Some introduction first. I'm a 19 year old guy with serious porn addiction. After failing several times, I've got the right mentality and I'm on day 16 now. Recently, I've had a bizarre experience. During my sleep, I dreamt that I relapsed. I dreamt that I went through a hell of an urge, finally gave in, looked at porn and MOed. Strangely enough, I don't remember the porn, so at least that's a positive. The thing is, this isn't a wet dream. The morning after, I felt extreme panic, followed by relief when I realised it was a dream, and then depression for a couple of hours. My life without porn is great, and I have stayed away from any arousal. But during the dream, I feel vulnerable. I know it is not a big deal, but it is emotionally taxing. It has happened twice already. Has anyone had similar experiences or does anyone know why this is happening? It's really troubling me and I'm worried that I'm doing something wrong.
Hi mate, I'm in England, too. This looks like your personal best, so well done. But ds, your body is not going to give in without a fight. Your brain is craving masturbation and craves to wallow in watching sex. What you describe is quite common. They can end in an ejaculation of cum or they might not. Yes, they are unsettling and they exacerbate your vulnerability. But, believe me, you are doing nothing wrong. These are like 'addiction seizures' as your brain is rewiring itself. Stick with it man, you are doing good!
Stick to what you're doing, ds112358! If you can spend the few minutes before falling asleep simply being alert and mindful, that will go a long way in clarifying what may be happening in your dream. I agree with IGY - it takes time for your body to get used to the change. I am on day 13 and I may or may not have had a wet dream, but I realize that this is part of the process of getting back to a clean, porn and masturbation free life.
Thank you guys for the replies. They helped a lot. It did not happen again last night, but I realise my dopamine deprived brain will fight back. We just have to be strong.
I've had dreams that I was relapsing, having sex, etc....when you wake up, you're scratching your head, but relieved, too. Lately, my dreams have been rather pleasant.
