How to share and what not to share with discussion group at church?

For Fapstronauts who are disciples of Christ

  1. DanielShakleferd

    DanielShakleferd Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys, I have some questions about how to and how not to talk to people in my church about this. I have a good opportunity to do so. At my church, some of the people stay for about an hour after the service for "Adult Sunday School" which is often either a group discussion, an educational thing, or so on. In this case, we have had a series of discussions related to technology and media(the good and bad sides of it), and the specific subject for next Sunday(which is tomorrow for me) is "Access to Temptations". I assume it is at least partially if not mainly going to be talking about porn. So far the discussion groups have had about 20 people. I am not going to share my testimony with them in this case, I want to keep whatever I am going to say relatively short.

    My motivation for sharing would be mostly to warn parents of its danger to children and maybe something edifying to adults but that is secondary. My hope is to say something that might encourage parents to take this very seriously and maybe for adults to work towards confession and getting help.

    I haven't taken much time to think it through. I think I will talk about the following ideas.

    1. How neither children or adults will be deterred by rules alone and that we need to know why it is against the rules so that we can be motivated by love and regard for others. Looking at naked ladies is preferable to following empty rules that we don't understand, but if we understand the spirit of God's bounderies, and that it has emotional and phychological consequences in addition to the commonly acknowledged one. Knowing how deeply this affects everyone involved. The strongest weapon against porn is acknowledging it for what it is and the consequences not only for us but for the people in that industry(both the porn industry and sexual exploitation in hollywood HBO etc). Most of us would never invite prostitutes into our house and ask them to have sex in front of us while we watch, we know that would be crazy. But porn or sexualized media has a way of making it seem harmless, our brains or at least my brain seems to just register it differently than if the people were right there in front of us looking back at us.

    2. Children will be understandably very curious about sexual things. When they hear/see people talking about this mysterious thing called "sex", that it is just the best thing ever, that it is something that all adults apparently do or want to do, that it has something to do with how babies and how they themselves have been made. Who in their right mind wouldn't be curious? And if a kid looks it up on google, they are likely to pretty quickly stumble across stange websties claiming to be for "Adults and super mature people only! No little kids allowed! XXX 18+ ONLY" with many showing women in little to no clothing(I can't remember if those websites are allowed to show naked people on the "must be 18 to enter pages"). What kid is going to be deterred by that? "Uh-oh! This looks like it is made for adults and mature people, I better not go in!" They might as well be saying "Enter for free candy!"

    3. Kids need to know about the emotional and spiritual purpose of sex(and the consequences) more than they need an anatomy lesson. I knew nothing about the former as a kid. Some of it may be inappropriate or simply go over their head depending on their age level.
     
    Bob385 likes this.
  2. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    What does your warning add to the conversation that is not already widely known?

    What prevents you from sharing your personal story in this regard? Surely your personal witness and testimony in this area is the gift God has given you to help encourage others? Or are you not in a place of victory in this area? If this is the case, perhaps that is the greatest testimony of all that you could give to others!
     
  3. DanielShakleferd

    DanielShakleferd Fapstronaut

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    I am back from church. Our anonymous poll results said that 70-somthing-percent of the people at our church that filled it out had come accross porn, intentionally or unintentionally. There wasn't really time for much of my testimony. I basically just said that I am especially worried for kids and that I want parents to be aware of just how dangerous it is for children, that many people become hooked as children. I told them how I came across it somewhere between 8-10 years old and got hooked on it and was already watching perverted stuff before I was even a teenager. I told them how it has just gotten more and more perverted and unnatural and that it is a lot worse than "just" naked women(I didn't go into more detail than that). I told them that I wondered whether all adults do that stuff or whether my parents did it(the perverted stuff I mean). I told them how I was terrified to tell anyone even though my parents were not harsh, and that it might be helpful to assure kids know that they can come to them(the parents) about that kind of stuff. I told them that I couldn't make progress by trying to follow the letter of the law and that I had to make love and respect for others my focus in order to make progress.

    I didn't go into detail on how to prepare their kids or teach them about sex(partially because I am not entirely sure how myself), and I said that I am not trying to tell them how to raise their kids and that I just want them to be aware of the threat and that I am not saying to live in fear but to be informed about it.

    I am relieved that it seemed to go well. I wasn't the only one that talked and I was the only one to be open about the fact that I used it(nobody was asked to share or anything), but I think I got my message across. We also all watched a youtube clip at the start

     
    Tao Jones likes this.
  4. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    This is a very encouraging report! Sounds like it went great. If any parents ask, you can recommend that they install accountability software on their kids' devices (phones, computers, etc.) and monitor what they do online. That is what we do for our kids, and it has been very helpful.
     
    DanielShakleferd likes this.

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