I done PMO few moments ago

Hi people of the planet Earth,i have to share something with you.
TRIGGER WARNING:I watched femdom porn videos for almost one whole hour(because vanilla and other fetish can't arouse me,i m only femdom addict whole life)after that whole hour i PMO'd.In moment when i get O that was only few seconds of pleasure,and after i O in moment i realized that what i watch can never happen in real life(just in case you pay prostitute).All these disgusting things i have watched just take my time and make me feel worse.
TRIGGER WARNING:When i say that can never happen in real life i mean i watched cock and ball trampling videos where woman with all weight walk on someone's cock and balls barefoot,with sneakers or boots,for me very sick.Which girlfriend want to do that to his boyfriend?Might there is girls like that(dominant women) you know what i mean.
I was never aroused by vanilla neither i have ever aroused by ass or tits,this shit holds me since I was born and even after 500+ days of nofap it is still here!In few words i m disabled for normal sex because normal things like tits,ass or pussy can't arouse me...It makes me i want to scream to myself sometimes but i just learned to live with that,that is sick part of me which i stop to feed long ago.When i was 5 or 6 years old i saw femdom scene on tv and boom i was doomed.Since then i m intro femdom addiction,that is not porn induced fetish so i guess it will stay during my lifetime forever.But i don't really care about this anymore i m ok with this and reconciled with the facts.
I will never again losing my time to porn or M,and i will never think fantasies or think will i be able to find girlfriend because of this sickness.All that thinking will help nothing so i leave PMO FOREVER NOT EVEN ONCE MORE there is not a single good think,but in nofap is almost unlimited good things to come.

 

Hi buddy, i m not disappointed after relapse because i remind myself of something.I feel a little bad but i m ok.
That something is that my femdom fantasies will never come true,i just lose my time and waste energy,and brainwashing myself,so i got conclusion i will complete leave this sickness behind me.After i got O and get clean look what i have watched and PMO i just got in my mind that is not normal.When i say not normal i know there exist much worst fetish,but i personally don't like this.

 

No i don't hardest time when i m on streak like 2 weeks,my hardest time is when i m around the month,after i pass one month things are easier.
My hobbies is weight lifting i have set of weights at home,and walking in the nature,maybe few more things but not like a hobbies.

It seems like i judge to my fetish in my comments that is stated before,but i accept myself how i m,there is nothing better what i can do,i think like that.

Yes buddy,much people have get rid of femdom or reduce that fetish very much,but i m different case.
I have femdom fetish and foot fetish,i was never attracted to vanilla and other "Normal" things ass,tits..
When i was 5-6 years old it was first time when i can remember that this started.I was always loved to trampled by girls even when i was 6 or even little older.At that time i didn't know what is porn,what is M i started PMO when i was 12.

I understand point of this,but my case is not this.Like i said i can't fu*k,i have no arousal around normal things,so it will be hard for me and my partner to enjoy both.
Buddy my longest streak was 269 days of no PMO hardmode.During that time i really feel that things change to better.Not just i m in this kind of fetish that is only kind of sexual activity for me,femdom and foot fetish.
Thank you for your time buddy