How to not be addicted? What a stressful lifelong pursuit :(

This is a venting post.

Not sure how I'm gonna get out of this, don't have a definite solution yet. All I want to do is use constantly... Can't go a couple days without extremely powerful cravings leading me to fall desperately to my knees for a fix.. Things work, and then my mind finds a way past them (can you truly fool the mind long-term?).. It's just so consuming being indulged in addiction daily, and such a pathetic thing to be so wired to.

I know I must quit PMO for my future. I've always felt like a kid, and am always further away from mustering up the courage to dive into "grown up things", like working a job, making stable money, having a girlfriend, having my own living space, etc. These are all things I've never had, and I feel as long as I have PMO in my life I cannot grow one bit. It's like feeding poison to a tree, when it should be receiving water. :/

To truly be happy I know we must free ourselves from addiction to be free - and I want this so bad, but severely struggle.