how to beat an urge?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by thedaiem, Jul 23, 2014.

  1. thedaiem

    thedaiem Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys, im new to nofap, been here only 2 days and it already has been a ton of inspiration for me. Id like to ask you guys on how to beat an urge? I mean like everythings good and all until suddenly it hits you like a bullet and all you can think about is PMO. Is there anything specific we can do immediately to curb it and make us forget?
     
  2. squirrel

    squirrel Fapstronaut

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    Yes. You want it to hit you, so you can resist. Resistance is your replacement drug. The harder you have to fight it, the more your system rewards you.

    The only thing you need to do is to accept that it is hard, that you want it to be hard, and that that is energy you want to gather out of your suffering, urging and finally resisting.

    good luck.
     
    Paul1966 likes this.
  3. vik17

    vik17 Fapstronaut

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    My opinion is that you cannot kill an urge by focusing on not relapsing. That is if you keep thinking " I will not relapse," eventually you will. I read somewhere that you have to starve the urge, that is, just ignore it. Do something that will fill up your mind and get you to forget about it. I use studies as they help me focus completely on something else than urges. Eventually, urges go away. They are only shortlive. Good luck and stay strong.
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2014
    FormerFapaholic likes this.
  4. fapoholic23

    fapoholic23 Fapstronaut

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    Personally for me, I was studying and after about 30-40 minutes, I just could not concentrate as all I could think about was PMO. Different folks, different strokes and all that.

    I've heard exercising is a great way to beat an urge! Meditation may help too.

    Good luck brother!

    Peace!
     
  5. [troubled:student]

    [troubled:student] Fapstronaut

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    I'm asking myself the same question :(
     
  6. ABP

    ABP Fapstronaut

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    Yes, exactly, this is the same problem with me - all of the times i failed to resist so far were exactly because of being too focused on not relapsing - in other words, i kept thinking "i should not relapse, i should not..". The thing is that the very thought of this urge is just a thought like every other one - it pops up for a second and then it can be gone with the same haste with which it appeared in the first place :)
     
  7. Lat

    Lat Fapstronaut

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    I think the whole about relapsing makes it sound like masturbating and orgasm is a bad thing - it's doing it too much, the self-abuse aspect of it, that's a bad thing. It's making it a routine thing in your life, especially with porn as the catalyst for it - then it become a real bad habit.

    but if you can get it so it's not a habitual thing (that is something you do on a regular basis) and if you can get it so it doesn't interfere with a productive and social balanced life - well, that seems normal. To tug one out occasionally for relief isn't a relapse, it's a normal physical reaction. Say, your out and you meet a girl that you find really attractive, and you get home and she's on your mind. And you become aroused. Well, if you can control that, that's great, but if you fap one out to go to sleep -

    I don't know if that's a relapse or just a normal reaction... It seems like a normal reaction to me... maybe I'm wrong.. but continually calling things relapses makes it sound like junkies getting hits... just don't fall into the habit - but keep a balanced life. and if once in a while you have a wank because the heat is on, well, that's normal so long as it's not a habitual thing and especial so long as porn is not the impetus.
     
  8. Hotshot

    Hotshot Fapstronaut

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    Couple things I use here.

    1. I have been updating my journal daily. Logging all the good things that come from no PMO is great to look at when you have an urge and realize why you stopped in the first place. A lot of people say "don't look back" but I need to see where I was and why I don't want to go back to that place. Where I am now is a whole lot better then where I was then.

    2. I took up running casually. It's nice to go for a 30 - 45 minute jog. If you have an urge pick a direction and just start running / jogging / walking. Once you get about 20 minutes from your house you still have another 20 minutes even if you wanted to, to even get home. That's great to buy yourself even more time to help stay away from the temptations.

    3. Stay away from triggers. You can only do this if you identify the "subtle" triggers. The obvious triggers are the easy ones. One "subtle" trigger for me is simply coming home and sleeping on one side of the bed. That side is where I always fapped in my habit it is extremely easy to just be "programmed" this is what you do. Much like taking the same route to work. Except for PMO. I combat that by literally just sleeping on the other side of the bed. It's actually helped a lot.

    4. I like to watch my streak climb. It's only at about 10 days now, but It's nice to see it go up 1 more day every 24 hours. :p good luck!
     
  9. Saserman

    Saserman Fapstronaut

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    The best way to beat an urge is stay busy and keep that urge out of your mind and eventually forget that it ever existed. Think about what stuff you need to do (clean the house, mow the lawn, fix something, exercise, etc.) and just do it. Stay productive.

    And avoid triggers so that you don't have to do this every 10 minutes.
     
    FormerFapaholic likes this.
  10. Lat

    Lat Fapstronaut

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    watching the streak grow is good. I'm approaching my second day with is nothing really, I set a target of 7 days, I'll see how I go when I get there, but it would be good to hit that 7 day period. and maybe extend.

    it's up to me, and that's the empowering thing about this. And this is about getting a real control over my life by controlling myself. who knows, maybe I'll see 30 days and if I can hit 90 days, I'll find out what this reboot thing is all about.... l'm starting to look froward to that.
     
  11. Tombuktu

    Tombuktu Fapstronaut

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    Someone told me that you beat a bad habbit by replacing it with a good one. The focus should not just be on nofap or no PMO, there should also be a yes to something better. I am still trying to figure out my yes list. Today the urges to PMO hit me pretty bad. The only way to deal with it was to do get busy with something helping someone else. Since I am between jobs I find it very hard since I have plenty of time in my hands. Offered to maw the lawn and help with some gardening for the old lady across the road who graciously accepted. So, spent an hour doing it (for free)and felt pretty good about myself :cool:
     
  12. Lat

    Lat Fapstronaut

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    Yeah replacing a bad habit with a good habit - so true! Unable to sleep I play lumosity mind games instead of watching porn. That helps.
     
  13. vik17

    vik17 Fapstronaut

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    Different things work for different people. The crucial thing is that one needs to find something that effectively helps keep their mind of pmo. Also, these urges go away. They may seem to peak and take much time to leave but they do leave. Patience is also another key besides focusing on somwthing else.
     

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