Hi everyone, a bit of context about myself (i'll try to keep it short): i'm 22yo, i've been watching porn since i'm 8yo and it's been over 10 years that i'm heavily addicted. i've watched all the most extreme and degrading stuff even some illegal ones or stuff that isn't even porn like actual torture or gore stuff etc. When i realize i had a problem, i came here, i stayed for like a year or two. Nofap kinda helped me, like i learnt a lot about myself, about porn and everything but i deleted my account after a while because i realized that it's not porn i wanted to quit itself it was just my way of using it. Since then, i had kind of "healthy" relationship with porn, i try to stay away as much as possible and when i watch it, i try to only watch girls masturbating or stuff like that. All that is pretty good for me (atleast it's way better that how it was before) and i could be completely fine with it IF i didn't have that one fucking fetish that remain from the time i was into that type of shit wich is interracial and everything that goes with it (cuckolding and hardcore raceplay like bnwo stuff and all). I litteraly hate it, i never hated a fetish as much as this one. It makes me feel even shittier than when i was fapping on people being litteraly tortured (not in a bdsm style) or whatever. It's the only non-healthy fetish i can't get rid off, like it's the only reason that i relapse so often on porn. Every time i relapse on it once, i jerk off like 5 times after it on vanilla stuff to kinda trick myself into forgetting it? like "i didn't fap to this, i only watch normal stuff" or whatever and it work a bit, atleast for a few times and then, out of nowhere, i see a random triggers and my whole soul goes deep into it again. Last year, i went to an escort, a girl i already saw a few times so i wasn't anxious or whatever but because of my poor lifestyle, i couldn't perform. I told myself that i'll get my life together, that i will completely stop porn, that i'll start exercising again and all but since then, this fetish is getting out of hand. I think i could get rid of it, if there wasn't so much triggers irl. it's not a fetish that you see only on internet by looking for it and can be easily avoided. It's In the media, in adds, on the street, we are exposed to it all the times. i just spent the last nights edging while playing porn video games where the whole thing turns around interracial just because i saw a random interracial couple on the street few days ago. i just feel like shit, my depression i hitting me harder than usual and i'm getting really tired of it. Sorry it was a bit long, but all that to ask this simple question: How can i avoid these types of triggers everyday? I can't just go blind unfortunately... (just don't tell me to go see a therapist, i've seen multiple most of my life and i have way to many bad experience with them. i don't want to see another one)
Stop watching porn. There is not way you can watch only "good porn" since there is none. You will eventually always get bored since porn in its core essence is not satisfying. It lacks so many aspects of real sex so you can never get enough of it. You will never feel pleased. Sure you can go a few weeks without it and after that it feel amazing but it does not take long after you crave for more and more to the point you can not get any satisfaction from it if you do not start watching something that makes you feel like shit. Stop watching porn. No other way to get rid of those fetishes. You are in the right place. Stop seeing triggers as excuses and find a way to beat the triggers. I had problem with IR as well. And every time I relapse badly (pmo daily or even more due to the chaser effect) I end up watching it or some other genre that I find disgusting. Nothing in porn will ever satisfy us. No matter how hard our brain tries to convince that the next clip or genre will make us feel better or get rid of the urge. That will happen for as long as you realize that youve had enough and you do not want to watch it anymore. Read a book called Your brain on porn if you have not. It speaks about escalation as well as other issues that porn causes.
You're right and deep down i know it. i only watch "good porn" (meaning girls masturabating or very vanilla stuff) to avoid the triggers of my fetishes and sometimes i even get completely bored of it so i give in to my old fetishes. I know i shouldn't watch any porn but damn, the triggers of fetishes are so damn strong sometimes like i'm just chilling and a random thought about interracial comes into my mind and then my mind goes blank. i can't think of anything else, i can't concentrate on anything else, i start to slowly take my phone, go in instagram, twitter, seeking everything interracial without even realizing it and not so long after that, i'm deep down in hardcore interracial porn. i reached to the point that i dream about it and it's the only dreams i can remember of when i wake up. Sometimes it's just very hard to avoid. I still haven't read it yet, i'll do it. Thank you.
Stay strong, try focusing on your breathing when the urges come and point your focus to the top of your head. Urge happens in the brain so by focusing on the top of your head you can treat the urge as it is, a passing sensation inside your head, something that is not you. Because you are focusing on the top of your head. Stay strong man and quit all porn. Only way to get rid of porn induced fetishes.
Do you really wanna quit pmo or not? If yes you will get rid of it eventually. There is no easy way. Start with small streaks. You'll probabaly fail a lot of times to gradually build control.
I do. I really want to quit it, especially this fetish. I did it for most of my old fetishes so i think i can do it for this one as well, it's just very hard to avoid the triggers, but i'll try my best. Thanks, i know it's gonna be hard, but i'll try to stay focused on something else when the urges comes.
You cannot avoid seeing interracial couples in the street, in the media and entertainment. No more than someone can avoid seeing women of a certain age if they have a MILF fetish. What you can do is to develop countermeasures to manage these triggers. You need to immediately intercept the triggers as soon as your mind identifies them. Get in the habit of forcing your mind onto something else and keeping it there. This will have the effect of weakening the connection from the triggers to PMO.
Thank you for the advice, i'll try to suppress it by doing something else or by focusing on something else everytime i see a trigger. i'll try my best and i really hope it's gonna work
