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I need help/advice

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Selfimprovementjourney, Sep 29, 2020.

  1. Sep 29, 2020 #1
    Selfimprovementjourney

    Selfimprovementjourney New Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    Just joined the community today. I started NoFap a few months ago and I am on my 3rd attempt and on day 4. My first 2 attempts were 21 days and then 45 days. I need help overcoming this horrible addiction and wanted to know if there are others who experienced the same as I. My addiction came from pornography on tumblr. In the form of video, image, and gifs. The real disgusting part is that it was only incest as well. If it wasn't that, then I didn't enjoy it or got aroused from it. I actually don't feel like that about my real family. The thought of that with an actual family member is just pure disgusting. However it was something that I really enjoyed when on tumblr and PMOing. I feel really embarrassed talking about this but I really want to get over this sick idea and recover from PMO. Is there Anyone else with a similar story that can give me advice and tips to really recover from this and live a better life?

    Also, my last relapse was this past Friday. And unfortunately it was from creating an account and looking at the inappropriate blogs from Tumblr. After it happened I regretted it immediately but I forgot to delete the account. Today I went in to delete the account but immediately after logging in, an inappropriate image appeared right away. For the first second after seeing it, I stared at it. But after another 2 seconds later, I immediately felt disgusted and proceeded with deleting the account. I didn't get an erection or touch myself when that happened. However I still feel very guilty about it and felt that the 3 day streak is already ruined. Would you consider that a relapse?

    Thank you all in advance for the support.
     
    Selfimprovementjourney, Sep 29, 2020
    Selfimprovementjourney, Sep 29, 2020
    #1
    Master Chips likes this.
  2. Sep 29, 2020 #2
    Randy Andy

    Randy Andy Fapstronaut

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    Why worry about three days? It isn't as if resetting means you're bad it's just about being honest with self and others. Plus the details you shared make it even more spacious a decision for you: reset or do not reset either is fine. Remember it's about switching from dishonesty with self to honesty more than details like a counter. Another way to say the same thing is that not only does a reset not mean one is bad neither does a number (ie not resetting) make one good. I know people with thousands of days, some addicts some are not and no surprise the non addicts have more thousands of days :).
     
    Randy Andy, Sep 29, 2020
    Randy Andy, Sep 29, 2020
    #2
    Master Chips and Selfimprovementjourney like this.
  3. Sep 30, 2020 #3
    Jefe Rojo

    Jefe Rojo Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

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    Wow, nice job building those streaks! That’s hard to do and it shows that you’re making good progress. The P you used to view is wrong and you know deep down that it is wrong. You’re right, it does not represent your real feelings. You would never do that in real life. While I don’t have a problem with P anymore, I can relate to problematic behavior as I’m trying to rid myself of embarrassing fetishes and MO. I have come to realize that these problems do not define me as a person. They are not who I really am. I am more in it for the dopamine and adrenaline rush. Afterwards I feel sick and disgusted with myself.
    What I have discovered is that with addiction you need to become an honest person in order to overcome it. Who else knows about your addiction? Who could you confide in? Would you ever consider joining an SAA group or seeing a therapist? Telling someone else in person really neutralizes the issue. Having an accountability partner makes you have to answer for your unwanted behaviors.

    I wouldn’t worry about resetting your counter. What matters most is that you stopped looking. And you didn’t MO. In my mind that is a great sign that you are building your willpower.

    Keep up the good work and keep your head up. You’re making progress. Believe in yourself and you’ll put this all behind you.
     
    Jefe Rojo, Sep 30, 2020
    Jefe Rojo, Sep 30, 2020
    #3
    Selfimprovementjourney and Master Chips like this.

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