One second can change your life, they say. Is it just a truism? You might think that way, however, from one second the universe was born. Still, was that the universe we'd care about? A mixture of shapeless matter? It would make no sense to us. Nevertheless, one thing is certain: one second leads to another, and another, and another. Shapeless is being given shape. Hazy becomes solid. Weak becomes strong. 126,230,400 seconds ago, one second created a new universe. It was far from any sort of epic explosion, no, it could not be further from it. It was a single thought in an insignificant mind of a random person which took a shape of a word: "Enough!" That one second brought another second, which lead to another one and another. Shapeless was being given a new shape. Hazy was becoming solid. Weak was becoming strong. Second by second, unbeknownst to people around, through fire, thorns, ice, and pain a new person was being shaped. It took exactly 126,230,400 seconds for that being to fully emerge in this world. A random being, living in this world for over 25 years, was shaped anew into something more. Something real. Then, one second can change your life. However, it really depends on what you will then do with that one second. Will the universe collapse? It all depends on you. --- It took me four years to finally say this with 99% certainty (sorry, I'm a scientist, so 100% is impossible): I AM FREE! I started my journey 1461 days ago on 10 April. My road to freedom was bumpy at first, I even managed to have a reset because of a minor slip, but I've never failed back to my addiction. After the first 90 days I had enough strength to consciously carry on with my reboot. I was becoming a better version of myself. However, I've finally felt free, and it was complete coincidence, on my fourth anniversary of saying "Enough!". It was an extremely difficult month for me, but the weekend was the time when I was exhausted for the first time in my life to the point of fainting. Why? Well... One of the crucial reasons for winning against my addiction was attending certain weapon martial arts classes. Becoming better and better was giving me strength to carry on, but I've never done anything significant in that area. I was extremely stressed before National Championships. Losing and losing again is irritating, and who knows that better than an ex-addict. I took the challenge finally. I won a lot of fights, I lost a lot of them too, but on the third day of the Championships something broke in me. Have you read the latest chapters of One Piece? Don't worry, I'm not going to spoil anything! The people who have read them know what happened on the last page of chapter 1046. This chapter coincidentally appeared on 10 April, and, God, when I stepped onto the field with my weapon I suddenly understood what that person on the last panel was feeling like! I was calm, exhilarated, fast. I've won everything in a row. I was at the brink of fainting, and I have never felt so alive in my life. I ended up 13th, among the best ones in the country. I've never even considered getting so high in the ranking, but then I've realised: I feel free. That was my true victory. I wanted to share this bizarre experience with everyone still struggling. Second by second, the addiction goes away. Every single second counts, but only the sum of them leads to freedom. I wish all finally feeling the same... feeling as if you were holding a lightning. --- If anyone has questions, feel free to write privately to me. God bless, stay strong!
Awesome stuff, congrats on your ranking! It just shows what we are capable of without this addiction stealing away our energy!
Just pulling your leg man.. you’ve done extremely well for yourself. I’m assuming you still released throughout this time as I saw in your journal that you have a wife. Maybe you can go into a little more detail about that?
A good sign for sure. I guess that as April is a time of rebirth, with the coming of spring, there is much energy available. Previous breakthroughs in my life have occurred in April also Peace
Not to worry abut the joke, thus 'surely' It's more difficult for an addict when you have a wife AND you want to have kids. However, we agreed to one rule: only she could choose when we had sex. That way, for procreative reasons, we had to have longer periods of abstinence in which I could fight against urges. Also, I didn't, even once, focused on P during sex, and man, it was difficult at first. And the chaser effect afterwards was still kicking in, unfortunately. That's why I didn't feel genuinely free after 90 days of no PMO or even 180. So, if I were to choose or give advice, I'd go for a strict NoPMO for 90 days minimum. I know that the periods of abstinence gave me the best results and clearance of mind. If your loved one can agree to that, then go for it. My wife would agree if not for our shared dream of having kids.
Inspiring read indeed spiced with a gift of talented storytelling. I would love to hear more about the man you used to be, the point at which you said enough and the man you have become and also about the challenges you still need to face. I'm sure there is more to the story. Tell us more about what it feels like to be holding a ligtning. My respect.
As a single male, I would think it's easier for you because you have a wife. You could rewire your brain faster with a significant other than someone who does not.
Unfortunately, that's not how addictions work. It's a common misconception among us. An alcoholic, for instance, has to cut himself completely from alcohol. That sounds obvious, because he has to go through the pain of withdrawals. Why isn't it so obvious for us? We should go through the full force of withdrawals of no PMO, otherwise, the process is much slower. Since it's slower, the risk of a relapse rises, because of an ever-rising anxiety telling you that you're still not where you want to be. And, like I said, having sex with your loved one is more difficult when you're actually still learning to, what I like to say, make love instead of doing sex. Life's not easy for us, right?
