Here goes nothing. day 1

A little about myself, I am 24 about to turn 25 soon and I have been faping everyday at least 3 times since the age of 12. 5 times maybe on days off. I feel drained, depressed and get very shy around girls. Shy as in I literally cannot speak and panic, words do not come out. It has affected me a lot, till a point that I get paranoid about having a personality disorder as I just cannot speak to people which affects a lot of my relationships. Life has really sucked since high school and I feel as if I have missed out on a lot of opportunity because I get shy. My confidence is not there. This was until last week.

Now I was told about this web site and did come across NoFap a few years ago but I thought it was bs. Until last week that is. My good friend that does psychology has noticed my strange personality and kindly subliminally has been telling me to stop. This guy literally, randomly tells me to stop drinking (his way of telling me to stop fappig as I don't drink, yes it took me a while to figure out). But that was his way of telling me to stop the act. Now a week ago I decided to stop and I can honestly say it has been the bestest week I've had in a very long time. I could feel myself being more energetic and confident with who I am. I met a few girls and I would talk about anything and everything, I was still shy but hey words were coming out. I mean literally a few weeks back I was quite as a mouse and even though the conversation wasn't great I was talking! which was damn great! but unfortunately at the end of the week I relapsed. Which kinda sucks as it's only been around a hour since my relapse, yes.. sad. So I decided to sign up to the forum. Keep a track of my future progression, self motivation and motivation for others.

I hope this post allows other newbies just like myself that feel lost, beat up, no confidence, loner, you name it, to also find the courage to stop. Watching porn has affected me a lot and all the names I've mentioned is exactly how I've felt for the past 5 years. I'm 24 and I feel like I've wasted a lot of time. Even in uni when I should have been out socialising, meeting new people I wasn't. This has really affected me and the relations I've had with amazing females in the past. I've literally felt like shit with my porn addiction to a point where I know it's become an issue that's starting to affect my life. So now I'm putting an end to it. I mean I have nothing to lose so.. here goes nothing.