In August of 2019, a woman from my past came back into my life. I had strong feelings for her, but she was on the fence. I had a lot of expectations built up about this rekindled romance. We had one date, and she dropped me. I had thought the date went well. What was unusual was that when she spoke, I didn't have to ask her any questions. It was like we were on the same plane. I guess she must have a whole hangar full, because she thought I should be grounded. With my lovelife being without lift, I struggled to make anything happen elsewhere. The rejections were bad and they were coupled with a rejection from the one I really wanted. One night after work, I was in my bed, and all these emotions were working on me. I felt lonely, depressed, crying often, and the emotional pain was sharp. But then I had a realization. The fact was that nothing could be done to solve my loneliness or get this woman back. If I was cornered, what was the point in feeling bad? When I felt how futile these feelings were, it helped me let go of them. Because nobody really deserves the privilege of controlling how I feel. I decided that if I was going to get a streak/reboot done, maybe sometimes I'd have to go through pain, bitterness, resentment, and loneliness. I accepted that emotional pain was part of the streak. For me, I could tell it would be unavoidable. When I accepted that, it meant that if pain came, I was going to feel it. But then I remembered the famous words of G. Gordon Liddy: Whatever doesn't kill me, can only make me stronger. That's a major benefit to the streak, is that when I have felt this pain, that it just gets easier to deal with, and one day it's gone. Running from it makes it worse. But ironically, the emotional pain is a big nothing. So what if i ask a girl out and she says no? Where's the loss? Do I want her by coersion, deception or push-pull lingo? No, that is not authentic, and is not a pathway to love. And being a better me is a guy with no or less emotional pain. A better me is either a guy who gets the girl, or a guy who genuinely isn't worried about it. Either way, feeling that pain and processing it is how i got to that point. I hope this thread helps, it's just my subjective opinion.
This is so interesting, man. I've been in your case so many times. And for the same reasons. At first, I was fighting my emotions,trying to make them go away. But repressing my emotions only made the pain worse. I understood that I had to feel this pain deep inside me and why it was there. Instead of trying to make the pain go away, accept the fact that it's okay to feel bad. It's part of life. We all try to escape rejection. But it's not rejection itself that hurts, it's all the emotional reactions we have about that rejection that causes us pain and suffering. I understood that pain doesn't come from the outside but from within. External events have nothing to do with it. I've learned that this is my responsibility. And when you understand that, you stop playing the victim. You understand that suffering is a choice. It's easier to suffer. there's no effort to be made. The worst part of it is that all this unnecessary suffering is not justified. We're all exaggerating what's happen to us. When we take a step back, we realize it's not that bad.
Sounds like alot of my dating experiences . I do know one thing women that are interested are NEVER ON THE FENCE THERE EITHER IN OR OUT. Rejection happens but not taking a chance also hurts well written
Yeah. That's a good thing about the quarantine, which is that I won't fall into the quicksand as easily... That means i got a better shot at another reboot.... Yeah, this is true. But I can't chase women during a reboot/streak. There's a certain amount of pain when I get eyes from a cute girl, I must admit. But after I become a success, the pain's over. This requires focus.
Sound wisdom, Shivy. The process SHOULD be - feel bad, accept it, feel it, then it fades, then life is good again. Because feeling pain is how somebody deals with reality in a way that is healthy. Sounds like an oxymoron. Trying to stop deep-seeded emotional reactions is like playing whack-a-mole. And if I blame myself for unwieldy emotional pain, that only makes it worse. So, I agree with you with the part on accepting responsibility, Whether the pain is my reaction or caused by someone else, either way there is no escape to pain. Life is nothing other than suffering. Putting it off, getting mad, vandalizing the neighborhood, using PMO, just multiplies the negativity in a world ruled by the blind. If I'm trapped and have to feel pain, I just feel it. It passes. If I have the choice, then it's a blessing, and I'll ditch the witch! haha!
If she was the one to dump you in the past, she is the one that have to earn another shot with you, not the other way around. She have to be the one wanting to rekindle things. it has to be her idea, but not. She was in the fence and you where more eager to date her again and is no surprise it ended badly. You need to focus your attention in your purpose in life. Your goals, your objectives. Having a girlfriend is a bonus in your life and never and objective, it just happens. is the best way, accept to feel the pain. eventually it will fade away. just let her go, is her lost. Is a fact that eventually another girl will see the value you have and happily accept going out with you
