I was born in a small town and the first time I had contact with pornography was when I was 14 years old. One day the kids from our neighborhood found a whole stack of uncensored porn magazines. It was quite a shock to see the close-ups body parts. Ever since I saw those magazines I couldn't stop watching porn and masturbating. I developed my skills to stay awake long at night to go to specific websites. I used to do it even when I was staying at friends overnight. I am 30 now and I find myself in the same vicious circle. I realize now that I have to stop once and for all, and there is no way I can go on like this. I lost and missed various things so far: relationships, friends, work opportunities etc. I once succeeded to abstain from masturbation a whole month and was the best time of my life. My deepest wish is to regain that freedom again and live life fully.