I always knew watching excess porno has created an altered reality where I fantasize erotically about women. What are some things to stop fantasizing about women in public? Sometimes it will be from a lady with a short skirt or really tight yoga pants. I can't help but try and lurk at them and it frustrates me and I find it disturbing. Not only that but it increases my heart rate and I can tell it jump starts my adrenaline. Please I need help in controlling these urges! Send any ideas or opinions.
I never realized that fantasizing was a trigger but its a big one for me. I go to the gym and sometimes hit yoga class 3 times a month. I found I was going to the yoga class to check women out instead of focusing on the workout. I had this lady in front of me plant her mat directly in front of me the other day. Needless to say it was almost impossible to concentrate on what I was doing. I got anxious and felt a little shaky and uneasy after because I am realizing that these are triggers for me. The only thing that I could do at the time was to look away when she was bending over in front of me. I want to enjoy the presence of women, just in the right ways and I need to work on differentiating the two. I like your idea about channeling your energy in more positive ways. I have been in hard mode 22 days.
I was one of the long time P users. Had access to a computer and internet at a young age. I was always shy too yes, around attractive women. I'm an attractive athletic person who habitually created this whole other world with porn. I wasn't going out into the world with a loaded gun. Yes, thats very similar. I depended greatly on the use of porn for comfort. Women would approach me all the time and I would shy away. I joined nofap because after reading all the negative effects porn has on people I learned that I related to almost all of these issues that people are sharing. I am definitely kicking this habit for good. There's no turning back and I have lots of positive points to say about it. But it has been a deep seeded issue for me and the more I talk about it and look into it, the more I realize how porn has twisted its fingers into different parts of my life. Its now up to me to slowly release that grip one finger at a time.
In the last 10 years I have been in a 3 1/2 year, 5 year, and 6 month relationship, each with a different girl. All three had no clue I watched porn. It was a secret to all. I couldnt even watch porn with any of my girlfriends because it would scare me to share that secret with anyone. My relationships where full of love and compassion though. Im quitting porn for a lot of reasons and the more time I spend focusing on my goals for quitting the bigger the list gets for quitting. Its unlike anything I have experienced.
Yes there are plenty, the most notable is how more women are entering into my life. Its like I'm putting off this signal out there (that I'm unaware of) that attracting people into my life. I definitely feel like a beast and feel more confident around ladies. The eye contact that I get is mind boggling.
Another thing I realized is how porn has desensitized me into a voyeur. It has been hard to just accept a gorgeous girl in a short skirt that's sitting across the table. Instead I would fantasize about her body, I would loose concentration on the conversation I was having with the person sitting next to me. It would make me feel like a creep and make me feel uneasy. I feel shameful even talking about it because I have so much respect for women yet having watched porn for so long my imagination would link up that rush from porn to women in real life. That part I am unhappy with and its something that I am working on.
i think your mind will come clearer after the first few days. my three first days after a relapse were always nightmares no matter which techniques i used. when your mind gets clearer, use it "next time when you see an attractive or a sexy girl (or a girl in your yoga class), keep looking at focus on ONLY ONE point". for example, she wears a short skirt, keep looking and focusing on "one of her toes" ONLY. if u can't see her toes, then keep looking and focus on "her nose" ONLY. apply the same method on the yoga girl. at first, you might feel uncomfortable a bit, but keep looking as long as possible, don't look away, and then, you will feel something different, trust me key word: one only
i relate to the hidding porn from my GF's thing, I have been in 3-4 relationships and I was hidding my second porn sex life from them. I could have sex with my gf all weekend and I would still crave porn/masturbation. Also once the honeymoon phase of my relationships where done I would have been satisfied with sex only one a week and daily pmo. This must have been frustrating for my gf's and I hate that I never noticed this before
i'm kind of jealous that you guys can fantasize about real girls. I have a real hard time doing that, its like i can only do it with porn or pictures of real girls. It must be because of the way I wired my sexuality at a young age (long time porn user, used porn at least 7 years before my first experience with a girl). I do still look at beautiful woman when I see them and I still stare at their ass but there's zero fantasy going on, i just kinda creepily stare, its like that part of my brain is broken.
