I just got home from work and I’m crying for the first time since my best friends suicide. I just thought this shit was behind me. I don’t know what to do I’m in panic mode and I’m getting thoughts of suicide, I won’t act on it. I’ve felt great for months and have been dating and just had my first successful orgasm with a partner a few weeks ago. All I did was scroll through the Facebook of a girl I used to know and all my symptoms started coming back. My chest has been pounding nonstop for 5 days and I’m worn out. I can’t fucking sleep and my dick that was just working for the first time in my life seems like it’s on a hair trigger. I didn’t even mean to scroll the Facebook but I guess it mimics pmo. My nerves are shot and they feel like they are burning. I missed the gym 5 days in a row which is the longest in over 2 years. This was the year I quit nicotine and watched zero porn and I’m ending it crying feeling like my body is in shock and that I want a cigarette. What the fuck do I do..