How do you guys & gals stop the recovery process weighing on your mind?

The worrying fades in time, just trust the process man, do 90 days and I promise you will feel better.

 

Honestly I think the most important factor for now is simply going free from any PMO for a longer and longer time span. You don't heal a broken arm by feeling guilty about it or constantly lingering on how badly it's hurt. You set it straight and keep it that way until the body heals it for you.
It's hard to go without using your arm for a while, but it's something you must do if you ever want it to be a nice healthy arm again able to do what it's supposed to do.
I just posted one useful tool I've found which you can check out. And more generally since you're just starting out, one of the greatest boons to victory over this addiction is to begin looking away instantly from any triggering material. I used to actuallybbelieve this was impossible, but it just takes practice.

 

I've accepted that I have done damage that to some degree is irreversible. Or at least that I've irreversibly altered my life through the watching of porn over many years. But I'm accepting of it. Because I still like myself. And one thing that I remind myself is that most guys my age (26) have done this. We've all changed our brains and sexualities in ways we cannot understand.

However, that doesn't mean I don't have hope for the future, and don't think I can't get to a healthy place. The less I watch porn the more I feel something authentic coming back to me. It takes a lot of time though. Years of conditioning won't fade in a few weeks or months. But ultimately that's ok. Even when I'm recovering I am still experiencing life, I am still growing. In fact I wouldn't be the person I am today without my addiction and without my recovery.

To me a large part of not worrying about these types of things is letting go of control. Accepting that wherever you are at in this moment is where you are meant to be at to get to the next moment. Once you let go of the control then I'd say an important next step is to focus on all the positives in life. Instead of thinking, "I've wasted 10 years on porn." Think, "I realised I had a problem pretty early in life and I'm already in recovery. It'll only be a year or so before I'm mostly recovered." Or whatever is applicable. Remind yourself of all the helpful things. There isn't a magic way to do this except practice. And if you are struggling with just this practice of acceptance and focusing on the positive - then you can be even more meta and try accepting that. Accept that you are unable to reach acceptance, be positive that you are at least aware of your shortcomings and are trying to address them.

 

Occupy the mind.
Read, exercise, go outside, build/fix stuff, talk with friends, cook, meditate.

Do the recovery work but then focus on other stuff. I find thinking about it all the time makes it seem farther away. Over the course of many reboots I’ve found counting the days of “PMO-free” makes it seem more insurmountable (at least for me).

 

I too have struggled with this @DinViesel . I think one thing to consider is the world we have grown up in. One year I went to a talk on the problems of pornography and how to quit. The speaker opened by saying " I am sorry that this has happened to you. I am sorry that you have grown up in a world where pornography is so widespread". There is a reason so many of us struggle with this addiction, but we can beat it!

Are you referring to emotional damage or more about physical change of the brain? I guess the two due sort of go in hand. From my very limited understanding, the brain is really good at forging new pathways as you change your behavior. If you're feeling discouraged, look at the success stories.

As far as goals go, I think some of the answers can be found in the reasons your quitting. Also, find a replacement behavior for PMO. This behavior should be something you find enjoyable, and be positive. The idea is that it will be something way better than porn. And take some time to sit and think about future goals. Write them down, and remind yourself how PMO could be an impediment to them.

Keep up the good fight. You will be in my prayers

 

Counting days seems to become less and less important the longer you go, although for me I'm also on semen retention as part of this journey and I do like to keep track of the days so I can compare my benefits with others of similar days, and see if there are any patterns.

I'm still struggling with the freedom part too. For now I've started putting more energy into my friends, dance, some writing. It's not enough though and I need more. I spend quite a lot of time just lying in bed contemplating and thinking (sometimes about women or past relationships) in the spaces where I might have watched porn in the past. That contemplation and thinking has been useful sometimes.

 

It's amazing how much we suppress through the usage of porn. I broke up with a woman two years ago and I went deep into porn afterwards to cope with the break-up. In the last two - three weeks as I've been getting clear of porn (perhaps the most ever since starting as a young teenager) all these thoughts and feelings about her and the relationship surfaced. It didn't help that a week ago was the two year anniversary of our break-up. I'm grateful for the feelings though. Some of them have been hard but it's helped me recognise little things I was holding onto with regards to her - that would have held me back in having a deep connection with a new partner.

It's funny.. I used to get so frustrated or angry at times when I felt sad and depressed. Nowadays I can often take it as a sort of blessing. That at least I'm feeling what's wrong and the fact that there is a feeling means I need to go through something.

Anyway, I wish you good luck on your journey. Having something to put your energy into like uni sounds great. No hard work is wasted