How do you deal with overconfident people?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Namekian23, Mar 28, 2016.

  1. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    So last week, I was hanging out with my friends, and as usual, they bring new people along. However, there was this one Asian guy who was unlike other guy I've met. And I was just curious about the way he was talking and behaving. Has anyone ever dealt with people who are just too cocky? For example, over the years, I developed into a more mature version of myself. I would say I'm more confident in myself than I was 10 years ago (after I dropped out of high school, but still went to college). When it came to girls, it was the same thing, but it took a long time, and I'm still learning.

    I've heard from many people that being yourself is being the best that you are as of now. Your confidence in what you do and behave just comes naturally with people, your job, your health, and so on. Furthermore, when it comes to hanging with your friends, you can make an idiot out of yourself and not even feel bad about it. And they still laugh. But this guy was different. So why do people try to be so overconfident? When does it work and when does it not work?
     
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  2. kk76

    kk76 Fapstronaut

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    Look through the BS he is spouting. If he needs to big himself up then he is lacking in confidence. It is an act
     
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  3. vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

    maybe they tend to act confident to show their strength, make others feel weak, and they feel good about that, narcissistic traits maybe. especially in asian culture, people are afraid of being weak because they're gonna be judged, then they act like everything is ok even it is not, just to earn others' respect. or maybe that guy was just an asshole lol
     
  4. Alex10s

    Alex10s Fapstronaut

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    I really wanna know if overconfident people are fapping.
     
  5. Boomer49

    Boomer49 Fapstronaut

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    Desiderata
    Max Ehrmann, writer and lawyer (1872-1945)

    Go placidly amid the noise and the haste and rememeber what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly. And listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, for they too have their story.

    Avoid loud and aggresive persons, for they are vexatious to the spirit. Never compare yourself with others. You may become vain or bitter, for there will be always greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements, as well as your plans.

    Keep interested in your career, however humble. It is a real possesion in the changing fortunes of life. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is. Many people strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism.

    Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love. For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings, for many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

    Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be there. And whether or not it is clear to you, the universe is unfolding as it should.

    Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be. And whatever your labours and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
     
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  6. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    Now that I look back at it, he may be an asshole, narcissistic, afraid of being weak, or all of the above. Or...maybe neither of those. It wasn't right for me to judge him in the first given the fact that I met him like once. However, I've never seen someone act in that kind of manner. And at the same time, something about him bugged me, that's all. I would rather judge his behavior and actions, NOT him as a whole.

    Having said that, I think it really depends on the person rather than an entire culture or group of people. Not only was he Asian, but the entire group, including myself was Asian. Furthermore, there are a lot of people (from all backgrounds) who try to be overconfident, and you can just tell when you first meet them. My brother has no problem with girls for example; he is a master when it comes to talking chicks. This guy, on the other hand, was not quite the same.

    I guess in the end, you just have to spend more time with them to get to really know them. 3 weeks from now, him and I could be friends lol. Anyway, I kind of get the whole idea about why people tend to be too cocky. It's obvious that they have to prove something to other people, but really, they're not going anywhere.
     
  7. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    I think it was somewhat of an act. Sometimes, things are just plain obvious. What vulture175 said about narcissism is true. People who have these characteristics tend to be jealous more often. For example, he decided to move his chair to the other side of the table and started talking to the girls. There was this one girl that I like, but she was already comfortable with me. By the time she left, she gave me a hug and I even told my other female friend about last Christmas. I asked the girl I liked to go bowling (which she declined). Not only am I friends with her still, but I have her number. When he left, he didn't shake my hand, but did with everyone else's. I guess he's not too fond of me either, but who knows, 3 weeks from now we could be friends.
     
  8. kk76

    kk76 Fapstronaut

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    Why would you want to be?
     
  9. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I get your point; I met the guy like once though. I'll give him another shot at it, and if he goes at it again, then oh well. I'm pretty lenient.
     
  10. onebookperweek

    onebookperweek Fapstronaut

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    In my experience, people act like that due to the fact that they have been made fun of in the past. So, in order to "prevent" that (I actually take a different approach), they try to increase others' perception of him/herself, so that he or she will not be made fun of.
     
    Namekian23 likes this.
  11. You don't deal with people like that. You deal with yourself. It might be who he is, or he might be faking it. But either way he is acting the way he is, for whatever reason, which is irrelevant in my opinion, that's a fact. There probably is nothing you can do about it. You can do something about yourself tho. Ask yourself why does it bother you? And what kind of mindset you would need to be for it to not bother you?

    I actually like "fake it till you make it" method. I think it's very powerful. Just being yourself and then waiting for confidence to come on it's own naturally... well, that's another method. I think it's useful if the challenge you have is to be confident with yourself and who you are. But if you are trying to become something more than you are then faking it till you make it works great. After acting a certain way, even if it's fake at first, later becomes natural for you and no more is fake. I do however think that being confident with the way you are now is a foundation that's great to have before attempting to build something more.
     
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  12. Boomer49

    Boomer49 Fapstronaut

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    Never liked the "fake it till you make" concept. Fake anything is shallow, untrustworthy. Now, mentally acting as though you were in possession of what you want trains the subconscious mind to operate as though you are that thing. It's very different than faking it.

    There will always be people who appear greater than you and those who appear lesser. Judging comes easily. It takes wisdom to postpone a judgement until all the facts are considered.
     
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  13. JethroTull

    JethroTull Fapstronaut

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    Don't get sucked into it. Outcool him by not being so cocky.
     
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