I think I’m having a nervous breakdown

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Hisself, Dec 28, 2019.

  1. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

    411
    308
    63
    I just got home from work and I’m crying for the first time since my best friends suicide. I just thought this shit was behind me. I don’t know what to do I’m in panic mode and I’m getting thoughts of suicide, I won’t act on it. I’ve felt great for months and have been dating and just had my first successful orgasm with a partner a few weeks ago. All I did was scroll through the Facebook of a girl I used to know and all my symptoms started coming back. My chest has been pounding nonstop for 5 days and I’m worn out. I can’t fucking sleep and my dick that was just working for the first time in my life seems like it’s on a hair trigger. I didn’t even mean to scroll the Facebook but I guess it mimics pmo. My nerves are shot and they feel like they are burning. I missed the gym 5 days in a row which is the longest in over 2 years. This was the year I quit nicotine and watched zero porn and I’m ending it crying feeling like my body is in shock and that I want a cigarette. What the fuck do I do..
     
  2. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

    411
    308
    63
    I can’t believe I’m back to this feeling that I thought I would never experience again. It is literal hell and I didn’t even look at porn or masturbate. I just saw an arousing picture on Facebook of somebody I know
     
  3. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

    411
    308
    63
    My chest has been steadily pounding for 5 fucking days. I just want to go back to how I felt last week. It ruined my Christmas and even though I’ve sworn off pills since March I’ve been taking Xanax just to help me sleep.
     
  4. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

    411
    308
    63
    I didn’t even realize it would have this affect on me til the next day either. Immediately after I just felt a little brainfogggy but no more than normal social media use. That night I started waking up with a pounding chest and anxiety and dead dick feeling.
     
  5. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

    411
    308
    63
    When will my heart rate go back to normal I’m scared
     
  6. Sounds like it’s a panic attack?
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  7. Any alcohol involved? Weed?
     
  8. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

    411
    308
    63
    It’s been going on for 5 days I’ve been tracking my steps for years and yesterday was the most I’ve ever taken at over 41,000 I can’t sit down because I start to notice my heartbeat and it gives me worse anxiety I can’t go to dr no insurance
     
  9. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

    411
    308
    63
    No weed since June and no alcohol since April 2018
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  10. Espi1971

    Espi1971 Fapstronaut

    1,500
    4,044
    143
    I wish I knew what to say to rid your pain and suffering.

    Wishing you peace and strength my friend.

    This sounds corny but many times I have found it to be true:

    "This too shall pass."
     
    angelpart likes this.
  11. Espi1971

    Espi1971 Fapstronaut

    1,500
    4,044
    143
    How old are you?
    Any heart problems in the past?
     
  12. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

    411
    308
    63
    I always push my comfort zone. I build a life where I’m the frontman for a band and I do public speaking in education and have women I talk to that I’m interested in, then a lapse like this sends me into panic mode and I feel like I can’t take it and wanna escape by any means necessary. If I escape then I won’t be happy when I return to my senses
     
  13. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

    411
    308
    63
    I’ll be 27 next month. No only when I get triggered then I get pounding heart for days/weeks. It’s been 5 days
     
  14. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

    411
    308
    63
    I have no interest in porn and haven’t in over a year. I stopped all scrolling on social media until this past Monday when I scrolled on a girls timeline in a moment of anxiety. I can’t believe I’m getting this response though. This happened to me on February 5 of last year when I saw an accidental porn pic and I had several panic attacks. I’ve been pmo free since then and I’m still getting this reaction how long will I react like this it makes me wanna die
     
  15. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

    411
    308
    63
    I’m normally a very confident guy as well as being laid back and calm
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  16. Espi1971

    Espi1971 Fapstronaut

    1,500
    4,044
    143
    I'm not a physician but I've suffered plenty of panic attacks. I'm with @Jonny99999. I suspect you're having a panic attack.

    I will tell you what has helped me: deep, slow breaths. I also like to repeat a soothing mantra after each breath (i.e. "calm"). Usually panic attacks subside after a few minutes.
     
  17. lakshya561

    lakshya561 Fapstronaut

    9
    43
    13
    i know exactly what you are going through.
    My heart beat would stay extremely high, and i would feel a ton for anxiety, until I would do something completly out of my comfort zone.

    The same happened to me as well, if I see a girl in collect who I would find attractive, thats the point my heart would usually start pounding away, and mind numbing anxiety would get on me.

    I will directly give you the solution.

    1. Do something complytly out of your comfort zone. Do something that would give you even more anxiety than what you are currently experiencing. I would simply go and talk to the girl I liked. 5 min of even higher anxiety would save the rest of 7-8 hours left in my day to live and sleep in peace until the heart beat goes up again the next and the process repeats. Carefully try and notice what though exactly triggers your thought and do something to grow or progress in that area, and do something to grow in that area.

    2. You need to be around people you like.

    On the primal level, all this anxiety and high heartbeat are you and your body realising the lack of a social group you may have which may lessen your chances of survival.

    How my nofap attempts have you been through before?

    And buddy feel free to ask anything. I have been through everything that you are. 90+ days clean
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  18. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

    411
    308
    63
    I haven’t watched porn since October 12 2018 I only get these reactions when something triggers me. I know it’s not a panic attack because it’s been ongoing for 5 straight days. I even went to get an hr long nude massage the other day and I am still feeling helpless with my heart pounding. I have no trouble staying away from porn it’s just these symptoms that arise when I see something triggering..
     
  19. Arnuld

    Arnuld Fapstronaut

    362
    548
    93
    Hey Brother hang in there. I think the fear of returning back to a the previous porn damaged state has sent your anxiety spinning out of control. I’m really sorry. I know how bad constant anxiety can feel. You may need to seek professional help via a psychologist or a psychiatrist if you can’t seem to rein the anxiety in over the next few days.
     
    Espi1971 and Hisself like this.
  20. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

    411
    308
    63
    I wish I could but I don’t have insurance. I also am not usually like this, porn and porn subs send me into a panic state even if I don’t search them out.
     

Share This Page