Hope it lasts lifelong

In previous times flatlines were so frightening to me
I tortured myself to throw up the shit
But this time it's different
I hope it lasts more
To stay in state of peace of mind
Not fighting or struggling
However i'm emotionally & mentally impotent but for unknown reason i'm feeling internal peace
Hope it's not followed by a catastrophic relapse
Hope it gonna be a new start
Since 15 august & time goes on