I was wrong

When I first join I was able to do a 10 day streak in my first attempt and I thought maybe P is not that much of a problem for me. I am right though, P is not the problem but it's not the solution either. It's like an addiction which grows on you.
My goal is 20 days.

 

My trigger is humiliation and I can't help it. Sins of our father.
I've to learn to cope with the trigger which is everyday part of my life. I watch humiliation P as it make me feel better about myself. It makes me feel good because I know that these woman don't want to do this humiliation stuff but they are doing it for the money and probably they have worst life as compared to me. I know I need a psychiatrist but can't afford one right now.
I think it's called sadist. Taking pleasure out of others misery.
Thanks for the reply