How would you reward yourself for completing a NoFap challenge

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by GRAHAMDONDIE, Nov 15, 2014.

  1. GRAHAMDONDIE

    GRAHAMDONDIE Fapstronaut

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    Within a week from today I will complete the 30 day challenge without PMO. It may not be the biggest challenge but it has had difficult moments as well. I'm thinking about rewarding myself once I complete the challenge. I think big challenges are made of small ones. So it would be impossible to achieve a 90 day challenge without going through smaller challenges. This takes us to think about having an award per challenge no matter it's importance.
    At the end it is probable that we will put ourselves a bigger challenge, so before starting it how would you reward yourself for reaching the actual objective? Will it be a drink? Will it be allowing yourself some pleasure? (without loosing control of course). Will it be trying to have a nice moment with someone special? What would you like? We know it's always good to celebrate when accomplishing something, it makes us to keep succeeding
     
  2. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I recommend against rewarding yourself with anything materialistic. It can too easily lead to having another one... I strongly recommend against pleasuring yourself to celebrate, as it would be undoing all of your hard work.

    Yeah, 90 days seems impossible to start off with, but it is attainable. I'm building up with 30 day chunks. At the end of 90 days I am going to reward myself by going for a run and screaming (I did it!)at the top of my lungs!!! (or words to that effect)
     
  3. IGY

    IGY Guest

    When I got to 90 days (previously) it didn't feel significant at all, although I was pleased to have completed the NoFap challenge if course. However, I did have a real sense of achievement when I got to 100 days (triple figures maybe) and again at 120 days (four months maybe). But I didn't commemorate any of fit with some reward. Mind you, NoBrainer, I would pay good money to see your running yawp, hahaha! I am not sure I would base any recommendations on my experience though Graham.
     
  4. GRAHAMDONDIE

    GRAHAMDONDIE Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your comments, you've*been more days without PMO than me so you may know things that I haven't experienced yet. As you can see, my current challenge is 30 days, once I complete it I want to get to 60 days, then 90, etc etc. But I really want to... let's say, celebrate each time I complete a challenge, so that feeling generated my question. Of course celebrating with measure, without losing control nor letting other things interfiere with the process.
     
  5. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    What do you mean by these two things specifically?

    I'd say reward yourself with something that you enjoy AND is productive and good for you. Do something that makes you truly happy existentially. Physical pleasure does not bring true happiness, only a fake numbing of life's true flavor.
     
  6. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    reward? right that is important!

    a bottle vodka and a brand-new porn DVD.

    of course not - just kidding. :)

    coffee and a delicious piece of cake.
     
  7. GRAHAMDONDIE

    GRAHAMDONDIE Fapstronaut

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    Yes I may be wrong with the first one. But how come having a special moment (yes sex) with someone you love will not bring true happiness? That question is for the ones that have a girlfriend or are married and have been abstaining from PMO, but that does not necessarily mean that "making love" with your woman won't mean a good thing, specially because for example in my case, I'm abstaining from PMO so I can enjoy real sex better (always with my girl of course, I don't want to fuck every girl I find in a bar because in that case it won't mean anything as you said.
     
  8. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I see. Do what you feel is right, but I still think rewarding yourself with sex for abstaining from solo-sex is kinda backwards.
     
  9. GRAHAMDONDIE

    GRAHAMDONDIE Fapstronaut

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    This leads to the phrase "Everything is good in moderation", from my point of view, we're here to learn how to have control, and moderation over masturbation/sex, not to quit them for the rest of our lives. The addiction presents the lack of that control, but if you control it, you have power over the addiction, and if you succeed, you won't be addicted anymore. But I respect what you say, cause I know your goal may be different than mine. I'm here to learn how to control my PMO addiction, but that's different than having sex with someone you love, which is for sure, a good thing for both the body and soul if you do it properly, without loosing control as I said.
    Porn is bad, yes.
    The addiction to it is bad, yes of course.
    Is sex bad? No if you do it in moderation, with the proper person, in a proper way.
    As I said, I still respect what you're saying, that's why we are here, to discuss about these things and listen to opinions.
     
  10. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    If that's really how you feel about her then that's good.

    My goals are so radically different then most here. I lose sight of that sometimes.
     
  11. ADC

    ADC Fapstronaut

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    The reward is already a whole better lifestyle in itself. I don't need another reward !
     
  12. Rewired

    Rewired Fapstronaut

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    I thought about rewarding myself but the sense of personal satisfaction in reaching 90 days was so awesome i didn't need to.
     
  13. ChangeofDavid

    ChangeofDavid Fapstronaut

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    Rewards are another addiction, kind of. Its carrot and sticks when you think about it. The reward might be the journey that gets you to the goal. Maybe your reward will be a compliment from a stranger that's unrelated to the journey.
     
  14. Vision

    Vision Fapstronaut

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    What about reading some Plato? What pleasure is up to that?
     
  15. GRAHAMDONDIE

    GRAHAMDONDIE Fapstronaut

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    Completely respectable opinions, and actually your opinions made me think better about the rewards stuff. The feeling about having control over an addiction is already a reward, the feeling of being free. And we may have different goals, as I said, mine is to have control over PMO (not doing it again) so I can enjoy real sex better, I think that will be my best reward, the moment when I'll enjoy real sex as it's supposed to be enjoyed, without thinking about all the crazy things porn has made me think/want.
    Let's see how I feel when I reach day 30.
     
  16. KrmGrn

    KrmGrn Fapstronaut

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    I think it's totally valid to reward yourself when you complete a challenge. However I wouldn't reward yourself with anything that could be a trigger for your addiction. Ultimately the act of giving yourself a reward is psychological, it's the act of patting yourself on the back and acknowledging your accomplishment that's important. Whatever physical thing you attach to that doesn't matter as long as it isn't something related to your addiction or likely to trigger a new addiction.
     
  17. EternalWaves

    EternalWaves Guest

    Freedom from the addiction is the reward by itself.

    What can be better than finally reaching your goals?
    Finally doing the things you ever wanted?
    Finally living a meaningful life?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 18, 2014
  18. GRAHAMDONDIE

    GRAHAMDONDIE Fapstronaut

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    Yes, actually it makes a lot of sense
     
  19. TotalLifeChange

    TotalLifeChange Fapstronaut

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    I actually recommend you go and celebrate with some reward you really like (obviously non-related to PMO).

    That "freedom is the reward" motto is very pretty and we all would love it to be true. Our recoveries would be much easier.

    The truth is, your limbic system knows sh*t about your long-term goals. We're talking about positive reinforcement. So you go out and do something you enjoy.

    My advice is to take a reward that is sort of "proportional" to your achievement, and that is not destructive or you completely control.

    For instance if I complete 30 days maybe I invite a few friends for dinner, 90 days I buy a tablet, whatever.
     
  20. **John**

    **John** Fapstronaut

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    As TotalLifeChange already said, your brain gives thousands of %&(?/$ to goals far in the future.
    Using reward substitute is a really good idea.
    When you are in the most powerfull urge you ever experienced, just tell yourself: When I survive this, I will play this videogame. Or I will go downtown. Or I will watch this movie. Or I will go out with my friends. Or I will listen to the my favourite song.
    As you see, there are thousands of possibilties to do reward yourself without exaggerating and buying a new laptop.
    If you will be able to use this method, you will be able to achieve all your long term goals.
    I highly recommend watching this TED-Talk.
     

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