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How much sex is too much during reboot?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Kinkster2016, Jul 30, 2020.

  1. Kinkster2016

    Kinkster2016 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys and girls. First of all thanks for reading this ,and thanks for your opinions.

    So ,long story short im a recovering P and sex addict. I ve been dealing with ED almost all my life and ultimately with severe PIED. I started my reboot journey 2 years ago but relapsed a few times since. Currently im 70 days in what i hope to be my last reboot.
    More than a month ago i got a new gf . Because of my sex issues i always suffered from performance anxiety . So i was always friends with different pills and enhancers .
    A month ago me and my gf had sex for the first time (with some external help ) .All went well for a few weeks . We would only had sex no more than twice a week .It wasn't the best sex of my life ,but it was something.
    Recently ,happy that i broke thru my PIEd ,i gave up any external help and tried having sex almost every night and morning. I probably forgot about the fact that im a recovering addict :)) and pushed it too far.
    I noticed that ,when im not finishing to fast , i have trouble keeping an erection and lose focus during intercourse.At first it was ok ,and i would manage to get myself back on track,but last time it happened twice,and i couldn't get hard anymore. Some times i go crazy for her and cant help myself ,but other times it just feels boring . How to deal with a lack of libido ?
    I really like this girl and for the first time in my life i really want to make this work .I know this is not easy for her as well ,as she has some self image issues and i know shes blaming herself for this too,and its kiling me.
    I always thought that if i break my PIED and stay away from P things will get better in a progressive way.
    My question is how to deal with a sexual life as recovering addict?
    How much sex is too much?
     
  2. I think having sex can be quite helpful during reboot since it can help you rewire your brain and teach you a healthy relationship with your and your partners sexuality.

    There is one thing you should understand though. The thing about the libido is completely bullshit. Sometimes its possible to have sex several times a day sometimes once is enough. Your libido is influenced by many different factors. Media and porn showcase a lifestyle of people being always horny and ready for sex. So I think there is nothing wrong with your libido.

    Take it slow and reduce the numbers of time with your girlfriend. The more often you do it the less special it will gonna be. Especially since you are still in reboot you shouldn't replace one substance with another. What could work for you is to practice slow sex because it helped me a lot when I was in the same situation as you. Make long foreplay and enjoy every second you have with your partner. Place fun and happiness in the middle of having sex with her and not your erection as well as the orgasm. Try to be in the moment and do not think about anything else. Just let yourself fall. Google this concept for more information. :)

    Have you ever thought about telling your girlfriend about your issue? I made the experience that honesty always has the biggest positive impact. My girlfriend told me at the beginning before ever being intimate that she rather would have a weak penis than knowing I was on medication. So I never took a pill but after that I never had big erection issues afterwards. Acceptance can be so important. :)
     
    liujc and JamesTheSquirrel like this.

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