Homer Strange
Fapstronaut
Hey guys and ladies around the world. So by now you've guessed that my name is actually not Homer Strange. Anyway, for as long as I can remember, I was first exposed to pornography at the age of 10 by a friend. I was so fascinated by it that I started fondling with myself and I liked the feeling I got. It got the point where I would lock myself in the bathroom at home and "fap" to mobile porn because that was the most accessible form to me. Fast forward a few years later and I'm in a boys school- the mecca of pornography, a sort of factory for all things explicit. In grade 8 and 9 my masturbation was pretty much under control but as soon as I shot to 16 it started picking up. By the time I was 17/18 I was masturbating 2-3 a week. Now one would think that when you arrive to university that it's time for the real deal, which I experienced often but not nearly enough as I masturbated. In university I had a roommate who luckily for me at the time was barely around. I got to the point where I would come back from class and squeeze one out, study, squeeze one out, eat, watch a movie, squeeze one out and then squeeze another before bed. Sometimes I'd even bunk lectures just to chill and I'd find myself burning 5 hours out of my day just watching porn. I told myself that I was "training." And it helped dont get me wrong, it was nice when I could have sex with a woman and I'd be able to last more 30 minutes without protection. But somewhere on this journey I lost myself and on a chilled day I'd be masturbating 3 times and a bad day anywhere from 5 to 9 times a day. I never once believed that this behaviour would effect my relationships with woman but boy was I wrong looking at it in hindsight. In 2014 I got my first girlfriend coming out of high school and that relationship lasted 3 months. I'm 23 now and she's still my only girlfriend ever. Down the line I've had about 10 sexual partners and I could have more not to brag because I am considered a handsome man by all accounts, I'm 6'0 dark skinned and athletically built as a result of my lifestyle habit of working out. Funny enough I always get the question why am I single and I always tell people its because I'm enjoying life which is not true at all. As a result of porn( which teachers warned me about) every time I look at a woman I automatically dress her down and think about how having sex with her would feel like. I'm even at the point where I'll be vibing with a perfectly beautiful woman inside and out and I'll pursposefully self sobatage that but when I get back home I'll masturbate over her which is completely fucked up. I sit at the office and all I think about is sex . At the beginning of the year I told myself that i was done. Its October and I'm far from. It seems like the longest time i can go without relapsing is a week or 2. I really hate the fact that I objectify women the way I do and I'm really looking to make a change with that especially because one day I want to be married and have children. I'm hoping that this forum will help me and that maybe I can also help people too when I'm rehabilitated or on the right path at least. I never thought that it would ever get to this point but here I am.
