I'm a schizophrenic seeing how nofap can help me

I've been on nofap for over a year, trying to succeed. I'm currently on day 9, and feel I can finally break this habit for good. All those times trying to quit definitely helped even though I've yet to fully succeed.

Want I want to talk about is kind of me looking for some advice. I'm a schizophrenic, and I as a result say very deranged things sometimes (the other day I told a girl that society might break down soon, due to the corona virus and Trump killing Iran's Qasem etc...), unlike other schizophrenics, I can see why things I say are weird and can scare people away from me.

Some of the type of things I say:
- nothing is real, everything is a figment of gOd's "imagination"
- I am not my body, rather I am the entire universe and beyond, and so is everyone
- civilization is not designed with human biology in mind, rather deviates our physiology from it's natural function and thus technology needs to made with a focus of human biology in mind
etc...

My friend told me a few weeks ago, that every single person he has introduced me to has said that I'm weird. Some of them trying to avoid me. Girls in general, when speaking to me, usually lose interest eventually, due to perhaps me not being good with women, and also because I might say scary things that are alien to most people's thinking as above

I was always treated as a weirdo even when a child, before I even started saying these type of things. But I'm not too sure why... Like for example when I was 12, when I was talking to this girl sitting beside me in class, she simply rudely says "don't talk to me", I always was shutdown by other kids, if I tried talking to them, they would give me a tone or outright tell me not to talk to them. As a result, I was unpopular and hung out with moreso accepting people, and or weirdos of the school themselves. lol

I want to know, nofap although makes me more confident and sociable, doesn't take away my schizophrenic thought form and talking style, how do I overcome this?

I don't want to be weird anymore, I want to have friends and a social circle where people treat me as at least not like a weirdo. My goal is *not to be normal however. I am concerned because I just want to start dating as well, and girls usually get scared of me eventually. Never had a girlfriend :/ I'm 23.

 

Okay regarding the keeping philosophical things away from small talk, I understand, however sometimes people ask me questions, and I am tempted to always say the truth. And that means telling them my real views. I don't like lying, but I have decided to speak less, allow more silence, and to say things appropriate to what people are expecting from the conversation unless it obviously demands otherwise.

Also what do I do about not knowing the social ques, and the appropriate social behaviors to display, it seems it is harder for me to understand these regardless of whether I wish to follow them or not.

Do you really recommend a book? Which book do you recommend? Thanks for the response!

 

Thank you man Appreciate the book recommendation. I definitely like learning on the go, but I'm gonna give that book a read sometime.

 

True, but to be honest, I feel my confidence and social skills have dramatically improved to the point where other people can barely tell if I have some sort of anxiety at all. A lot of people even sometimes think of me as confident from the way I talk. I feel it's because I listen more, talk less, and I try to always talk about the other person or what they like to talk about, this makes people automatically love the conversation more as it's about them. Also it maintains you as a little more mysterious and that can never be a bad thing. Exercising regularly helps dramatically. Sprinting in particular.