I want to get back to my real/old self. I used to be a innocent kid who had quite the brain, intelligence. I used to read a lot. I talked to older people and they usually would tell me that I'm a smart kid. It was noticed by teachers also. Yes, I was lazy. Yes, I hated school. But school is not a proof that you're a smart human being. No. It's just... School. Tests, tests and once more tests. But real wisdom, intelligence? Was it tested there? No. At least not in schools I learned. So... How do I start again? How do I get to that core of mine? I'm a intelligent guy, I'm smart, really. Not to brag, no! Just saying that I could do more and I've given up! Drinking (not as often), smoking, rarely working out, probably not reading at all. How do I get back there? I know that by just doing so I can get there. I know, but I used to read a lot last summer but... It all disappeared from me. I don't know how and why but I lost all the motivation and reasons to be that version. Maybe someone has experienced similar stuff? Someone has "bounced back"? Tell me how do I get back.
I would say start to figure out what has taken away your energy. Here are some things that would help: 1)Diet, limit if not eliminate processed or refined food/sugars. This has a detrimental effect on energy and motivation. 2) Get your blood work done, see if you have any vitamin or mineral deficiencies. Get your T levels checked. Address as needed. 3) Exercise, if you're not doing any exercise you're depriving your body of a natural feel good. 4)Working on overcoming your porn addiction, which obviously you know as you are here. 5)Meditation, develop awareness and practice mindfulness in what you do. Walking/cleaning/etc\. Learn a healthy way to manage your emotions. 6) Healthy sleep routine, no screens at least 30 to 1 hour before bed. Consistent sleep wake schedule, your circadian rhythm will help you. 7) Limit social media/youtube/screen time in general. 8) Journal and keep track of what you've been doing All of these at your capacity and slowly increase. I.e if you don't exercise at all, commit to 1 or 2 days a week for a month. Increase from there. Also, none of this is an overnight fix. It takes time. So be patient with yourself. Good luck!
Set goals and keep track of your progress. There really isn’t any mystery here. You want to read more? Pick up a book. You want to work out more? Hit the gym. I suspect the underlying issue you are grappling with is one of identity. Are you the sort of man who complains on the internet? Or are you the sort of man who knows what he wants and gets after it? A little bit of both? Something else? It’s up to you.
I feel you man. I got to get back to my art. I'd go with all that @Redemptionisrequired said. Do you also play videogames?.
You need to get away from everything for a moment in time, take a hike up to the top of a mountain or forest, find the peak and self reflect for as long as you need, find a place where you will be at peace and go alone, take no electronics with you, no books, just go by yourself and reconnect with what you truly desire.
