I need the Community opinion on this...

Bro really.. online dating is so well not worth it.

girls edit their pictures until it looks
Completely different than their real selves. And not different in a good way..

In my opinion girls who date online do it mostly for the attention and guys who do it do it out of curiosity naivity desperation or simply because they have no clue. Get out there get into a social circle with girls start cold approach. Online dating yields you nothing good. L

 

I feel that online dating is a convenient tool. It saves up time and effort. Nice convenience of modern technology. But it can also be a trap. You want to get her into meeting for real date as soon as possible. Chatting for weeks without moving forward is waste of time. There is a lot of BS going on there from girls who are not even looking for dates, they just want chatting and that's all. Offline it's easy to cut past that nonsense; she either likes you and will be willing to spend some more time with you or will tell you to bugger off. You can see that right away, online you can't.

As far as I see it, stimulation is stimulation. I don't believe artificial stimulation is necessary bad. Not even porn to be honest in my opinion. It becomes a problem when it is too much and when it starts to replace real relationships and dating, that's when it becomes a problem. Kinda like unhealthy fast food or smoking; you can have one cigar a month and occasional cheat meal and it won't effect your health. if you smoke and ate crap on a daily then it will have negative consequences.

Online she posts triggering picture and offline she shows short skirt and legs. That can also be triggering. As long as you have enough self control I don't think there is a problem. If you feel it's danger to relapse then I would recommend to stay away from it. You are the best as judging whether you feel it's a p-sub for you or just a convenient tool to get a date offline. So far judging by what you are saying it seems to be a p-sub for you. So I think maybe it's best to just approach girls offline instead.

 

echoing shugi shugi, self control is super important here. you just gotta evaluate the priority of this thing in your life versus your discipline to fight its triggers. I watch a lot of skating videos online with lot of girls in them, but these videos motivate me to skate damn it, and I know my discipline's good so I can deal. but that won't be the case for everyone

 

I met my now husband through an online dating site. So it really does work for some people. We're Christians so it was a Christian dating site and there were actually no pictures. Of course, I later found out he had a porn addiction that he hid from me until we'd been married 5 years (please don't do that!) but we're still together and I love him.

 

All I would say is, if you do decide to pursue women via online means, be VERY careful about potential triggers. Otherwise, you can quickly find yourself looking at porn, on chat sites etc.

There's no replacing speaking to people face-to-face. Whichever way you go, don't forget that & make sure you're getting out there & meeting people. We need the social connection & not just to find a mate, have sex etc.

Wisdom & strength!

T22.