I want to find the love of my life, but I struggle with social anxiety

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by thisisntmyrealusername, Jul 11, 2021.

  1. I’m a 20 years old male, always been single and a virgin as I’m waiting for marriage. I have been struggling for several years with pmo but making significant progress now, and I also feel like I’m ready to actually date and possibly marry someone now. I just don’t know how to meet someone like that, and how to go from a friendship to a romantic relationship.

    I have a few friends, and also female friends, but it’s never been more than that. I feel like I’m not enough, not interesting enough, not fun enough etc when I get a romantic interest for someone and try to flirt with them or show romantic affection. I do struggle with confidence and social anxiety, and I really don’t know how to get past this. Please help.
    Wilde°, Randy Andy and Vanquisher12 like this.
  2. DarkHunter

    DarkHunter Fapstronaut

    Find yourself first, not love.
    Do nofap.
    Go to gym or find some hobby.
    Become interesting.
    Become confident.
    Don't look for love, look for having good time with girls and eventually u will find something after several years.
    Good luck.
    Agent 6 and Vanquisher12 like this.
  3. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

    Work on yourself to be the best version you can be. Be proud of who you become. Go after your goals and ambitions, do stuff. Turn your life into a life you really enjoy living.
    When you are having fun and living a happy life you are going to feel worthy, you are going to feel that you can score with every woman.

    Work on yourselve to be happy alone, be the best catch you can be and focus all your attention in you. Once woman show romantic attention to you and you are interested in them, then start the dating procces with them. Read "How to be a 3% man" so you can learn how to properly date woman.

    Confidence comes from within, if you feel not worthy, not fun, insecure of yourselve you are going to sttrugle in social interaction. After working on yourselve, you are going to be confortable in your own skin, you are not going to care about other people think about you. That's when you are going to be confortable everywere with everyone.

    Know something for a fact... most people are toxic, demaged, narccisist or with self steem issues. So not only you need to work on yourselve to be better than that, you also need to filter the people you share your life with. You can land a woman in the next years and you can feel you are happy but she can be totally crazy and make your life a living hell.

    Bottom line, work on yourselve and live a happy life by yourselve. Wait for woman to show romantic interest in you and start dating them to have fun with them and to know if they are healthy woman. If they are, everntually in the future you can choose to have a serious relationship with them. If not you are better off alone, than dating a toxic woman.
    becomingreat likes this.
  4. Randy Andy

    Randy Andy Fapstronaut

    The great news is you don't have to worry about any of that. Anybody who thinks they don't feel this way is lying to themselves, and regardless none of it means anything. I felt this way so by life and still do (not enough, not good enough, not doing enough, awkward, not sure what to say... Etc etc ad nauseum) and I have a happy marriage of many years. The right person comes along and nothing matters. I don't feel any if those things with her anymore and years ago when we met I felt a lot less of it with her than with other people. I mean I used to feel all that with even the love of my life since we don't necessarily know for sure from the beginning but it's gotten a lot better with just jumping in head first over the years. Cliches are true I recommend listening to them. The difficulty is the process, probably you want to know when things will happen and how, you want to know what to say but there no need to know ahead of time if you can practice the free fall of knowing that you will know at the right time. You don't have to trust, you don't have to like it, you don't have to know ahead of time, you don't have to be any different or do anything special. Just notice how everything happens, pay attention to whether things are clear at certain times.
  5. jcl1990

    jcl1990 Fapstronaut

    Do you ever lift weights? I’ve noticed lifting weights helps to lessen the fear of outside reality, at least for me. Cardio workouts are good for the body, but as far as getting rid of fear - lifting weights

    also, are you waiting until marriage for religious reasons? Can you still make out?

    Just start lifting weights. Read some philosophy or religion books. Make moves on girls. Go for the kiss. Stop putting yourself in the friend zone. Try to kiss a female friend. Just start asking women out. You need to level up your energy. I get pessimistic and lethargic at times too. It’s all in your head

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