I've been watching porn for a bit over a decade now, am 21 rn, and although I always feel disgusted about where porn leads me on the internet, I keep relapsing. That dopamine rush of masturbating to hardcore pornography is so hard to replace, and I keep finding loopholes to peak and thus, relapse. What do you do when you want to forget about life and become a mindless addict?
Imagine yourself 10, 20, 30 years from now, and what would be the result of endulging on that path. And compare that with things you want in life, even if you don't see yourself right now with enough motivation to go chase and get them. You will quickly notice they are polar opposites. Life will happen, the clock will keep ticking, you can ignore life, but life won't forget or ignore you.
Just wanting to be at peace with myself, try to become a better person. I want to breathe and dance and meet people. I want to go outside and experience life I really do! Yet, there is still this part of me that just doesn't care, that wants to fly to porn world and masturbate my life away...
Well it is quite obvious what part you need to pay attention to and what part you need to disdain as if a mortal enemy within it is. You already know where this road leads. Take a different road. The big difference between people is not that they don't have their own demons within, we all do, is that some starve them and they end up weak, and others feed them, the battle against evil is never ending. Is easy, to let go, drinking, smoking, pmo, fast unhealthy food, you name it, and it's hard to lift oneself up against the temptations, but the more one does it, the weaker they become, not just because they starve, but because you become stronger, with more control over yourself and your impulses and emotions. You need to be the one in control and not the other way around, that's what makes the difference between someone that takes a drink a couple of times a year on marked ocassions, and fully enjoys them, as deprivation makes those few ocassions more valuable, and an alcoholic, that even when he gets drunk everyday, it never seems to be enough, and same applies to pmo, and pretty much anything enjoyable in life.
Honestly you are right. It would be so easy to just fall back and indulge and binge forever and always. It takes an actual spine and hard work to set up goals and abstain oneself from these addictions. Thank you for your encouraging words friend
