Hello, I am here because this is first place I have found - after a lot of searching - that offers support like this. I have caught my husband for the fourth time in lies and porn addiction. I feel so betrayed. I have no one in my life to share this with...and I do not know where to turn. I first caught him before we were married. He was young and it affected his desire for intimacy. He told me it was nothing, then I found him at 2 am. The second time I caught him was a few years later. He had sworn he could stop but he was wrong. The third time was two years ago, and I left for three days. This past week, I found him looking at no kidding naked underwear "models" that I guess are pretending to sell body suits but really are basically naked. Each time, I realize he just got smarter about hiding it electronically but the desire did not stop. So, I think I am at a crossroads. I am 40 and have been with him since we were 22 years old. He is sad and ashamed, but then he relapses. My dad is an alcoholic...not violent but heavy drinker. I always thought I would take care not to be with an addict, because of what I saw my mom experience. And here I am, looking at apartments online and considering a lonely divorce because I do not know if I have enough in me to survive another betrayal. I am sick physically and emotionally... Worn Out and worn down. Would love to hear your thoughts - I care about him but I do not think I can stay to go through all of this again and again. I do not even think I can be with him physically now, after he could not...did not keep his promises. He did it while I was suffering from a major medical event. My heart is so broken.