I'm back at the forum, here is my journey:

After being off the forum (and challenge) for a month, I'm back and i'm keeping you updated. Last time I didn't had a thread for my journey but I think and hope it will help me with stopping PMO. Support is always welcome, so if you want to, share your support and mabye I can help you too!

 

It seems like you are really into the challenge, I have started this just a month ago and I didn't understand some of the things you just talked about, like the 'one 12 step SA meeting' and where you can find such webinars. Could you/someone explain it please?

 

First of all, thank you for the help, I'll look up the websites and I'll share my thoughts and questions. And to answer your question, I live in The Netherlands

 

Day 2
It was quite easy to stick to the challenge yesterday, except in the evening it was quite hard. I was looking on Instagram and I was thinking 'don't do it, don't do it' and I managed not to do it. When I get horny in the morning or midday, i just go outside (it's winter here so it's quite cold outside) and when I get back inside it doesn't come back. but in the evening when i'm lying in my bed, it is becoming harder.
By the way there is no day one post, because I started this blog on day 2

 

Thank you again for your help. I looked up the website you referred to in your last post but unfortunately I haven't really found anything except the meetings that could help.
Let's see what I learn from the meetings, and if it actually works.
I was just wondering, how long have you been doing this ''challenge'' yourself?

 

Sorry I haven't written in 3 days, I think the best way to describe what happened the last three days is to just write what I remember from these days so:

Day 3: As I remember day 3 was quite easy, I did what I wanted to do during the day, and celebrated New years eve with a friend and his parents. I slept in his house so i had no trouble with the PMO challenge at all

Day 4: I didn't sleep very well between day 3 and 4, so I was quite tired, I know that if i'm tired I'm faster attracted to porn, but I managed to stick to the challenge and I was very happy to see this discipline in myself.

Day 5: I started the day with a cold shower and the push ups as I had planned to do during the challenge, but I wondered in what circumstances the porn videos were made, so I looked it up on Youtube, I tought it would be no problem since porn is forbidden at Youtube. During the midday I went to a girl who is in my class. I really liked it so until then it was a good day. But in the evening when I lay in my bed, I noticed that all this made me really want to watch porn, and unfortunately, I did it.

So I'm starting again today, things I want to do better this time is to come to the forum every day, because it makes me some kind of hate the whole porn industry, and if I am interested in something related to porn I have to search it in text form, because I think that will give me the information too, and doesn't make me want to watch porn as much as this time.

 

Okay, thank you for the suggestion, but I actually don't know where to find help, because it's quite strange to talk to my parents about it, and most of my friends are girls, so I don't see that as an option either. I just thought about searching help on the internet, but I don't feel close enough to ask for help to someone on the internet. If you have any further suggestions, please let me know

 

Day 1: Yesterday didn't really feel like a first day, I did notice a bit less motivation to do the things I planned, but there could be another reason for that. I don't really remember it as a hard day in terms of PMO, so that's a good thing I guess.

 

Day 2: Yesterday went very well, I went ice skating with a few friends, and I didn't feel attracted to anyone at all. I don't really know what else to say, in terms of pmo it was almost too easy

 

Since I had more time planned to write this, I'm also going to write the day report of Day 3:
The challenge was almost not there today, maybe it was even easier than yesterday, since I didn't see any girls except my family. Tomorrow I have to go back to school, so I hope it is as easy as the last two days. Really, I feel like the addiction has given up to me, but actually I think it won't be this easy for the rest of the days but I'll see. Btw im writing this before going to bed, so it could go wrong in the next half hour, but I don't think it will happen. I'll keep you updated!

 

So what you did was seeing the addiction as a part of yourself, on which you are not negative, this is really relatable to my own way of thinking. What I meant by saying the addiction has given up was saying it was not hard at all, but shortly after saying it, it became quite hard so I think you really were right about what you said. Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it!

 

Day 4:
On day four, things were like the opposite of day 3, I managed to keep up with the challenge, but it was really hard. As I said in my last post(s), I went back to school yesterday and that made it even harder. I also lost a part of my motivation, so if someone has a motivation source outside this forum and the web pages named earlier in this thread, please share it with me/us. The last thing I want to say in this 'day report' is that I learned that the 'ups and downs' everyone talks about in conversations about nofap or life in general, are really there. So I think I already learned something from this challenge after four days.