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Hi!! I am a 20 year old newbie.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Deleted Account, Apr 18, 2018.

  1. Hello Everyone!!
    I am a 20 year old currently studying engineering. My main motivation for joining NoFap is to reboot and get my life in control.
    I have been watching porn since age 12. And yes, it has ruined my life.
    I had gone roughly 7 months without porn 2 years ago. But, that was becuase I had made porn inaccessible.
    However, my current work demands that I remain connected to internet. I tried using Browser extensions, blockers to stop me from using porn but failed miserably within 3 days.

    I currently do strength training and swimming for maintaining my health. I also enjoy studying engineering. But porn and masturbation is holding me back. During days when I don't(or couldn't) masturbate or see porn I thoroughly enjoyed studying. Also, I could lift more weight and swim an extra lap. I could have fullfilling conversations and laughed a lot. I loved everything.

    My addiction is a serious issue for me. Everyday there is 'one incident' which seriously demoralizes me. This makes me miserable afterwards. Also, I know it seriously limits my capabilities. I know I can do much better.
    My triggers are 'feeling bored','after waking up','seeing provocative videos on youtube(youtube recommendations)','when no one is there in my room'.
    I feel sharing with anyone can help me.
    I am open to any suggestion and constructive criticism.
    Thank you.
     
  2. Welcome. Glad you are here.

    Take some time to read the reboot material (available here => http://www.nofap.com/getting-started) and come up with a plan for what you will do when you are faced with urges. It has good advice, so don't skip it! :)

    Perhaps start writing a journal - if you feel comfortable telling people about happened and what's going on now, you will start to feel accountable to them. You may even inspire others. It's a nice feeling! This will help your recovery.

    Also, try to add something into your life that makes you the kind of person who doesn't engage in PMO. Think about doing:
    Something you enjoy
    Something you're good at
    Something important
    Something for somebody else, without thought of reward (and if you DO get an unintended reward, do something ELSE, perhaps for a different person or group).

    Read the journals of others - we all learn from each other. For example, I received the above good advice from a far more experienced member of the community who shared his knowledge. Don't just stay within your own age group or part of the world. Share your knowledge in a respectful way. Read, learn, apply.

    Look around the forums, get to know people. Everyone is friendly, and will try to support you. We're all in the same boat here. :)

    Be kind to others and others will be kind to you, both here and IRL.

    I wish you a successful reboot.
     
    Robbiebob and Inqonyama like this.
  3. Hey @yesicandoit ,

    Welcome to NoFap! You are in the right place.

    I'm just a regular member on here, so take what I say as my experience. I found that I needed to:

    1. Learn the NoFap program.

    2. Get involved with the community.

    The best resource I found was the “Getting Started with NoFap” guide. It is on the NoFap homepage and you can download it for free from this link https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/new-users-list-of-rebooting-resources.50878/

    Then, watch this video:



    It is really good and explains so much about how the blasting of porn images into the brain in high definition on high speed internet while slamming porn sounds into the ears with headphones can literally change the way your brain demands sexual stimulation.

    The video explains it better than I can.

    Also, a great page is https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/new-users-list-of-rebooting-resources.50878/ my experience is that by reading every link and watching every video, I learned so much.

    Then, I got involved with the community. I'm not anyone special on here, I don't have any magic powers. But, I can say hello to new members, post my journal entries, remember to “like” peoples posts, and offer my experience, strength and hope where appropriate.

    Looking forward to seeing you around on the forums,

    --> L

    PS - I Think of pmo like a wolf. When I stay near the center of the group and stay with the winners, the wolf has a more difficult time finding me. But, if I stop working at NoFap and stray near the edges of the community, then the wolf can pick me off.
     
  4. One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program.

    I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work.

    Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:


    @Inqonyama - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/166981/
    ---
    @bartbar - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/163785/
    ---
    @Alikersantti - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155162/
    ---
    @Reverent - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143845/
    ---
    @BigDawg913 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/145872/
    ---
    @kropo82 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/78164/
    ---
    @tet2vd - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144513/
    ---
    @Protagoras - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/109842/
    ---
    @JakeO5 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152940/
    ---

    There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start.

    This is a work in progress. So, if a journal has changed or is no longer active, look around there are some amazing journals on here.

    --> L

    PS - Starting a journal also helped me a great deal.

    The journals are listed by age groups on the forum start page.

    Most members run one journal only. That way both the member and others can go back and look at their journey at a later time.

    Hope to read your journal soon. Also, in your personal details you can put a link to your journal. Then, appears under your avatar.


    -
     
    Deleted Account and Robbiebob like this.
  5. For me NoFap is 1/2 program & 1/2 fellowship.

    Click on these people and post a "hello" on their profiles.

    I've found that the bricks that hold this community together are cemented with the support of the members of the fellowship.

    @Mr.Imperfect
    @Toughboy
    @romlel
    @LeoJohn
    @Gray Wolf
    @StarLightReboot
    @Chriss27
    @ludwig525
    @hoping_cannon
    @SteelshoT
    @reystronaut
    @2525
    @weddingnails

    Look at with whom they exchange messages and you will find more profiles.

    So, if you would have found more profiles yourself, why suggest these particular ones as a start? Those relationships started with just saying hello. So, my ESH is that saying hello has kept the fellowship alive for myself.

    Looking forward to your success and in seeing you say hello on these profiles,

    --> L
     
    Deleted Account and Robbiebob like this.
  6. Thank you!! I will surely watch the videos.
     
  7. Inqonyama

    Inqonyama Fapstronaut

    Hi @yesicandoit welcome and good luck!

    The advice given by @HARP and @StopTheMusic is excellent, and if you find some time just clicking through the journal entries that @StopTheMusic showed can be really inspiring, and can also show you some pitfalls you can learn from.

    I think my triggers have been quite similar to this, for me they stemmed from when I just moved out of my parental home into a new city, and often was quite lonely and bored, which caused me to form this addiction. Luckily, there are some ways to handle all of these things. I can only tell you what worked for me, but perhaps it just might for you too.

    'Feeling bored' I dealt with by simply accepting that I was bored! Being bored is actually not a bad thing, and it can help you into figuring out the things you enjoy. Personally, I took up meditation which really helped me with my boredom (by sitting still in a meditative pose wondering what the hell you are doing you can reach fascinating levels of boredom :p). I personally use the 'calm' app for it, though there are tons of apps and books out there to start. I chose 'calm' because it is actually a quite 'scientifically responsible' app, that doesn't do much of the spiritual stuff, but does have intersting masterclasses from doctors in the field of psychology and behaviour science.

    'After waking up' is a nasty one, and the only way to properly deal with it for me has been to push myself into a morning routine. Showering, getting dressed, simply making adamantly sure that you get your day started!

    'Seeing provocative videos on youtube' I can recognise as well. Here, a combination of self control (not clicking the video with the interesting thumbnail or title) and brute force management (unsubscribing from channels that have those videos) might work. If you are worried on 'missing out' on videos (which is something I had in mind) remind yourself you're doing this voluntarily. You can stop with this program anytime you want and watch all the youtube videos in the world! You are completely in control. But those videos won't go away, so don't worry about that.

    'When no one is there in my room' is one that I felt extremely strongly. My addiction was caused by severe loneliness. One of the best ways to combat that is to find company. Now I realise that finding company can be extremely difficult at times, but remember, the people on here count as company too!

    Little longer than I hoped it would be, but I was on a roll xD. Enjoy your time here!
     
  8. Thank you for a detailed analysis!! Will check out 'calm' app.
     
  9. Robbiebob

    Robbiebob Fapstronaut

    Hi & welcome brother.. .. Wow!!! You have had fantastic input already to get you started & there is not much to say on my part only that you are in the best place for your recovery.. . Can I say also it's great your here... All the best my friend... Rob
     
  10. Inqonyama

    Inqonyama Fapstronaut

    Hey @yesicandoit

    How are you doing? any progress?
    Hope you figure out how to set up the link!
     
  11. Doing fine. Currently have not thought or rather did not have time to think of p/m/o.
    Does flatline occur so early?
     
  12. Protagoras

    Protagoras Fapstronaut

    1,242
    1,635
    143
    Welcome. HERE are some things helping me.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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