delete all of the P that you have from your computer and smartphone including the browser history and cookies. This will not stop you but will slow you down.
   
   
2. Identify your triggers. What are the things that you happening in your world to cause you to turn to PMO for escape and comfort! This is the most crucial step in the process.
   
   
3. Once your triggers are identified, determine healthy ways of dealing with those triggers such as exercise, running, leaving the stressful situation and going outside for air.
   
   
4. Follow this link to find out what NoFap is about. Within this link is a link to a glossary of terms commonly used on NoFap. This will help you communicate knowledgeably and more effectively. https://www.NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/newbies-list-of-rebooting-resources.50878/
   
   
5. Go to http://yourbrainonporn.com/ to learn more about the effect PMO has on you. Do this also to educate yourself on the damage you are doing to yourself.
   
   
6. Guard your eyes. Be careful of what you allow yourself to see. No, you cannot live with your eyes closed but you can determine how long you look at something. If you know it may cause you to fall, flee from it! Run in the other direction, sometimes that need to be literal.
   
   
7. Stop placing yourself in situations where the situation has leverage over you. That means stop placing yourself where you know you may get weak and either give in at the moment or later on.
   
   
8. When you see yourself beginning to be in a bad situation (ex. alone with a computer and horny), say what you feel or know you are about to do or likely to do so you can hear yourself say it. (Ex. "I'm alone in a room [with a computer] and I'm feeling lonely [or whatever the emotion is] and horny and I want to [watch watch porn and] masturbate but if I do that, I will have lost the progress I've made". By hearing you say what you are about to do, you may realize the price you pay is not worth what you will receive in return.
   
   
9. Masturbation... do not keep your hands to yourself. Unless you are bathing, changing your underwear or actually using the bathroom, your hands should be nowhere near your penis. YOU ARE BANNED FROM TOUCHING YOUR PENIS FOR RECREATION!!! IT IS NOT A TOY!!!
   
   
10. Your bed is limited to only the time you are sleeuping. No laying in bed other than that. As soon you awake, you should get out of bed. Can't sleep, if awake for more than a few minutes, get out of bed until you are sleepy enough to go to sleep.
    
    
11. Keep doors open unless necessary. You need to be isolated as little as possible. You're less likely to M when people can see you.
    
    
12. Keep curtains and blinds open as much as possible. Similar reason as above and also allows light inside. Many time M'ing is more likely in dark places.
    
    
13. At night, keep lights on as often as possible. Similar to above, lights on may lessen your desire to fap.
    
    
14. If you are a naked sleeper or a boxer sleeper, consider sleeping in a in jockstrap, cup or briefs or compression shorts, something more constrictive so that you are less likely to feel movement while falling asleep or when awaking. They may provide a better barrier to prevent those that subconsciously reach for their penis at night or in the morning. They may also be a visual barrier for those that have morning erections too irresistible to not touch.
    
    
15. If you have a faith, lean into it. Allow it to strengthen you in times of weakness. Many of us have gained strength in our weakest moments due to our faith.
    
    
16. Never agree with your temptation. (from @mvp35lusanity)
    
    
17. Begin a journal so that others can encourage you and connect with you.
    
    
18. Become active in this community. The more active you are, the less time you will spend focused on you. The less time focused solely on you, the faster time goes. There is an old saying, "a watched pot of water doesn't boil any faster", which means for this example, focusing solely on yourself and your issues won't make them go away sooner. It's OK to track progress but when spending more time doing other things that were once important to you and encouraging others, you will notice the time of your sobriety will go so much faster than if you didn't.
    
    
19. Consider joining a group. Allow those with your same interests you give you additional strength. Consider asking for an accountability partner. We in the forum will help you but some may become stronger with one or a few to keep them accountable.
    
    
20. Remember that whatever you feed will grow and whatever you starve will eventually die! Each time you PMO you feed the addiction, each time you resist, you starve the addiction.
    
    
21. [Advice and rant] Along your journey, reflect back to who you were but don't go backwards! What I mean is don't fight to gain a week or a month or 6 months sobriety then waste the progress by "checking to see if my penis still works because I've been flatlining [refer to glossary] and I haven't been horny in awhile". Really? That is only a lie you are telling yourself to MO. If it didn't work, you would feel nothing at all, even when urinating. Seriously! You cannot have it both ways! You cannot complain when you are always horny and then complain when your not horny at all. Consider it a NoFap resting station. Keep moving forward.
    
    
22. Similarly, don't decide to "watch P to see if you are still affected by it! If you have been watching P for a year... 5 years... 10, 20. 30 years, what makes you think being sober for a week to 6 months is going to override all of the years you've been watching P. Think about it! [Note: For those of you who are new to this forum, the previous two may be lies you tell yourself while in recovery. These two may seem crazy and you may think this is common sense but too many have admitted to one of or both of these situations. This is how powerful the addiction can be. Don't allow yourself to fall into this trap of the enemy called a brain addicted to PMO].
    
    
23. PMO is not a need; it is not analogous to our needs for sex and relationships and food. PMO is an addiction; a drug. It is an artificial construct; asimulation designed to hijack our brain.
    The fact that there is no single "physical substance" only makes PMO more dangerous. The physical substance being abused in the case of PMO is our brain.
    That said, we will NOT allow our brain to be abused by the pornography industry. We will NOT crave the company of pixels over our friends and families. We will NOT be a slave to witless desires that ruin our relationships and stunt our personal and professional growth. We will NOT stop yearning, striving and persevering again PMO. (from @Tomato_Bisque)
    

This a journey. Unless you began your addiction yesterday, don't expect to have complete victory by tomorrow. It takes time. We are here for you for as long as it takes.
Your triggers will be those things that occur and you find yourself wanting to turn to PMO for escape and comfort. There are visual triggers that may be avoided but the emotional triggers are much more difficult to avoid. Here are some common emotional triggers:

• Laziness
  
  
• Fear
  
  
• Hunger
  
  
• Anger/ aggravation / frustration
  
  
• Lonliness
  
  
• Tiredness
  
  
• Depression
  
  
• Inebriation
  
  
• Depression
  
  
• General stress
  
  
• Need for control/ feeling out of control or loss of control
  
  
• Boredom
  
  
• Helplessness
  

If you need someone to talk, feel free to ask me

 

1. cold showers
2. meditation
3. distraction is key when you get an urge go for a walk watch a show get out of the house something. watch "the marshmallow experiment" take note of the successful kids vs the non successful kids
4. ice dick have an urge get a disposable cup fill it with ice and water dump your dick in there can sub for a cold shower in a pinch.
5.start exercising it helps with urges and makes you feel better about yourself.
6. find the root cause. when you have an urge write in a journal or note pad. doing that has helped me discover i get urges when I'm stressed, bored, sad, hungry, and procrastinating.
7. join a support group if you are interested i am part of a militaristic style support group and we need more people. we have a group on telegram before clicking link make sure you have telegram app its free. https://telegram.me/joinchat/CS0JvD_--61jTRLVjw-1cg We communicate mainly through telegram and are 30 strong on that platform. you will need to download telegram app.we have people from all over the world and different timezones so calls for help would get answered.
we conduct wars kind of like accountability game between us and other reddit groups. there is nine days left in this current war and we are currently on top. i have a 23 day streak which i could have not done without this group. we are located at reddit heirs of the sun. we need new members we are about 30 active members. we have a 71 page manual that has lots of tips for success and a member currently working on a book.