I just edged for over an hour

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ShotDunyun, Jun 18, 2016.

  1. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    And I feel weird. I took my dog out to play, I feel more relaxed now. It's insane how fast time passes when you are watching porn. After almost six months and just watching minor p subs every nos and then, now I went on a full porn session. I dont know if I can consider this a relapse or not, but I don't want to fall again. I don't know exactly why I am writing this, or if this even deserves a post, but I felt the urge to do it.
  2. I quit p about 4 years ago, never looked at porn in 3 years. what is it like, watching soft porn? I mean, are you not afraid you will get addicted again?
    ShotDunyun likes this.
  3. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    I watched porn, the porn I used to watch everyday. I'm afraid of falling into the same cycle again, yes. I think I just got confidentconfident about it. "I'll just take a peek, two minutes and thats it", the biggest lie ever. It doesn't feel any good, I feel weird actually.
    Dizzy Lotus likes this.
  4. yeah, that's how I felt, the 1 or to times I looked at it, it disgusted me.
    ShotDunyun likes this.
  5. JesusGreen

    JesusGreen Fapstronaut

    When it comes to edging it helps if we have a good understanding of how the neurochemistry of the brain works when masturbating to porn. We all know about dopamine and it's role in porn addiction, but a lot of us forget the most important thing about dopamine - the thing that makes resets/relapses happen.

    Dopamine is responsible for managing your survival priorities. If an activity is associated with enough dopamine release, you will choose to do it over ANYTHING else. What this means is that if you pumped someone full of enough dopamine in coincidence with the right stimuli - even the most kind and loving person could commit murder under its influence or do something equally bad or terrible, because dopamine completely rewires your decision making abilities. The murder part was no exaggeration. It's why under the influence of stimulants like cocaine etc people have done exactly that - normal non-violent people have committed murder because the excess dopamine completely rewired their normal thought processes.

    Dopamine is probably responsible for 99% of the evil acts that occur on this planet. This probably makes dopamine sound like some kind of super-villain or something, but that's not the case. Dopamine isn't the bad guy. Dopamine is essential to our survival, but the problem is dopamine is like a computer program. It simply follows orders, and doesn't think for itself. There's a saying in neurochemistry "neurons that fire together, wire together", and this is really where dopamine comes in. If you were to take someone into a room, and tell them to draw a red circle on the wall, and during the process inject them with dopamine.. Their brain would now see "Drawing red circle == good for my survival. Draw more red circles" and they would start drawing more without the researchers asking them to do so. Repeat the process, and eventually you'd let them out of the study and they'd be walking around all day drawing red circles on everyone's walls. They could know that drawing red circles did nothing, but they would still do it, because of the reward circuit they'd built up.

    So, whenever you masturbate to porn, you are strengthening those reward circuits in the long run, making your future urges stronger, etc. That isn't all there is to it though, it has a similar effect in the short run. You see, in the short run, dopamine's goal is to say "Woah this is really good for our survival, keep doing it, forget all other priorities! Focus only on this!" - this is why dopaminergic stimulants are useful for people with ADHD, since they can help them to focus. Normally this kind of functionality from an evolutionary perspective would fire when for example we're having sex or eating - dopamine would kick in and remind us not to stop until we get the job done. The role this had was to ensure we actually ate the food before it had a chance to spoil or someone else could steal it - or so that we climaxed from sex and would create more offspring rather than getting bored and stopping half way.

    So what happens with porn? Well that same response. The moment you start masturbating to porn that "Woah this is really good for our survival, keep doing it, forget all other priorities! Focus only on this!" response activates. Initially it's weak enough that you can perhaps think twice, re-evaluate, and stop. Your urges will still be stronger, your inhibitions will be lowered, your judgement will be sub-par.. But, you've stopped at least. Now if you continue, even more dopamine is released, and the longer you do it, the more excessive the dopamine release gets. It eventually gets to a point where all logic goes out the window and the only thing your body is capable of doing is continuing the activity that is associated with dopamine release - in this case, edging. So, unable to stop, you continue until orgasm, and reset/relapse.

    So it doesn't matter if you have like 10000000000000x normal willpower before you start edging. With every second edging, your brain is doing some quick rewiring of its priorities. By just a few minutes of edging your willpower will no longer be above average. A few minutes more and your willpower will be astonishingly low. A little more and you simply won't be able to resist because your brain thinks that it has to continue to survive.

    So my advice is you have to stop yourself BEFORE you start edging. If you leave it until after, it's already too late, because the moment you've spent even a few seconds touching, the chances of you stopping are decreasing with every second, until eventually it's written in stone that you'll give in.

    Your counter says it's for PMO or MO. You did PM, and you did M, but you didn't PMO or MO. So don't reset your counter. It's okay. We make mistakes, but read through everything I just said for a second time. Edging is a lot like playing russian roulette, you'll get away with it sometimes, but the one time you don't.. You're fucked. So instead of forcing yourself to reset, force yourself to make the commitment to not edge. If you ever find yourself tempted to edge, here's what you do: Distract yourself for 5 minutes so that any horniness cools off for a minute. Then honestly ask yourself if you want to reset or not. Unless you answered yes, then don't allow yourself to edge - because once you start, reset is a real possibility.

    Hope this helps! Best of luck!
    nopenotdoinit! and ShotDunyun like this.
  6. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    It helped a lot! Thank you forma taking your time writing such an awesome response. I actually just watched porn, I didn't touch myself, I know it's still bad, but I didn't know that watching porn and masturbating qualifies as edging.

    You're right, we all make mistakes but I feel like an idiot. I've been giving advice like "don't even peek bro" and look at me now. Thank you again man

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