I'm having issues with lust

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by skepticaljoe, Nov 1, 2019.

  1. skepticaljoe

    skepticaljoe Fapstronaut

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    Every time I go into town lately I find myself looking lustfully at women, some people might say don't worry so much about it, you're only looking but for me I find that it promotes fantasy desire and can lead to pornographic thoughts.
    I am trying to find resources on ways to deal with it. I watched a Russell brand video on this and he simply said "don't be a pervert". but this is the problem, how do I stop being a pervert!? Each time I try to exert control over it by not looking I feel like I'm being neglectful of my desire to look. It almost feels like suppression. That's one of my big issues with this, like a form of denying myself something? But then I haven't fully grasped the concept of dealing with lust, If your testosterone is raging then you might listen more to that then any objective reasoning?
    what have you found is the best way to deal with lust?
     
  2. Aboodhi

    Aboodhi Fapstronaut

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    There is nothing like Self-Control. You have to learn the art of controlling yourself. You need to grow the will power. Atleast you have to reduce your lust. If you tend to watch a women multiple times you've to stop looking at her from the first glance. So with time I guess you can totally end this so called lust. Good Luck!
     
  3. Rehab101

    Rehab101 Fapstronaut

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    Same boat as you. I always have the thought thinking what will be like with a different sex partner with hot features I am fond of.

    Sadly we need to realize this fantasy thought will not be fulfilled despite how bad we want it. A habit with less thoughts into it would help. The more we dwell in it the worse it gets.
     
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  4. livinginhell

    livinginhell Fapstronaut

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    I can relate to this. When I see a good women I start imagining her fully naked. But I don't think it is a huge problem.

    It should disappear with time. May be it is because the porn images we have in our minds. That is the reason behind this. As we keep not watching porn those images should lose power.
     
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  5. skepticaljoe

    skepticaljoe Fapstronaut

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    Well I guess time will tell on it disappearing with time. But I have a strong suspicion in my case it won't, because pornographic thoughts often come from my own imagination. I don't need porn to have pornographic thoughts. There are ways to counter that but it's definitely more difficult work, because when you have a porn site in your own head you can't ever totally detach from stimulus without using a lot of coping strategies. i'm definitely giving this all a proper go though and I haven't viewed porn for over a month now.
     
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  6. Funkypunky

    Funkypunky Fapstronaut

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    Same here whenver i'm walking down the street or using the bus or basically at any public place i cant stop checking out every cleavage or a butt i see. I started trying to control myself and not look and it kinda feels a little bit better. I believe this feeling(like a pervert) will fade away with time.
     
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  7. qwertyatoz

    qwertyatoz New Fapstronaut

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    For me, it relates to watching porn. The less I watch porn, the less I check out women in real life. You are not overhyped on women's bodies.They say that porn objectifies women, and it's true. When we watch porn, we are only focussing on a nice set of boobs, a nice butt, etc. It carries over into real life. Try it. See, if you can stay away from porn, if you urge to check out women is as strong as before.
     
  8. Hold it in

    Hold it in Fapstronaut

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    First I realize that it's just a thought. I'm trying to learn with some success that thoughts do not control me.

    I also believe we have a biological urge to breed, so it's not always easy and more times than not I fail.

    I'm not worried however. I have an advocate in Heaven who knows my struggle
     
  9. Sulu_1415

    Sulu_1415 Fapstronaut

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    Porn Fucks People Up
    confirmed
     
  10. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes. Even after not watching P, like two people actually having sex, only a handful of times in the last year, my lust over women in public is INSANE! Plus P-subs. I can’t shake them. I can’t stop looking at images of beautiful women or social media pictures, plus soft core or even nude pics of women. Still hanging on to me
     
  11. Funkypunky

    Funkypunky Fapstronaut

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    Dude you're going nowhere if you're still peeking at hot girls in social media let alone nude pics. The only way to do nofap is hard mode No pmo no peeking no shit nothing not even a profile picture of a random girl on facebook.
     
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  12. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    i actually did go hard mode for 101 days and then started having sex with wife again and then did relapse at 204 days.

    I still have a lot more benefits after not watching p everyday. But still not where I really WANT to be.
     
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  13. Flimsyfryingpan

    Flimsyfryingpan Fapstronaut

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    Ugh i know this struggle all too well. I remember after doing so well in a 17 day streak all it took was seeing a nice ass in yoga pants that sent my head spinning eventually into a relapse. It was pretty much automatic and made me realize how much more work i need to put into this. I really dont want that creepy label at all and i know it needs to stop.
    Its all about how we react in the right way. I know yoga pants aint going no where anytime soon so therefore i need a better way to cope and move on.
     
  14. Victoriousone

    Victoriousone Fapstronaut

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    I’m currently struggling with this
     
  15. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    Well I know EXACTLY what you mean, unfortunately.
     
  16. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    Maybe we can chat and help each other??
     
  17. Victoriousone

    Victoriousone Fapstronaut

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    If only I saw this post earlier. I wouldn’t mind talking
     
  18. Demodectic

    Demodectic Fapstronaut

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    I think its perfectly normal to look, i mean you where gawking back when you where doing daily PMO, right? So not much has changed. But to stare for TOO LONG is actually just hurting ourself. I mean if we are never planning to go up to and talk to the woman than what is the point of staring? It will only increase our craving which is a form of self-torture. The worst guys are the ones that follow same woman around down the aisles of the stores and following behind while gawking and leering. Society calls those guys creeps.

    We dont want to go that far. Just look away after a few seconds for your own good. Back when we where masturbators it would make sense to take a GOOD LONG LOOK in order to "record it" so we could spank the monkey when we got home but now in this new life we can let those old behaviors go.

    Believe it or not it is a form of freedom to be free of those lecherous desires. We are mentally chained to having to indulge these sexual cravings and lust. Its actually not even enjoyable if we are not going to end up in bed with the girl. So if you are not planning to ask her fr her phone number or ask her out on a date then dont even bother to stare longer than 3-5 seconds.
     
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  19. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    It’s never too late to start again.
     
  20. Funkypunky

    Funkypunky Fapstronaut

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    Sex with wife is fine just the peeking at hot girls pics is more dangerous than you think.
     
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