How does one move forward?

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Brittany522, Jul 18, 2019.

  1. Brittany522

    Brittany522 New Fapstronaut

    When we had started dating, everything seemed to be perfect and maybe that should have been the first sign something was not right. For months, I had no idea that I was just a pawn in his sexual obsession. Until one day I caved and listened to my gut feeling. I found multiple girls pictures in his phone, from any social media page. It ranged from girls that he went to college with, girls he had relationships with, random girls, porn stars and probably the most hurtful of all, a co worker. Out of all the pictures, only one of his actual girlfriend. He had a porn obsession which caused him to watch porn before and after we had sex. He would watch it any chance he could; as soon as he woke up, any time he went to the bathroom, and even at work.

    It's hard to even wrap my mind around any of it, let alone how do you even move forward after such events?

    How can you actually forgive your partner again after they have betrayed you in the most intimate way?

    Like for instance, one day after my bday he decided to download and save the video of his ex fuck buddy deepthroating..

    Every time I ever found out about it, it was because he got caught. He has never decided to just be forth coming about any of it. (We've been dating for a little over a year). I always had to prove to him I knew he was lying to me before he would ever be honest with me..

    This is the type of stuff that hurts the soul..and most guys never understand.
  2. hope4healing

    hope4healing Fapstronaut

    Is he in complete denial that he has a problem?
  3. Lostneverland

    Lostneverland Fapstronaut

    You’ve been dating for a year...get out. Sorry to be so opinionated and bold, but seriously he is in denial as hope4healing said.
    Remember nothing changes if nothing read the journal entries here, and see if this is a life you really want and desire.
    At this point you have been dating a year. There are no children involved, marriage, history etc...ask yourself all the hard questions.
    An addict will never change / evolve into a decent sober human until they themselves are damn ready too. So please don’t take any of his behaviour on that makes you feel less than.
    You are good enough, brave enough, beautiful enough and smart enough to see the future with this guy.
    Thinking of you and sending support
  4. Brittany522

    Brittany522 New Fapstronaut

    Honestly, he does seem to understand that he has a problem. For some reason he just doesn't think that looking up a few of the girls that he saved pictures for is a big deal, but to me it is. Especially when those pictures that he used for pleasure were right on this girls page. That's more when he comes into denial and doesn't understand why I'm upset with him.
  5. Brittany522

    Brittany522 New Fapstronaut

    Can't say I haven't thought of leaving, because I have several times. For some reason I just have too much hope that he could actually change. I'm not sure if he has gotten better at hiding or what..

    Reading the entries on this forum has helped so much. For so long I felt so alone in this and was too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it.

    Please never apologize for being opinionated or bold, I asked for such responses and appreciate the brutal honesty.
  6. hope4healing

    hope4healing Fapstronaut

    This shows that he's still thinking with the addict mind. That means he isn't ready to change. I'm sorry because I know that sucks, but I don't want you to make the same mistakes many of us have and believe he's working recovery if he isn't. Until he actually see his behavior as a problem and wants to do the hard work to fix it, nothing will change. He might become a better liar and better at hiding things, but he won't really be in recovery. You have to look out for you because this will only bring you down farther the longer it continues.
    Strength And Light and Susannah like this.
  7. nice-girlfriend

    nice-girlfriend Fapstronaut

    He sounds worse than my ex and if I were to give you advice I'd say save your sanity, time and self esteem and get out asap.
  8. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

    You are in the right spot for support . I recommend starting a journal!! ❤️
  9. Amanda011

    Amanda011 Fapstronaut


    I am in a relationship with a PMO and it's me I know. It's a constant struggle between your heart and your head. My boyfriend didn't have pics of other women, but does/ did watch porn then stopped, but was looking at pics of women online and now is trying not to M. This hurts so bad, I feel cheated on every time. I don't usually give this kind of advise, but he hasn't realized he has a problem and probably won't for a while...get out while you can. You deserve to feel safe in your relationship and valued.

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