Here goes to day 1

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by ishee, Mar 23, 2021.

  1. ishee

    ishee Fapstronaut

    Its been four years since trying to quit porn. Here goes to Day 1. The counter will start at 00:00 24/03/2021. Damage has been done by porn. Very heavy porn user. Average 5 times a day but since getting desensitise porn use has decreased as I am not letting myself escalate to different porn genres. God bless and see you on the other side. Here goes to 90 days. I am very badly desensitise so recovery going to be a challenge. I am done with porn for life. It ruined me. It going to be a very tough road ahead. I have to learn to do things again such as learning to reading and writing again, creating a schedule, exercising etc. My brain does not work the way it used to. I knew before porn I was smart, but took the wrong root to destruction. No more sympathy. I sadly cannot undo the past but I will try my very best to beat this addiction before I die cuz life is worth living without porn. I am quitting porn, tv shows, movies, music, games and YouTube(only be using it for education) for 90 days. Debating whether to install porn blockers. Hope everyone quits one day. My journey begins again for the 1000th time but this time I am quitting for a reason and this reason is because I want to live a life without porn and be free for once. Its okay to cry and let the pain go away. Dont hold on to it for too long else it will drag you down. I am just letting my pain go rather than fighting it. Starting Chapter 1 tomorrow. Time to become change and become a better person. God bless all of you. Cya soon and be updating daily.
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2021
    Different Built, Moopi and Candun like this.
  2. ishee

    ishee Fapstronaut

    Feeling empty and sad
     
  3. stillsmile

    stillsmile Fapstronaut

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    I wish you luck in your journey. May I ask what kind of habits you are wanting to persue? I have attempted previously to avoid similar things as yourself, but the hole left behind by them makes living very difficult. I am currently focused on changing my life with positive habits I want in my life then make me feel better everyday.
    Someone recommended a book on here called 'Atomic Habits', it may be helpful in building safer, less destructive behaviours.
    If you ever fancy a chat feel free to PM me.
     
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  4. ishee

    ishee Fapstronaut

    I created a contract with myself and signed it and made punishments to go with it.

    My habits are the following:
    · MUST LOSE WEIGHT
    · MUST COMPLETE THE 90 DAYS CHALLENGE
    · MUST EAT HEALTHY
    · MUST STOP PROCRASTINATING
    · MUST LEARN TO READ AND WRITE
    · MUST STUDY ATLEAST 10 HOURS EVERY DAY
    · MUST STOP OVEREATING
    · MUST SLEEP FOR ATLEAST 8 HOURS EVERYDAY
    · MUST STOP WATCHING TV SHOWS + MOVIES
    · MUST STOP WASTING TIME EVERYDAY

    TO DO LIST
    Health + Nutrition

    · No junk food
    · No oversleeping
    · No overeating
    · Workout six times a week
    · Run for 30 minutes everyday
    · Sleep for 8 hours everyday
    · Meditate for 1 hour.
    · Eat three meals
    · Do intermit fasting
    · Drink 1 gallon of water everyday
    · Take your vitamin
    · Cut sugar out of your life
    · Take protein shake and prework
    · Do 20 minute of Yoga.
    · Shit in the morning every day.
    · Two Cold showers (once in the morning after workout and in the evening after running).
    · Once every two days Epsom salt bath.

    Chores list
    · Make bed
    · Wash your own dishes
    · Hoover bedroom
    · Clean bedroom
    · Clean up your own mess around the house and do leave it to your mother.
    Improvement list
    · No more swearing
    · Do not disrespect your mother.
    · No procrastination (punishment 20 press ups every time procrastinate.)
    · Make a schedule and stick to it.
    · No not follow negative thoughts.
    · Repent for your sins. Pray you become a better person every day.
    Useful resources
    HALT(Hungry, angry, lonely, and tired). These four states you are at weakest . Be very conscious of what is happening. Look at what you are doing.

    These are all the habits I want to implement by the end of the 90 days.
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2021
  5. Inloverber

    Inloverber Fapstronaut

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    This is amazing to read, I wish you well. We are hear to support you in your journey.
     
  6. ishee

    ishee Fapstronaut

    Thanks man. Hope u are doing good. The first few days are the hardest.
     
  7. Sam_ba

    Sam_ba Fapstronaut

    Great list
    Seriously planning to do all at once?
    I find P blockers cool for security and it's good to have a written plan everywhere
    Stay strong we do this together
     
  8. ishee

    ishee Fapstronaut

    Baby steps. Making a to do list and goals for the day. At the end I will achieve everything from the list and remove completed stuff and add new goals to it later.
     
    Sam_ba likes this.
  9. hollyman

    hollyman Fapstronaut

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    kinda lonely to walk this road alone

    this is maybe my 1.000 attempt too so by your permission may i post in this thread too ?
     
  10. ishee

    ishee Fapstronaut

    Sure no problem
     
  11. ishee

    ishee Fapstronaut

    I never thought I would be free for porn. God is good. This time I know what I need to do. Porn has ruined me and my family relationship. Need to fix and heal my relationship with sibling and my mother.
     
  12. stillsmile

    stillsmile Fapstronaut

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    Do you have any support groups/people you can’t take about this stuff to? That’s really helpful to break these habits.
     
  13. ishee

    ishee Fapstronaut

    Found a few groups on telegram.
     
  14. stillsmile

    stillsmile Fapstronaut

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    I would agree with some of the others who have commented. This is a lot to achieve all at once. I understand the desire to want change and better yourself but I worry that this is giving yourself a greater mountain to climb. If you set expectation and goals so high the likelyhood of failure is greater, which can then lead to relapse.

    I am personally concentrating on the journey of getting better and not the goal of being better. I am enjoying finding healthier foods I like to eat that can replace some of the unhealthy. I am enjoying meditating for the first time, by using an app to guide me 5 minutes each day (the app is called Balance by the way and it comes with a free year long membership). Anyway I don't want to waffle on.
    Maybe try to reduce your list to 3 specific things you can do each day at a specific time for an achieveable length of time.
     
  15. ishee

    ishee Fapstronaut

    Taking baby steps as mention above. Doing couples things everyday and then by 90 days I will accomplish everything I set out to.
     
  16. ishee

    ishee Fapstronaut

    Day 1 complete
     
    Sam_ba likes this.
  17. stillsmile

    stillsmile Fapstronaut

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    Apologise I must of missed that.

    Good work.
     
    ishee likes this.
  18. ishee

    ishee Fapstronaut

    One thing I have control over is porn and not choosing to watch it anymore. Its the best decision I made. I believe god will help keep me clean and guide me back to becoming a good person again. I know I have greatess within me just need to change my mindset to beat porn. Rather than fighting the urges I am going to let them pass and train my brain to stop it from manipulating myself. This is the last time I will watch porn cuz it aint worth it anymore. I know the truth now that I did not know before. Hard work is whats gonna take. God bless each and everyone of you. I pray you heal and your mind becomes stronger. Talk tomorrow. Hoping day 2 goes good without intenses urges. I pray god supresses thoses urges. I repent to god and made a promise to myself to never watch porn again cuz god is watching me.
     
    Different Built likes this.
  19. ishee

    ishee Fapstronaut

    Shave my beard and trim my hair. This is the new me. Going to grow a beard to look more manly and growing hair out. This trim and shave is to mark new beginning and forget about the old filthy person I used to be.
     
  20. Different Built

    Different Built Fapstronaut

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    Write that reason in a journal every day. I just relapsed too, and yes it feels hopeless. And this journey is not easy. Not many people try NoFap. Which is exactly why we are doing it. One day at a time man, we can do it
     

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