I'm confused about the role of fantasy in sex while practicing no PMO, any advise?

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by nomo, Dec 14, 2014.

  1. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    I've always enjoyed thinking about certain fantasies while having sex with a partner or masturbating. Over the years I've acted these fantasies out with my partners to the enjoyment for both me and my partners. I thought thinking about fantasies during sex was 100% "normal." Now I'm not sure?

    My goal is to eliminate PMO and enjoy a healthy sex life without looking at porn or spending time masturbating. The only way for me to do this is to eliminate PMO and MO completely.

    My question is, While I'm having sex, if I'm fantasizing about a scenario in my mind, am I blocking the rebooting process?

    Any advise that you share or links about this subject would be appreciated.

    Thank you.
     
  2. Cojax

    Cojax Fapstronaut

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    I have the same questions. I do think that, if porn and fantasy gave me Ed problems, then visualizing porn and fantasy will only hurt my reboot. Just my thougts
     
  3. ruwetty

    ruwetty Fapstronaut

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    It is my understanding that fantasy is a normal part of sex during sex. If the physical stimulation is coming from a partner not yourself, then it would follow that it would not interfer with the reboot, may even help. So long as the stimulation is "healthy". Just a thought.
     
  4. KrmGrn

    KrmGrn Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure, but personally I want to stop fantasizing during sex. I do it every time when I'm with my girlfriend. I think it may be common when you've been with someone awhile. But I'd still like to stop. I'd like to be able to enjoy what's actually happening and who I'm actually with, rather than rely on fantasy.
     
  5. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply, and I agree with your answer. I was hoping to see if there were any professionals or links on this subject, but I think anything consensual between adults is a good thing. The main point of this is no PMO and a healthier mental life.
    Congratulations on beating your previous goal by 7-days, stay strong and keep going.
     
  6. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    My problem is that I like my fantasies and I believe they enhance the sex act for me. I'm wondering if there are any links that someone will share on the subject?
    Thanks for the reply.
     
  7. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    Ultimately I believe what you want to accomplish of being in the moment with the person that you are with would be the best way to go. However I like my fantasies and they enhance my sexual experience. Maybe I'm a shallow guy? Either way I know just stopping PMO will bring rewards that I don't have now.

    Thanks for the reply and good luck with your program.
     
  8. ruwetty

    ruwetty Fapstronaut

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    I would suggest that if one wishes to focus on the one they are with, then one must get out of their own head where the fantasies lie and focus on the moment. One thing that may help is to talk to your partner call her by name respond to her movement and stay focused on pleasing her. This may help to keep your focus on your partner and out of your own thoughts and fantacy.
     
  9. Kylesean

    Kylesean Fapstronaut

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    You might be a bit bored of your girlfriend ;) hahahahahaha i mean like two probably just need to spice things up a little cause if you can then your girlfriend can be alot more exciting then the fantasies in your head. Just giving a suggestion i guess lol btw not saying to go extreme i mean use anticipation give her all of those emotions etc. and thatl make her even love you more cause girls are attracted to emotions.

    Another thing is sex is about letting go so just be in the presence moment with her like don't fantasise just be in the moment. Just saying this all from studying sexuality and all that. It might help you but maybe not i guess i'd just share that info just in case it might be of use:)
     
  10. Kylesean

    Kylesean Fapstronaut

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    In other words when u have sex dont go all into it straight awayit should take at least an hour of anticipation before you start so it gets yous both that excitement
     
  11. Personal Freedom

    Personal Freedom Fapstronaut

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    Commonly called foreplay. It can definitely help. The real issue is paying attention to things other than what's in front of you. You're ignoring the person you're with. Try connecting to them, even without sex, just a massage or even a discussion. I know that after years with my partner, sometimes we lapse into days of silence. It's not hostile, we just kind of don't have anything to say, and it's easy to assume that's okay, but sometimes a good talk can really help you reconnect with someone. Try it naked.
     

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