I'm Just Tired of it

I have been having similar results as of late. Been considering removing my access to a personal computer(I only have one commitment I actually need it for) but advancing there has been lax.

I dont have any solid advice to you other than to keep on the path and try to learn from mistakes. Its been suggested to me to fill out some kind of analysis every time I have a slip(have not been consistent with doing that)

 

Don't know if this will help, but I will share anyway (as your post reminds me a little of myself).

A few hours ago I had porn open (was battling trying to stop), ready to go to town on myself. Was watching it and was thinking something along the lines of, "Don't do this. You need to stop. But I really want that good feeling."

I sat motionless in my chair watching the scene...... on the verge of fapping...... then out of the blue a new thought I'd never thought hit me. "I want to coom in a real girl." Yeah thinking back it sounds hilarious (because it is), but at the time I was dead serious. Seconds after that weird hilarious thought entered my mind I closed the browser and went to the NoFap reddit page that I hadn't been on for a few years.

Then I found my way here to the forums and it's time for me to get serious once again. I've tired once before a few years back, made it a little over 3 months PMO-free before failing and falling back into the vicious PMO cycle of my life.

Failing is part of life, it's ok.

If I sit here and fap everyday into a tissue I weaken myself. I put my power into a tissue and then flush it down the toilet. What female would want that in a mate? Someone who throws away their power for nothing but a tiny bit of momentary pleasure. None, that's not a good mate. They won't make good decisions.

If I even hope to find someone I have to stop. This is for me. I will become a better and stronger person if I stop this.

If I don't stop, if I continue to give in to momentary pleasure I will continue to not be well (depression, etc.). I will continue to weaken myself.

There is power in semen retention. I truly believe that. It's just hard to see and remember that whole picture in the heat of the moment. Lust can drive me insane......

Now I am sort of rambling (so I'll stop), maybe something I said helped. Writing this actually helped me a little or at least I feel better now (got it off my chest and onto the interwebs).

We are all in this together stay strong. Let's make ourselves better versions of ourselves. If we do that the world in turn will be a better place (cliche but still true).

 

Ask yourself if you are ready for change and moving on from these struggles to new struggles

 

PMO is just artificial, because of that it helps me to not relapse. Because it‘s just an addiction nothing else, you don‘t earn anything good from PMOing. You just lose your semen and energy.