HELP

Hi man,

I know it might not be much but...
I also had thoughts like that.
I decided I want to quit porn when I was 20. I'm 25 and still here. However, this does not mean that nothing has changed in my life over this time. In fact, I'm literally a different person. And this was because the decision to quit porn was also a decision to improve myself, little by little, step by step.
Eventually, I will win this fight. And you will too. Just remember - it's a long one.
Can I ask you, what do you think was a poor choice in your life? I've had plenty stupid and bad ideas too.

 

Hey man welcome!

Take a deep breath. Use your breath as your anchor. Then look at your situation critically and honestly:

• Not able to abstain properly? Look at what has lead you up to that place.
  Look at whether you truly, truly, deep inside, want to abstain.
  Look at what habits, what behaviours, what environments have enabled that.
  Then look at what you can do to fix them.
• Poor choices? We all make them, don't put yourself down for it. Learn from them.
  Learn from them and make sure you don'tt repeat them in the future.
  Our mistakes are what makes us at the end of the day.
• Depressed? Is it related to situational matter, i.e. what your life is like, or is it more of a neurochemical reason?
  If it's the former then maybe consult a therapist. If not, then just looking into resolving the issues in your life can help.

Easier said than done. But none of us on this planet are incapable of at least trying to change our life for the better. The most important thing is that we look deep, deep down into who we really are and who we really want to be, being honest every step along the way. Then looking at how we can genuinely going towards what we want.

It'll get better. Treat this as dirt. Every seed needs dirt to grow, without it's just a seed. Dirt is what gives you the strength to grow. Use this as your dirt.
(Steve Harvey analogy, not mine)

 

You are responsible for everything you do, indeed, but don't let your mind distort the reality - it's not that bad at all.

 

@Recovering_Addict makes a great point about habits and environment.

Maybe it's not about resisting with sheer will power? Take a deep breath, take a step back, think about what happened.

And you don't have to figure everything out by yourself man. I know it sounds cliche but you have us. Ask questions, talk to us, read our journals. We will share our notes to see you get up and become a better person.

And what if you fall again? Well, you get up again.

 

wildfires I really like your quote at the bottom, really cool

 

Thanks man. That's one of very few things I actually came up with by myself

 

@Wildfires mentioned something I forgot to say and is absolutely CRUCIAL for recovery from pornography addiction. And that is that you don't have to figure everything out by yourself.

I can't stress just how important that is. Sometimes we CAN'T figure it out by ourselves. Why? Because this is an addiction and you can't fix an addiction with an addicted mind. The addicted mind will just keep rationalizing itself forever and ever until it can't anymore - until you hit rock bottom. Some of us may be able to overcome that, but I don't think most, especially those who have been suffering from pornography addiction for a long time, can.

That is why it is so so so important to talk to people on this site and just people in general that you can trust. They can see your faults where you can't. They can where your addicted mind is taking control where you just simply can't. So yeah, people are really one of the greatest tools we have in this recovery process.


And to add to what @Wildfires said at the end:

"If you fall make sure you fall on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up."

(Les Brown)

 

Hey bro, i know its hard. I know sometimes we just feel like throw in the towel and quit, but we can't. And 3 weeks is insane, don't give up just like that, if you was able to reach that streak i'm sure if you keep trying you will DO IT. If you need anything just PM me, wish you strength.