In the last 2 months the longest I've been able to stay without pmo is 5 days and before that 3 weeks. Last night was bad. I pmo'd 3 times. Today I have been feeling dreadful and I have severe brain fog. I literally have to think after typing every word right now. At work a female coworker came to me for some help on some work related stuff. She's younger than me and a really good friend. Halfway she suddenly went "why does your voice sound like that?" and then "something about you is different today" and she gave me a funny expression and went away. I was actually completely dumbfounded because deep down I knew the 'changes' she noticed were a result of my pmo binge. Now I'm thinking what a profound effect pmo is having on my character. I always thought just acting normal around everyone is enough and no one would notice, I am socially awkward anyway. Today's encounter has definitely motivated me to seriously reboot again and pull my shit together.
It is good that problems become more obvious. It will help you to stay strong and not feel this way in the future. Keep moving forward.
