I’m still addicted

I would like to note firsthand that i do not consider this a relapse in my books. But i still feel guilty especially after how well ive done with nofap

So there i was at home playing video games in bed. Idk what exactly i thought but i thought about a womans body, just looking at it. Si yes, i searches photos on google images. I held back a couple of times but eventually did. Now my phone is set up to kinda block porn images so everything i saw was basically girls with minimal clothing at the most. But i was looking for a good 15 minutes. I didnt want to watch porn but all of my relapses barely started with me watching porn but just at the body first.

I was well aware of what i was doing but didnt stop until 10 minutes later like i said. Ive been abke to resist any and all irges during the past 25 days but tody i gave in for no apparent reason.

On the other hand, my ability to push thoughts or images out if my brain has gotten much much better. Right now im sitting in the parkig lot of my gym about to go in and take out all this built up inside of me

Regarding the title of this thread; i am still weak. I KNOW that at any given moment i can relapse if i LET myself. Its all about self control and knowing what itll do to you if you let it. It sucks that by doing this, these mext few days are gonna be harder but i will be back on track easy.

 

yes and no, i did expect myself to be able to control myselfbut i do not expect to completely rid myself or urges, thiughts and images in my head, and the tendency to look at anything arousing wether it be a pic or a real life girl. I gotta be more careful and spend time on nofap again. I literally told myself i aouldnt write anytging for this week only to see how it would go.. i guess this was the outcome.