How much of our troubles is a refusal to grow up?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by newstart002, Apr 21, 2019.

  1. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    I don’t disagree with you on it being dangerous. And sadly thanks to the Internet, music video and a generally “pornified society” kids do have sex before puberty.

    I have friends (and wife ) who teaches in the public school system here along with my sister in law and brother who are both work as family counselors. You would not believe the stories.

    About 30 min from my house a very well known city because of its university and music program, a teacher came up on two kids performing fellatio in the classroom. 3rd grade. My brother teaches in a lower income school district and had several kids at 9-10 grade who have already figured out having kids = paycheck from the govt. I could tell you story after story of real students that have tried this idiotic principal before and after puberty but it doesn’t make them any more mature I’m afraid.

    Anyways I think you have just agreed with me.
    Sex doesn’t make people mature. No matter their age.
     
  2. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    So the people in history who died as virgins--Jesus, Ghandi, Andy Warhol, Nikola Tesla, J. Edgar Hoover, Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa, and on and on--are you suggesting they never grew up? Are you suggesting that these world-changers remained immature their entire lives?

    Maturity does not come from sexual activity. Look around your own culture, and you'll see a lot of sexually active people who are incredibly immature.

    Maturity, and being an adult, involves being able to deny yourself desires in the interest of higher good. Being here on NoFap--making a conscious effort to stop PMO when it would be so much easier to just watch porn all day and jerk off--is a mark of maturity. There's nothing inherently mature about having sex in and of itself.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  3. i disagree. i didnt fap till i was 20 and i was stil imature af in my teens/early 20s
     
  4. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    What does fapping or not fapping have to do with maturity?

    "I didn't fap until I was 20" means nothing to me. If you hadn't fapped before, then you didn't know what you were missing. Maturity is when you know how good masturbation feels, and how easy PMO is to use as an escape, but you still deny yourself that pleasure because you're seeking something greater and more fulfilling.

    In a nutshell: instant gratification (with sex or otherwise) = immaturity. Delayed gratification for higher purposes = maturity. Obviously there's a bit more to maturity than that, but I think that's about as concise a definition as I can come up with.

    In other words, maturity has everything to do with having control over your desires. I see nothing innately mature about someone who's insanely sexually active. I know many sexually active people who still live with their parents, play video games all day, and make fart jokes. Sex does not make someone mature.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  5. life is all about instant gratification through sex lol
     
  6. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    And with that comment, you've shown that you're not mature in the least. Or, you simply have a very different definition of maturity than the generally accepted one.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  7. the general tends to lie ofter. humans tend to mask their true nature
     
  8. Xander_

    Xander_ Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Not sure if being serious or trolling.

    If being serious, living a life through such lens is going to bring you a lot of disappointment and emptiness. However, you are the one that faces responsibility through every action you do, if you don't understand it now ... don't worry, you're young you'll get it eventually.
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2019
  9. lack of sex is emptiness. but apparently, humans are not social beings according to you. we can just do hobies and lift and it will be the same as sharing a meaningful relationship with a woman
     
  10. Xander_

    Xander_ Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I dont recall saying anything about humans being non-social beings.

    You are the one missing a point here. Having a meaningful relationship with a woman doesnt come just to having sex.

    The reason i want to lift, do my hobies etc. Is because i want to improve myself physically and mentally, to become the man i admire. Not to compensate for socializing with people.
     
  11. good , i accept that. you are the most honest person here.
     
    Xander_ likes this.
  12. Don't project your warped morals on others.

    You realize, that you are only exposing yourself here, right?
     
  13. i have nothing to hide.
     
  14. BruceD

    BruceD Fapstronaut

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    Agree with the posts about growing up and maturing. I certainly have delayed some aspects of maturity. I always had an imagination and ambition but severely lacked discipline. That is a recipe for a lifetime of confusion and heartache. Throw PMO in there and you have someone who is a man-child. Avoiding real intimacy and taking risks. No more I say. No more. Thank goodness I found meditation and this forum.
     
    aspirant and need4realchg like this.
  15. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    How old is that please?
     
  16. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Here in the us 3rd grade is approx 8yrs old.
     
  17. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Thanks Wikipedia, i imagine if you could talk you would have the richest deepest Sean Connery accent :

    “In Internet slang, a troll is a person who starts quarrels or upsets people on the Internet to distract and sow discord by posting inflammatory and digressive,[1] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community(such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the intent of provoking readers into displaying emotional responses[2] and normalizing tangential discussion,[3] whether for the troll's amusement or a specific gain.”

    - Wiki P.
     
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2019

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