I need dating advice ASAP!

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by reborn202026, Nov 26, 2019.

  1. reborn202026

    reborn202026 Fapstronaut

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    Hi

    I'm new in this forum and I need some dating advice.

    First thing you all need to know is that I am an idiot and that is why I made a mess of this situation.

    But here is the deal. I have known this girl for about 8 years now. In the beginning, I knew she liked me, but I was in love with someone else so I didn't do anything about it. As time went by, from time to time, I thought about going out with her because she is very pretty and very nice. But, she liked me and I was still in love with someone else, so I chose not to do anything.

    This was the situation until last year. We went to a party and she was dancing near me. But me being the idiot I am, I didn't do anything. Then, in February or March, there was an event here in my town that we both attended. But she didn't talk to me that day, even though, a friend of hers and her seemed to stay near where I was for a good amount of time while we were there. A month later, I went to a bar and she was there. When I got there, she was sitting near a table where my friends were. I talked to my friends but when I turned back to talk to her, she moved to a table in the other side of the room. I took that very personally as, even though I didn't use to like her, I was almost (sometimes I am hard to deal with, I admit it) always nice to her.

    But then something happened. She went to the bar with another guy and I got really jealous. In that moment I knew that I had a thing for her. But I kept my cool, after all, she isn't my girlfriend, so she is free to date other guys. I knew the guy she was with and talked to him briefly. After he went back to his table, she asked him if he was talking to me, but in a way to make it seem that she didn't know I was there. I got pissed off and it was clear by my voice tone, but I managed to keep my cool enough not to say anything stupid.

    After that day, I would only see her again in September. We were at a party and I thought I was over her. I was having fun and dancing with two friends of mine (a couple) when a girl that knew them approached us. I was talking to her and thinking about making a move. But when I looked back, the other girl (the one I need help with) had crossed her arms and looked furious. I decided not to do anything about the other girl and left the party. That day, I knew I wasn't over her and that was really into her and I left because she didn't look like she wanted to talk to me and I didn't want to do anything stupid to really upset her.

    In the beginning of this month, I saw her again. We were at another party. She smiled when she saw me and said hi to me. I went over to talk to her but only gave her a hug and went my way. This time, I could have approached her and made a move on her. But, I got afraid. Every negative thought possible crossed my mind. "She will reject you", "after all, you've done, do you really think she would want to be with you?" are just a few examples. When I left, I was disappointed at myself.

    Now the situation is the following. I think she still likes me but she is probably pissed off at me. I know that I like her as I can't take her out of my mind. But I don't see her very often. And after all that happened, I don't know if sending her a message is the best way to try to work things out. But I am out of options.

    What would you guys do?
     
    l'embellie likes this.
  2. l'embellie

    l'embellie Fapstronaut

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    I see why you got anxious, it's perfectly normal. While reading about it, I thought to myself "why are you stopping boi, go!" just as it happens while watching a really long romantic comedy you just want to yell it out.

    Well one way to see it is "I didn't do anything about it, I just couldn't have the balls why would she want to even see a potential between us ever again?". But what will that thought ever bring up? Do you think you are overthinking a simple text? Forget about the past mistakes and show that you are interested, in return if she is interested also that's great but if she doesn't show the interest nor have the time you can spend your valuable time and affection to a girl who is equally interested in you.

    The fun key to dating is you have the chance to move to the next round and discover more until you want to settle for one (or you can prefer to not settle at all).

    Hopefully this helped, for the better luck
     
    reborn202026 likes this.
  3. reborn202026

    reborn202026 Fapstronaut

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    You are right. I have to do something. And yes, I am overthinking it. I don't have that problem with other girls. But in this case, I am afraid of rejection. Let's say that this one would hurt a little bit more hahaha. Still, I have to do something.

    I was thinking about it even before I read your response and I am going to do what I usually do in these situations. Be myself, be honest and show her that I am interested. It is really all I can do. I can't predict the outcome. And your response gave me more confidence to do it. It also gave me more clarity as I am wasting a lot of time thinking about it, but doing nothing about it, which isn't healthy.

    So thank you very much. This was really helpful.
     
  4. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    Bro thinking this much about another person is unhealthy. Next time you see her talk to her. Ask her if she wants to hang out sometime. If she says no, move on. If she says yes, then you have a date. This girl probably isn't special, she just showed some interest in you and since not many other girls do that makes her special to you. Talk to other girls.

    Stop calling yourself an idiot. You messed up, but you can learn from it.
     
    reborn202026 likes this.
  5. reborn202026

    reborn202026 Fapstronaut

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    I agree. Thanks for keeping it real.


    She is special. I've known her for a long time and I won't change my opinion even if she ends up saying no, which is one more reason to ask her out anyway. And other girls show interest in me hahaha. I am just not willing to date any of them until I figure this situation out, which once again, is one more reason to ask her out.

    But your point is still valid. I need to do something. I can't live my life like this anymore. It is totally unhealthy. So, thanks for your help.
     

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