I really don't understand how I haven't found a girlfriend yet.

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by zxcv, Apr 12, 2017.

  1. zxcv

    zxcv Fapstronaut

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    I'm 28, Christian. I've gotten my associates and just about to finish my bachelors degree. My class are pretty guys only since it's more in the IT area and girl for some reason usually don't want to become programmers. I work as a cart pusher at a grocery store, and I also have internship where I'm some art and programming. Sadly that's a stay at home job. I also goto church once a week, and I'm not having any luck there. I also play magic the gathering at a card shop on Friday night, but girls usually don't like to play Magic.

    Personality wise, I'm pretty shy until I start to get know people. Then I start opening up as I start to trust them. I'm pretty laid back, I like to stay home or in a quiet environment. I'm looking for other areas to meet girls, but I really don't know where to go. I would like to find another Bible study to goto but not having any luck with that. Then there's also the fact that they usually tend to be guy or girls only.

    Interests, I'm in heavy metal, video game, anime, Magic: The Gathering, God, Mythology, lost of different things in that area.
     
    iWILL123 likes this.
  2. I feel sorry for you but I don't have any advice. Why don't you just focus on yourself and do God's work and maybe the woman might show up. I'm sorry, I'm not a relationship expert.
     
  3. J247

    J247 Fapstronaut

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    Go to a comic con or something?
     
  4. Purps

    Purps Guest

    I mean from the hobbies you are into it would put you into ''nerdy'' category and there is nothing wrong with that I guess. I guess you just need to find a similar girl for you.

    I'm sure it is just the question of time. Your hobbies do not make it easier for you to pickup women or find a girlfriend but who am I to advice you to drop the things you like or love.

    Maybe besides video games, anime and card games you could start working more on your outer ''shield'' start working out and jogging for your health and confidence. That would be a start and since you do a lot of sitting working out will do just good for you.
     
    Headspace likes this.
  5. silenteagle

    silenteagle Fapstronaut

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    I completely agree.You need to do some things that you have never done before!Its easier said than done.But,its the only way to success!
     
  6. Ah, yes! A Bible study, the best place where to pick up chicks... :emoji_rolling_eyes: Yea, probably not, try OkCupid instead. Or maybe ChristianMingle or something like that, if you think that suits you better. Anyhow, with all this wonderful technology at your fingertips there isn't really a need to leave the house to find a girlfriend.
     
    Aiyoshi likes this.
  7. zxcv

    zxcv Fapstronaut

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    I tried okcupid and Christianmingle, none of the girls responded to me.
     
  8. J247

    J247 Fapstronaut

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    Gotta beef up your profile, bud! Girls on dating websites are generally easy. You just have to have cheesy pics and a page without grammatical errors.
     
  9. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    You have to become a douchebag. Women seem to love douchebags.
     
    djmotion likes this.
  10. zxcv

    zxcv Fapstronaut

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    I'm hoping to find a girl that's waiting for marriage, not one that's easy.
     
  11. J247

    J247 Fapstronaut

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    Yeaaah. I'm in the same boat. Seems like the options are: A. Hot and has sex B. Meh and maybe a virgin C. Oh dear lord, she's definitely a virgin *vomit* D. She was a virgin till marriage, had kid(s), then her husband divorced her... where is there someone cute, AND saving themself till marriage!?
     
  12. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Your mix of activities is interesting, and I think you will find your girl on a heavy metal concert.

    Look out for that woman with black lipstick, gothic tattoo and a black shirt with a prayer on it. She loves dogs, and at home, she is breeding insects and feeding it to her blue iguana. Beyond heavy metal, she is going to church, and she dreams of a guy like you, with whom she can travel to northern europe !
     
    Knighthawk likes this.
  13. This is pretty crazy how similar my situation is! I'm 23, also a Christian, and I love heavy metal and have trouble getting opportunities to meet single women haha. I would say try to find a topical bible study for people around your age. They can't all be gender separated! Secondly, do you play music and does your church have like a worship team/band? I met a wonderful girl (that I'm STILL working on... ) through music at church.
    Thirdly, go to a heavy metal concert! I'm very picky with who I pay money to see, but I end up at a handful or more concerts/shows every year and there's usually at least a few beautiful women at every one. You gotta put yourself out there man! I wish you the best in your efforts and God Bless!
     
  14. Dude you just described my dream woman and ideal life in Europe!!!
     
    Aiyoshi and SnowWhite like this.
  15. Tingjian Hu

    Tingjian Hu New Fapstronaut

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    I‘m very glad to answer your question. Just'cause this is my first time to answer questions here.
    And i was shy and don't know how to find a girlfriend before either, but now i have a girlfriend through my own research on relationships. These are my own ideas, but I really hope my advices can help you.

    Firstly, you should learn how to talk with strangers(men or women are both OK) by two steps below.
    (1)Go out of your house, and try to talk just a little more than ever with strangers who are on bus/walk in the street/go shopping/etc. If it's too hard, you can begin with asking passersby the way or time. Remember! Don't be afraid of losing faces and try to lose faces initiatively. Once you lose face again and again, you don't care about it anymore. This practice can overcome your fear to talk with strangers.
    (2)Then connect your words with people's reactions(happy or not?), summarize which kind of words can create a good communication.
    These two steps can give your couragement and help you build the ability of talking.I know it's seemed hard, but if you try it the first time, it won't be so hard as you think. Good luck, man. I hope you can do it.

    Sencondly, to be an intersting man.It's really the most important thing for everyone, I think. Intersting can help you attract others.

    Then, be mystery. Don't talk too much. Learn to control the degree.

    At last, to be a good man. If you know how to communicate with girls and date with them, be a good man and respect girls.

    Actually i am not satisfied with my answers, it's complex, i think. Maybe it's my first time to answer questions here, i feel a little bit nervous. Sorry, i hope i can do better later, and good luck for you! Best wishes!
     
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  16. Aiyoshi

    Aiyoshi Fapstronaut

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    Aren't you trying too hard? You sound desperate tbh, and it often works the other way around.

    Just enjoy yourself dude. Solitute is one of the best things in life! Do something you trully enjoy and show the world how awesome you are and you'll be 5 steps ahead in the attraction game. Talk to them, make some friends, enjoy those heavy metal concerts and preachings in the church!
     
  17. Tingjian Hu

    Tingjian Hu New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your advices. It's excited to see diffirent opinions. Yes, it's hard. But change myself is also a choice just like the choice you mentioned. No matter the choice is easy or hard, it is a good choice as long as you feel it deserves.
     
    Aiyoshi likes this.
  18. Rigel7

    Rigel7 Fapstronaut

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    I had a friend who was pretty similar to you who also enjoyed the trifecta of God, heavy metal and Magic: The Gathering. He managed to find a relationship through online dating and they got engaged within a year. I really get the sense that your faith is important to you, so meeting someone who shares that faith is really important.

    As a Christian myself, I totally understand how difficult it is to meet Christian women. If there is no one you're interested in at your church or bible study, then it's slim pickings unless you get out there and make some opportunities. I know you said you already tried online dating, but I really think you ought to give it a go again. How are you presenting yourself online? Your commitment to faith and marriage actually ought to be strong selling points so I think you might need to emphasise those parts of your character to make yourself more attractive. And I think at your age, those things would more likely work in your favour as Christian women in their mid-late 20s tend to value those things more.

    I wish you all the best. Hope an opportunity to meet someone finds its way towards you.
     
  19. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    Only women who are douchebags themselves do. Why would you want to be with a douchebag?
     
  20. djmotion

    djmotion Fapstronaut

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    This is your problem really, women like that aren't easy to come by, to be honest most girls have lost their virginity by 14 years old these days. I'm not saying you should change who you are but like the other guys said your hobbies aren't the best hobbies for meeting chicks and you said you like being alone at home, women will go more for outgoing, careless, confident men. You should stick with your hobbies though if they make you happy but the cold, hard truth is it's just gonna be harder to find a girl but not impossible, only thing I can advice is if you see a girl whilst doing any of your hobbies like church or whatever then approach her and speak to her, best bet you have really.
     

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